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Bug#781704: marked as done (release-notes: proofreading for upgrading.dbk)

Your message dated Thu, 02 Apr 2015 15:47:45 +0200
with message-id <551D4881.3090409@thykier.net>
and subject line Re: Bug#781704: release-notes: proofreading for upgrading.dbk
has caused the Debian Bug report #781704,
regarding release-notes: proofreading for upgrading.dbk
to be marked as done.

This means that you claim that the problem has been dealt with.
If this is not the case it is now your responsibility to reopen the
Bug report if necessary, and/or fix the problem forthwith.

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-- 
781704: http://bugs.debian.org/cgi-bin/bugreport.cgi?bug=781704
Debian Bug Tracking System
Contact owner@bugs.debian.org with problems
--- Begin Message --- 
Package: release-notes
Severity: normal
Tags: patch

Most of the upgrading file is familiar stuff, but this bit needs a
couple of tweaks:

> --- upgrading.dbk.pristine	2015-04-01 19:00:01.309706731 +0100
> +++ upgrading.dbk	2015-04-01 20:49:57.881522911 +0100
> @@ -186,9 +186,9 @@
>  <section id="recovery-shell-systemd">
>    <title>Debug shell during boot using systemd</title>
>    <para>
> -    In case the boot fails under systemd, it is possible to obtain a
> +    If the boot fails under systemd, it is possible to obtain a

For many English-speakers, "in case X happens, do Y" means "to ensure
X doesn't happen, always do Y".

>      debug root shell by changing the kernel command line.  If the
> -    basic boot succeeds, but some of the services fails to start, it
> +    basic boot succeeds, but some services fail to start, it
>      may be useful to add <literal>systemd.unit=rescue.target</literal>
>      to the kernel parameters.
>    </para>

The services that might fail aren't definite (and aren't singular).
-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package

--- upgrading.dbk.pristine	2015-04-01 19:00:01.309706731 +0100
+++ upgrading.dbk	2015-04-01 20:49:57.881522911 +0100
@@ -186,9 +186,9 @@
 <section id="recovery-shell-systemd">
   <title>Debug shell during boot using systemd</title>
   <para>
-    In case the boot fails under systemd, it is possible to obtain a
+    If the boot fails under systemd, it is possible to obtain a
     debug root shell by changing the kernel command line.  If the
-    basic boot succeeds, but some of the services fails to start, it
+    basic boot succeeds, but some services fail to start, it
     may be useful to add <literal>systemd.unit=rescue.target</literal>
     to the kernel parameters.
   </para>

--- End Message ---
--- Begin Message --- 
On 2015-04-01 22:01, Justin B Rye wrote:
> Package: release-notes
> Severity: normal
> Tags: patch
> 
> Most of the upgrading file is familiar stuff, but this bit needs a
> couple of tweaks:
> 
>> [...]

Thanks, applied as-is.

~Niels

--- End Message ---
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