--- Begin Message ---
Package: release-notes
Severity: normal
Tags: patch
Apparently this may still need content changes, but at any rate,
here's a proofreading patch.
> --- whats-new.dbk.pristine 2015-04-01 18:43:25.619134380 +0100
> +++ whats-new.dbk 2015-04-01 18:42:46.496287649 +0100
> @@ -337,7 +337,7 @@
> </para>
>
> <section id="cd">
> -<title>CDs, DVDs and BDs</title>
> +<title>CDs, DVDs, and BDs</title>
> <para>
> The official &debian; distribution now ships on 9 to 10 binary
> <acronym>DVD</acronym>s <indexterm><primary>DVD</primary></indexterm>
Standardising on Harvard comma.
> @@ -373,7 +373,7 @@
> in the same place.
> </para>
> <para>
> - The screensaver has been replaced by a “lock screen” that still brings
> + The screensaver has been replaced by a "lock screen" that still brings
> minimal functionality when the user is away. For example, you can pause
> the music, be informed of a new email, or change the screen brightness,
> all of that without entering a password. Pressing the Escape key or
Standardising on ASCII quotes.
> @@ -382,14 +382,14 @@
> </para>
> <para>
> Several applications, including the Nautilus file manager, the gedit
> - text editor, and the evince document viewer, have seen their design made
> + text editor, and the evince document viewer have seen their design made
> much more compact, merging the window titlebar with the toolbar. This
> leaves much more room for the documents the user is working on. The
> standard dialog boxes have undergone similar changes.
> </para>
This already has Harvard comma and another surplus one on top.
> <para>
> Support for touch screens has been fully integrated, including intuitive
> - gestures based on multiple fingers movements. GNOME now also supports
> + gestures based on multiple finger movements. GNOME now also supports
> high resolution (HiDPI) screens, taking full advantage of fine pixeling
> for the clearest rendering.
> </para>
A case where stacked nouns don't inflect.
> @@ -414,7 +414,7 @@
> <para>
> Introduced in &debian; &oldrelease;, <systemitem
> role="package">systemd</systemitem> is now the default init system. It
> - provides advanced monitoring, logging and service management capabilities.
> + provides advanced monitoring, logging, and service management capabilities.
> </para>
> <para>
Harvardisation.
> While it is designed as a drop-in
> @@ -426,7 +426,7 @@
> <systemitem role="package">systemd-sysv</systemitem> package provides the
> <literal>/sbin/init</literal> replacement.
> <!-- To utilize the features provided by systemd, about 50 packages already
> - provide native support, among them core packages like udev, dbus and
> + provide native support, among them core packages like udev, dbus, and
> rsyslog.-->
> </para>
> <para>
<!-- ditto -->
> @@ -463,7 +463,7 @@
> <para>
> In some rare cases the security support for a package shipped in
> a Debian release needs to be terminated prior to the end of support
> - for the full distribution. jessie provides a new package (<systemitem
> + for the full distribution. Jessie provides a new package (<systemitem
> role="package">debian-security-support</systemitem>) which emits a warning
> if support for a package needs to be terminated in advance. It also
> documents packages where the scope of security support is limited.
Titlecase for release names. (This is another file where using
&releasename; seems counterproductive: if the variable ever varies
then the content automatically needs to be thrown out as stale.)
> @@ -493,13 +493,13 @@
> </section>
> <section id="mariadb">
> <title>MariaDB next to MySQL</title>
> - <para>Next to the older MySQL 5.5, &Releasename; ships the new MariaDB 10.0.
> + <para>Along with the older MySQL 5.5, &Releasename; ships the new MariaDB 10.0.
> See the <ulink url="http://wiki.debian.org/Teams/MySQL";>Debian MySQL Team
> wiki page</ulink> for more information. Only one of them is likely to be
> included in &debian; &nextrelease;.
> </para>
MySQL isn't "next to" MariaDB - they're separated by mount, for a
start.
> <para>
> - Note that upstream support for MySQL 5.5 will cease on December
> + Note that upstream support for MySQL 5.5 will cease in December
> 2017 (and Debian security support will have to follow that), while
> MariaDB 10.0 will receive upstream security support until March
> 2019.
Grammar fix.
