Re: (forw) [RFR] D-I Manual: new section on how to load firmware during installs
Christian Perrier forwarded:
> From: Frans Pop <firstname.lastname@example.org>
> The main description is in a new section:
> - http://people.debian.org/~fjp/tmp/d-i/manual/ch06s04.html
> Besides that I've added short introductions regarding firmware with links
> to the new section in the following places:
> - http://people.debian.org/~fjp/tmp/d-i/manual/ch02s02.html
> - http://people.debian.org/~fjp/tmp/d-i/manual/ch06s03.html
Miscellaneous comments on other pages:
Has a dead link to http://www.kerneltraffic.org
Bulletpoint 2: s/Backup/Back up/, s/partition-able/partitionable/
"We encourage you to put a copy of on every computer in your school"
Talks about "flavors" but then "The 486 flavoUr", and also switches
between "wireless adaptErs"/"type of adaptOr". Footnote 2
refers to "an bug".
Bulletpoint 2 again hyphenates "partition-able".
Bulletpoint 5: "or place boot files". Should that be "put boot
files in place"?
Another "partition-able". Coining "-able" adjectives from
transitive verbs is a fully productive derivational process; it
doesn't need to be listed in the dictionary to be a legitimate word.
More seriously, in the same paragraph:
"Instead, you should just create the native operating system's
partitions you will want to retain."
What in the world does that mean? I can only imagine it must be:
"You should only use the native operating system to create
partitions that you intend to keep that operating system on."
Has several cases of s/set-up/setup/ and s/setup/set up/.
Another s/setup/set up/
5.1.7: "a second menu that allows to boot the installer". And
another "allow to" in the following paragraph. Disallowed!
5.2.1 paragraph 2: s/behind/after/
Under netcfg/disable_dhcp: an "in case" that should be an "if" (or
maybe "when" or "after").
Footnote 8: refers me to directfbrc(5), which will only be available
if libdirectfb-bin is installed (which it never will be).
5.3.1 paragraph 2: "There are a many" - s/ a //
Third bulletpoint: "There should also be a /dev/cdroms/cdrom0."
Should there? I've never seen anything like that.
5.3.4 last paragraph: a malformed e.g. - s/eg./such as/
6.1 Paragraph 7: "For this architecture..." - for what architecture?
An outbreak of gendered third-person-singular pronouns with variable
levels of sexism. But no need for all that faffing around:
we're already referring to the user as "you"!
kbd-chooser: say "you can pick your own model".
choose-mirror: "you can choose the source of your..."
cdrom-checker: "you may assure yourself..."
mdcfg: s/to setup/to set up/.
7.2.3, second bulletpoint: "this is one-step operation" - insert "a"
Refers to apt-howto, which no longer exists, and hyphenates
"browse-able". Yes, there's uncertainty about whether it's spelled
as "browsable" or "browseable", but it's not hyphenated.
The last line of 8.3.1 refers to "export-restricted packages".
"To submit bugs, look at /usr/share/doc/debian/bug*"; nothing there.
Vacillates between "e-mail" and "email" throughout.
8.5, paragraph 1: "there are many options as to how to set it up" -
try "there are many options for setting it up".
8.5, last paragraph: "but can - and often are - also be used..."
What, they are also be used? No, say "but can be - and
often are - used..."
8.5.1 paragraph 1: "Reason is that..." - make that "The reason".
Should this document be encouraging people to use kernel-package
given that it's "unfit for release" (bug #475036)? Not that I've
ever seen any evidence of it failing to work properly...
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package