Re: Call for reviews: Release Announcement
Alexander Reichle-Schmehl wrote:
> You can find the final draft for the release announcement at [1]. I
> don't plan any changes regarding the content, so please feel free to
> review spelling, grammar and so on.
Okay, I'll throw this patch back at you quickly then look at it
again tomorrow morning and see how many blindingly obvious things
I've missed.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
--- lenny-announcement.en.wml.svn91 2009-02-12 00:09:58.000000000 +0000
+++ lenny-announcement.en.wml.jbr 2009-02-12 00:35:20.000000000 +0000
@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@
Debian GNU/Linux version 5.0 (codenamed <q>lenny</q>) after 22 months of
constant development. Debian GNU/Linux is a free operating system which
supports a total of twelve processor architectures and includes the KDE,
-GNOME, Xfce and LXDE desktop environments. It also features
+GNOME, Xfce, and LXDE desktop environments. It also features
compatibility with the FHS v2.3 and software developed for
version 3.2 of the LSB.</p>
@@ -19,11 +19,11 @@
<p>This includes support for Marvell's Orion platform, and for
devices based on the Orion platform, such as the QNAP Turbo Station,
-HP mv2120, and Buffalo Kurobox Pro as well as Netbooks, such as the EEE PC
-by Asus. Debian GNU/Linux 5.0 <q>Lenny</q> also contains the build tools for Emdebian which
+HP mv2120, and Buffalo Kurobox Pro as well as Netbooks, such as the Eee PC
+by ASUS. Debian GNU/Linux 5.0 <q>Lenny</q> also contains the build tools for Emdebian which
allow Debian source packages to be cross-built and shrunk to suit embedded ARM systems.</p>
-<p>Debian GNU/Linux 5.0 (Lenny) includes the new ARM EABI port, <q>Armel</q>.
+<p>Debian GNU/Linux 5.0 (Lenny) includes the new ARM EABI port, <q>armel</q>.
This new port provides a more efficient use of both modern and future ARM
processors. As a result, the old ARM port (arm) has now been deprecated.</p>
@@ -38,17 +38,17 @@
2.6.26, Apache 2.2.9, Samba 3.2.5, Python 2.5.2 and 2.4.6, Perl 5.10.0,
PHP 5.2.6, Asterisk 1.4.21.2, Emacs 22, Inkscape 0.46, Nagios 3.06, Xen
Hypervisor 3.2.1 (dom0 as well as domU support), OpenJDK 6b11 and more than 23,000 other ready to use
-software packages (build from over 12,000 source packages).</p>
+software packages (built from over 12,000 source packages).</p>
<!-- FIXME: PostgreSQL might become 8.3.6 -->
<p>With the integration of X.org 7.3 the X server autoconfigures itself
with most hardware. Newly introduced packages allow the full support of
-NTFS filesystems or the usage of most multimedia keys out of the box.
-Support for Adobe® Flash® format files are available via the swfdec
-or Gnash plugin.
-Overall improvements for notebooks have been introduced, like out of the
+NTFS filesystems and the use of most multimedia keys out of the box.
+Support for Adobe® Flash® format files is available via the swfdec
+or Gnash plugins.
+Overall improvements for notebooks have been introduced, such as out of the
box support of CPU frequency scaling. For leisure time several new games have
-beed added including puzzle games as well as first-person shooters. A notable change
+been added including puzzle games as well as first-person shooters. Also notable
is the introduction of <q>goplay</q>, a graphical games browser offering filters, search,
screenshots and descriptions for games in Debian.</p>
@@ -56,27 +56,27 @@
into Debian GNU/Linux 5.0 makes it possible to ship Java based
applications in Debian's "main" repository.</p>
-<p>Further improvement regarding the security of the system include the
+<p>Further improvements in system security include the
installation of available security updates before the first reboot by the
installation system, the reduction of setuid root binaries and open ports
-in the standard installation as well as building several
-security-critical packages with GCC Hardening features. Various
+in the standard installation, and the use of GCC hardening features in
+the builds of several security-critical packages. Various
applications have specific improvements, too. PHP for example is now
built with the Suhosin hardening patch.</p>
<p>For non native English speaking users the package management systems now support
translated package descriptions which will automatically show the description
-of a package in the native language of the user if available.</p>
+of a package in the native language of the user, if available.</p>
<p>Debian GNU/Linux can be installed from various installation media such
as DVDs, CDs, USB sticks and floppies, or from the network. GNOME is the
-default desktop environment and is contained on the first CD. The K
-Desktop Environment (KDE), the Xfce or the LXDE desktop can be installed
-through two new alternative CD images. Again available with Debian
+default desktop environment and is contained on the first CD. Other
+desktop environments - KDE, Xfce, or LXDE - can be installed
+through two new alternative CD images. Again available with Debian
GNU/Linux 5.0 are multi-arch CDs and DVDs supporting installation of
-multiple architectures from a single disc as well as Blu-ray Discs
-allowing the archive for an entire architecture to be shipped on a single
-installation medium.</p>
+multiple architectures from a single disc; and this release adds
+Blu-ray Discs, allowing the archive for an entire architecture to be
+shipped on a single BD.</p>
<p>In addition to the regular installation media, Debian GNU/Linux can
now also be directly used without prior installation. These special
@@ -88,7 +88,7 @@
many ways: among many other improvements,
support for installation from more than one CD or DVD has been
restored, firmware required by some devices can be loaded by using
-removable media and installations via braille display are supported
+removable media, and installations via Braille display are supported.
The installer boot process has also received much attention: a graphical
menu can be used to choose front-ends and desktop environments, and to
select expert or rescue mode.
@@ -125,9 +125,9 @@
Linux kernel, the MIPS emulation of qemu, and far too many smaller
projects to be named here.</p>
-<p>Thiemo's work, dedication, broad technical knowledge and ability to
-share this with others will be missed. The contributions of Thiemo will
-not be forgotten. The high standards of Thiemos work make it hard to
+<p>Thiemo's work, commitment, broad technical knowledge and ability to
+share this with others will be missed. His contributions will
+not be forgotten. The high standards of Thiemo's work make it hard to
pick up.</p>
Reply to: