Re: Article (almost finished) introducing Debian 2.1 aka Slink
>>>>> "Daniel" == Daniel Martin <Daniel.Martin@jhu.edu> writes:
Daniel> Javier Fdz-Sanguino Pen~a <email@example.com>
>> Debian 2.1 includes a big number of new graphic applications
Daniel> "big" => "large". (I'm not sure why, but any native
Daniel> speaker would tell you that this makes it better)
The adjective 'big' implies mass or size, the adjective 'large'
implies cardinaltiy or a numeric context.
>> Other applications that can be pointed out in Debian 2.1 is the
>> Mozilla <http://www.mozilla.org> browser, the navigator
>> component of Netscape Communicator, that can be know part of
>> Debian now that Netscape
That should be 'Another application...' or '... are the Mozilla'. The
word 'know', which Daniel correctly notes should be 'now', would be
better removed entirely.
>> Corporation allows the free distribution of its source code;
>> also the free ofimatic suite Siag can be installed and used,
>> which includes a word processor, a spreadsheet and other
>> ofimatic applications.
The 'also' doesn't belong with the seim-colon and should be removed.
As a meta-comment on Daniel's recommendations for the exchange of
commas for semi-colons or periods in a number of places, I'd suggest
periods in preference to semi-colons. While they nominally perform
the same role, shorter sentences will increase reading ease.
Especially as you're using commas to sepereate logically related
phrases. according to my style guides, semi-colons are for more
abrupt changes in prose flow; things about cats or dogs or butterflies
Daniel> I didn't have any problems with the rest, though the whole
Daniel> (after making these changes) should probably be gone over
Daniel> again by a native English speaker with a few hours to
Daniel> spare and the right personality traits for nitpicking.
Feel free to send me a copy privately; I'll happily pick nits. :)
It should be illegal to yell "Y2K" in a crowded economy. :-) -- Larry Wall