Re: Request for Review: Debian Project News 2008/06

[Justin B Rye <jbr@edlug.org.uk>]

Alexander Reichle-Schmehl wrote:
> It it available at <http://wiki.debian.org/ProjectNews/Issues/Current>.
>  Would be nice, if some native speakers could take a look at it.

I'll see if I can get myself a wiki user account; meanwhile here are
the issues I've noticed.

# The survey yielded 116 replies, which covered a whole of 77 teams

s/whole/total/

# while i18n and l10n teams tend to be rather informally organised

s/ised/ized/ (for en_US consistency)

# He summarises the security status of the current testing branch
# "Lenny" as very good and also adds, that even if it appears to be
# so, the testing security team does not support the unstable branch
# "sid" 

s/, that/ that/
s/sid/Sid/

# the behaviour of the three major desktop environments

s/iour/ior/ (en_US)

# While some people found the .menu files to be obsoleted by
# .desktop files, Bernhard Link and others pointed out

s/found/judged/ (or maybe "considered"?)

# The organisers of this year's DebianDay

s/isers/izers/ (en_US)

# Goswin von Brederlow proposed some changes regarding the Debian package
# management's handling of diversions and alternatives

Surplus "the", but the best fix isn't 100% clear.  Maybe
s/management's/management system's/

# the general consensus seems to be, that

s/, that/ that/

# Franklin Piat fears that users might take the recent introduction
# of dpkg triggers, a mechanism to register changes needing to run a
# specific command (for example updating the database for man pages)
# as something negative.

I don't follow that clause after "triggers".  Should it be something
like:
  of dpkg triggers (which are a mechanism for registering required
  actions such as man page database updates) as something negative.
...or what?

# the triggers do actually save computing time during a packages
# installation 

s/packages/package's/

# covers the following topics: Advice on quilt usage and
# compatibility with new source format, update-grub starts using
# UUIDs by default, wxwidgets2.8 upload to unstable, volunteers
# needed to handle update of release notes. 

Make that:
  covers the following topics: advice on quilt usage and its
  compatibility with the new source format; update-grub's switch to
  using UUIDs by default; the wxwidgets2.8 upload to unstable; and a
  call for volunteers to handle the updating of the release notes. 

# Dann Frazier asked for reviews for of the release notes of the
# upcoming release of Debian GNU/Linux 4.0r4.

s/reviews for of/reviews of/

(But isn't this the same as the topic that was mentioned at the end
of the previous paragraph?)

# Since this point release will optionally support newer versions of
# the Linux Kernel, additional care is needed for them.

s/optionally support/support/ (or "support the optional use of"?)
s/Kernel/kernel/

# Johannes Wiedersich wondered what to do with bug reports closed by
# Spam-Mails.  

s/by Spam-Mails/by spam/ (or perhaps "by spam e-mails")

# please subscribe to the our mailing list for security announcements.

s/the our/our/ (this mistake is in your template, by the way)

# Mention who has contributed here

I'd suggest replacing this with the single word "Contributors".
-- 
JBR
Ankh kak! (Ancient Egyptian blessing)