Re: Draft for lenny release announcement
Commenting on this bit just because it has hit d-l-e - my posts to
debian-publicity don't seem to go anywhere.
Damyan Ivanov wrote:
> -=| Alexander Reichle-Schmehl, Mon, Feb 09, 2009 at 11:15:23AM +0100 |=-
>>
>> <p>Also beginning with Debian GNU/Linux 4.0, the package management system
>> has been improved regarding security and efficiency. Secure APT allows
>> the verification of the integrity of packages downloaded from a mirror.
>
> s/4.0/5.0/ ?
s/.*//g - this was new in Etch.
>> <p>Upgrades to Debian GNU/Linux 5.0 from the previous release, Debian
>> GNU/Linux 4.0 codenamed <q>etch</q>, are automatically handled by the
Extra comma after 4.0, or maybe brackets around "codenamed
<q>etch</q>".
>> aptitude package management tool for most configurations, and to a
>> certain degree also by the apt-get package management tool. As always,
>> Debian GNU/Linux systems can be upgraded painlessly, in place, without
>> any forced downtime, but it is strongly recommended to read the release
>> notes for possible issues. For detailed instructions about installing
>> and upgrading Debian GNU/Linux, please see the <a
>> href="$(HOME)/releases/lenny/releasenotes">release notes</a>. Please
>> note that the release notes will be further improved and translated to
>> additional languages in the coming weeks.</p>
>
> "release notes" is somehow repetitive. Proposed new text:
>
> ...
> any forced downtime, but it is strongly recommended to read the <a
> href="$(HOME)/releases/lenny/releasenotes">release notes</a> for
> possible issues. Also there, you will find detailed instructions about
> installing and upgrading. ....
any forced downtime, but it is strongly recommended to read the <a
href="$(HOME)/releases/lenny/releasenotes">release notes</a> for
possible issues, and for detailed instructions on installing
and upgrading. The release notes will be further improved and
translated to additional languages in the weeks after the release.
Use an absolute time reference, not a relative one, so that the
last translator to finish isn't a liar.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
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