Re: Proofreading request: dibbler package descriptions
Hi,
The following are mostly suggestions, hopefully fairly reasonable ones.
I'd suggest
http://www.us.debian.org/doc/developers-reference/ch-best-pkging-practices.en.html#s-bpp-desc-basics and the corresponding section on debconf (URL later) might be worth a look, but I'd suggest that to a lot of native speakers too :-).
> --- control ---
> Package: dibbler-server
> Description: portable DHCPv6 server
> This is a DHCPv6 server. It supports both stateful (i.e. IPv6 address
> granting) as well as stateless (i.e. options granting) autoconfiguration
> modes of DHCPv6 protocol. Relays are also supported. Install Dibbler
> server if you'd like to have IPv6 hosts automatically configured in
> your network.
It might be worth making sections of this a list, rather than straight
text. Personally, I'd prefer that it weren't in the second person, but
others might not agree.
"Options granting" doesn't quite sound right; sadly neither do any of
the alternatives I can think of right now.
On the whole, I think it should either be "Install the Dibbler server",
"Install dibbler-server" or preferably something along the lines "This
package will allow IPv6 hosts..."
> Package: dibbler-client
> Description: portable DHCPv6 client
> This is a DHCPv6 client. It supports both statefull (i.e. IPv6 address
> granting) as well as stateless (i.e. option granting) autoconfiguration
> modes of the DHCPv6 protocol. Besides basic capabilities, it supports
> various DHCPv6 extensions, e.g. option renewal. Install Dibber client if
> you want to obtain IPv6 addresses and options from DHCPv6 server.
s/statefull/stateful/
"from a DHCPv6 server"
> Package: dibbler-relay
> Description: portable DHCPv6 relay
> This is a DHCPv6 relay. Relays are used as proxies between server and
> clients. Main advantage is the ability to support multiple remote links
> using only one server. Install Dibbler relay if you want to serve
> multiple not physically connected links with one DHCPv6 server.
Either "between servers and clients" or "between a server and clients".
s/Main/Their main/
> Package: dibbler-doc
> Description: documentation for dibbler
> User's Guide as well as Developer's Guide is included in this package.
> That documentation covers all aspects of Dibbler DHCPv6 implementation:
> - server, client and relay usage and configuration
> - various tips and frequently asked questions
> - internal structure/code description and hints for developers
Might I suggest:
This package includes both user and developer documentation, covering
all aspects of the Dibbler DHCPv6 implementation:
> --- dibbler-client.templates ---
A general note: debconf templates shouldn't refer to interface elements
(e.g. "yes/no"). See Developer's Reference, section 6.5 - specifically
6.5.2.4 and 6.5.4.2.2, although a lot of the surrounding sections are
also relevant.
> Template: dibbler-client/title
> Type: title
> Description: dibbler-client: DHCPv6 client
>
> Template: dibbler-client/start
> Type: boolean
> Default: true
> Description: Do you want dibbler-client to start when system starts?
> Dibbler client can be configured to start at boot, so your host will
> have IPv6 set up after boot. This is generally a good idea. Make sure
> that you have DHCPv6 server available in your network. However, if you
> have installed this package to play with DHCPv6 protocol only, you
> should answer NO here.
s/you have DHCPv6/you have a DHCPv6/. Once again I'd prefer it wasn't in
the second person, but ymmv.
> Template: dibbler-client/interfaces
> Type: string
> Default: eth0
> Description: Which interfaces should be configured by Dibbler client?
> Specify which network interfaces should be configured by Dibbler client.
> .
> If you do not know what network interfaces you have, specifying 'eth0'
> is the most reasonable.
> .
> You can specify more than one interface, just separate the interface
> names with spaces.
(see 6.5.4.2.1 for most of my reasoning for the following):
Description: Interfaces to be configured:
Dibbler can configure any or all of a computer's network interfaces.
.
More than one interface may be specified by separating the
interface names with spaces.
> Template: dibbler-client/options
> Type: multiselect
> Choices: dns, domain
> Default: dns
> Description: What additional parameters should be obtained?
> Dibbler client can request DHCPv6 server for additional configuration
> parameters.
"The Dibbler client can request that the DHCPv6 server supply additional
configuration paramters"
> --- dibbler-server.templates ---
>
> Template: dibbler-server/title
> Type: title
> Description: dibbler-server: DHCPv6 server
>
> Template: dibbler-server/start
> Type: boolean
> Default: true
> Description: Do you want dibbler-server to start when system starts?
> Dibbler server can be configured to start at boot. Answer YES, if
> this node should act as DHCPv6 server, providing IPv6 addresses and
> additional configuration options to other nodes in the network.
> Otherwise, answer NO.
s/when system/when the system/ and s/act as DHCPv6/act as a DHCPv6/
> Template: dibbler-server/config
> Type: note
> Description: Modify /etc/dibbler/server.conf before running server.
> Make sure that you have modified server.conf configuration file
> located in the /etc/dibbler directory. Without proper modifications,
> your server will start offering invalid addresses.
"the server.conf file" or "the configuration file server.conf". Having
said that the full path to the file is within the short description, so
Without proper modifications the Dibbler server will most likely offer
invalid
addresses when started.
would possibly be better.
> --- dibbler-relay.templates ---
> Template: dibbler-relay/title
> Type: title
> Description: dibbler-relay: DHCPv6 relay
>
> Template: dibbler-relay/start
> Type: boolean
> Default: true
> Description: Do you want dibbler-relay to start when system starts?
> Dibbler relay can be configured to start at boot. Answer YES, if
> this node should forward DHCPv6 messages. Otherwise, answer NO.
s/when system/when the system/
> Template: dibbler-relay/config
> Type: note
> Description: Modify /etc/dibbler/relay.conf before running relay.
> Make sure that you have modified relay.conf configuration file
> located in the /etc/dibbler directory. Without proper modifications,
> your relay most likely will refuse to start or will not forward
> DHCPv6 messages as expected.
"the relay.conf file" or "the configuration file realy.conf".
Hope that helped, at least to some extent.
Adam
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