Re: how native is this

[Rick Thomas <rbthomas55@pobox.com>]

On Jul 11, 2005, at 10:35 AM, Geert Stappers wrote:

> On Sat, Jul 09, 2005 at 07:07:47AM +0200, Christian Perrier wrote:
> > Quoting Debian Bug Tracking System (owner@bugs.debian.org):
> > > Your message dated Fri, 08 Jul 2005 09:33:41 -0400
> > > with message-id <E1Dqsz7-0004M1-00@newraff.debian.org>
> > > and subject line Bug#265900: fixed in lilo-installer 1.11
> > > has caused the attached Bug report to be marked as done.
> >
> >
> > >    * Patch from Eugeniy Meshcheryako to add raid-extra-boot=mbr-only
> > >      to lilo.conf for software raid (Closes: #281724) and to add a 
> > > new, working
> > >      menu for raid (Closes: #265900)
> >
> >
> > This patch introduces a new string which I'm not completely
> > comfortable with:
> >
> > The LILO program needs to be installed to make your new Debian system
> > bootable. You may choose to install it onto software RAID array or 
> > onto
> > other device.
> >
> > The first sentence is common with other lilo-installer templates and I
> > propose to remove the "Debian" word here to avoid needed branding to
> > derived distributions ("make your new system bootable" seems pretty
> > acceptable to me).
> >
> > The second sentence is probably missing an article : onto *a* software
> > RAID array. We can also probably avoid the repetition of "onto".
> >
> > Native speakers?
>
> only a Subject retitle from a native Dutch speaker,
> to trigger native english speaker  :P
>
>
> GSt

Christian (the quoting is unclear, but I *think* it's Christian) has it 
right:

"The LILO program needs to be installed to make your new system 
bootable. You may choose to install it onto a software RAID array or 
other device."

seems clear and grammatical to this native US English speaker...

Rick