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bash exorcism experiment ('bug' 762923 & 763012)

So far, I need to do the following to remove bash (and associated risk of
0-days until something sane is done about functions)

So far everything I've tested on one desktop and one server is fine.

What reasonable ways might there be to support changes to a few 
packages to run wheezy without bash, and explicitly add proper
dependencies instead of just calling it 'essential'

--- dhclient-script.bad	2014-09-27 00:21:48.377145358 -0500
+++ /sbin/dhclient-script	2014-09-27 00:15:31.508982652 -0500
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
 # dhclient-script for Linux. Dan Halbert, March, 1997.
 # Updated for Linux 2.[12] by Brian J. Murrell, January 1999.

apt-get remove bash gets the following:

The following packages will be REMOVED:
  bash bash-completion dpatch foo2zjs foomatic-db-engine foomatic-filters printer-driver-foo2zjs
  printer-driver-m2300w printer-driver-pxljr
WARNING: The following essential packages will be removed.
This should NOT be done unless you know exactly what you are doing!
0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 9 to remove and 0 not upgraded.
After this operation, 10.8 MB disk space will be freed.
You are about to do something potentially harmful.
To continue type in the phrase 'Yes, do as I say!'
 ?] Yes, do as I say!
(Reading database ... 293950 files and directories currently installed.)
Removing printer-driver-pxljr ...
Removing printer-driver-m2300w ...
Removing foomatic-db-engine ...
Removing foo2zjs ...
Removing printer-driver-foo2zjs ...
Removing foomatic-filters ...
Removing dpatch ...
Removing bash-completion ...
dpkg: warning: overriding problem because --force enabled:
 This is an essential package - it should not be removed.
Removing bash ...
Processing triggers for cups ...
Starting Common Unix Printing System: cupsd.
Processing triggers for man-db ...
Processing triggers for desktop-file-utils ...
Processing triggers for menu ...
sh: 1: exec: /bin/bash: not found
Unknown error, message=exec /bin/bash -o pipefail -c 'dpkg-query --show --showformat="\${status} \${provides} \${package}\n" | sed -n -e "/installed\|triggers-awaited\|triggers-pending /{s/^.*\(installed\|triggers-awaited\|triggers-pending\) *//; s/[, ][, ]*/\n/g; p}"'

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