> @@ -519,9 +519,9 @@
> url="http://blends.debian.org/blends/";>Blend</ulink> consisting of
> <ulink url="https://tracker.debian.org/pkg/debian-games";>33
> metapackages</ulink> which simplify the installation of games per
> - category. The selection includes among many others strategy, simulation, card
> + category. The selection includes among many others strategy, simulation, card,
> and programming games. Debian Games also offers developers a quick way to
> - install recommended software for developing games in the C++, Java, Perl or
> + install recommended software for developing games in the C++, Java, Perl, or
> Python 3 programming languages. Content developers will find useful tools
> for creating game art in <systemitem role="package">games-content-dev</systemitem>.
> The project homepage provides screenshots and further information and
Harvardisation, twice.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
--- whats-new.dbk.pristine 2015-04-01 18:43:25.619134380 +0100
+++ whats-new.dbk 2015-04-01 18:42:46.496287649 +0100
@@ -337,7 +337,7 @@
</para>
<section id="cd">
-<title>CDs, DVDs and BDs</title>
+<title>CDs, DVDs, and BDs</title>
<para>
The official &debian; distribution now ships on 9 to 10 binary
<acronym>DVD</acronym>s <indexterm><primary>DVD</primary></indexterm>
@@ -373,7 +373,7 @@
in the same place.
</para>
<para>
- The screensaver has been replaced by a “lock screen” that still brings
+ The screensaver has been replaced by a "lock screen" that still brings
minimal functionality when the user is away. For example, you can pause
the music, be informed of a new email, or change the screen brightness,
all of that without entering a password. Pressing the Escape key or
@@ -382,14 +382,14 @@
</para>
<para>
Several applications, including the Nautilus file manager, the gedit
- text editor, and the evince document viewer, have seen their design made
+ text editor, and the evince document viewer have seen their design made
much more compact, merging the window titlebar with the toolbar. This
leaves much more room for the documents the user is working on. The
standard dialog boxes have undergone similar changes.
</para>
<para>
Support for touch screens has been fully integrated, including intuitive
- gestures based on multiple fingers movements. GNOME now also supports
+ gestures based on multiple finger movements. GNOME now also supports
high resolution (HiDPI) screens, taking full advantage of fine pixeling
for the clearest rendering.
</para>
@@ -414,7 +414,7 @@
<para>
Introduced in &debian; &oldrelease;, <systemitem
role="package">systemd</systemitem> is now the default init system. It
- provides advanced monitoring, logging and service management capabilities.
+ provides advanced monitoring, logging, and service management capabilities.
</para>
<para>
While it is designed as a drop-in
@@ -426,7 +426,7 @@
<systemitem role="package">systemd-sysv</systemitem> package provides the
<literal>/sbin/init</literal> replacement.
<!-- To utilize the features provided by systemd, about 50 packages already
- provide native support, among them core packages like udev, dbus and
+ provide native support, among them core packages like udev, dbus, and
rsyslog.-->
</para>
<para>
@@ -463,7 +463,7 @@
<para>
In some rare cases the security support for a package shipped in
a Debian release needs to be terminated prior to the end of support
- for the full distribution. jessie provides a new package (<systemitem
+ for the full distribution. Jessie provides a new package (<systemitem
role="package">debian-security-support</systemitem>) which emits a warning
if support for a package needs to be terminated in advance. It also
documents packages where the scope of security support is limited.
@@ -493,13 +493,13 @@
</section>
<section id="mariadb">
<title>MariaDB next to MySQL</title>
- <para>Next to the older MySQL 5.5, &Releasename; ships the new MariaDB 10.0.
+ <para>Along with the older MySQL 5.5, &Releasename; ships the new MariaDB 10.0.
See the <ulink url="http://wiki.debian.org/Teams/MySQL";>Debian MySQL Team
wiki page</ulink> for more information. Only one of them is likely to be
included in &debian; &nextrelease;.
</para>
<para>
- Note that upstream support for MySQL 5.5 will cease on December
+ Note that upstream support for MySQL 5.5 will cease in December
2017 (and Debian security support will have to follow that), while
MariaDB 10.0 will receive upstream security support until March
2019.
@@ -519,9 +519,9 @@
url="http://blends.debian.org/blends/";>Blend</ulink> consisting of
<ulink url="https://tracker.debian.org/pkg/debian-games";>33
metapackages</ulink> which simplify the installation of games per
- category. The selection includes among many others strategy, simulation, card
+ category. The selection includes among many others strategy, simulation, card,
and programming games. Debian Games also offers developers a quick way to
- install recommended software for developing games in the C++, Java, Perl or
+ install recommended software for developing games in the C++, Java, Perl, or
Python 3 programming languages. Content developers will find useful tools
for creating game art in <systemitem role="package">games-content-dev</systemitem>.
The project homepage provides screenshots and further information and
--- End Message ---