Re: [Debconf-team] Please help review the DC11 final report
Hi,
On Tue, Feb 21, 2012 at 07:58:31AM -0600, Gunnar Wolf wrote:
> [...] my only request from you all, specially from native English
> speakers, is to go through it and check if I have made any stoopid
> mistakes. The texts were all reviewed already by native speakers,
> but reading bits of them again won't hurt. [...]
In the DebCamp part:
| As the team of organisers and volunteers included a great number of
| personnel, coordination in and between the teams was tough. This
| problem was avoided using hand-held transceivers and SIM cards
| provided free-of-charge to all attendees by one of our sponsors, the
| mobile phone network m:tel.
"[...] coordination _was_ tough. This problem _was_ avoided [...]"
IMHO this is contradictonal: Was it tough or could the problem of
being tough be avoided?
In the Talks part:
| We also held a skill exchange. We did not organize it as a track
| because it consisted of talks [...]
"a skill exchange" sounds as if it would have been one thing. It
rather were many things, so I suggest to rephrase it in plural like
e.g. "We also held skill exchange sessions. We did not organize them
as ...".
And IIRC inside the wiki "skills exchange" (plural of skill) was used.
Typos in the Debian Day part:
potentail => potential
dissappointment => disappointment
In the Attendee Impressions part of Raphael Hertzog a bug report is
mentioned, but just as "see #552668" -- for those who are not familiar
with Debian an URL as reference should be included.
In the Attendee Impressions part of Steve McIntyre, sometimes people
are referenced by their full name (e.g. Steve Langasek), sometimes
just by their given names (Martin, Otavio, Jimmy). Not sure if that
was on purpose by Steve, but if not, maybe it should corrected. At
least Martin is very ambiguous, not only within Debian. ;-)
In the Cheese and Wine Party part, first paragraph:
| we organize the “Cheese and Wine Party”
I think that should be past tense: "we organized"
In the Venue part:
| one hotel was literally across the street, the other two were 50
| meters away
There's likely a zero missing: 50 meters => 500 meters
Typo in the DebConf Numbers part:
atttendees => attendees
DebConf11 attendance by gender:
Any reason for the (IMHO ugly) black background? Why not black text on
white/transparent background to fit the rest of the document? Maybe
with a thin black border if separation from the text is wanted (which
seems not so since the caption is inside the black background).
Typos in the Budgeting part:
4x contributers => contributors
Regards, Axel
--
,''`. | Axel Beckert <abe@debian.org>, http://people.debian.org/~abe/
: :' : | Debian Developer, ftp.ch.debian.org Admin
`. `' | 1024D: F067 EA27 26B9 C3FC 1486 202E C09E 1D89 9593 0EDE
`- | 4096R: 2517 B724 C5F6 CA99 5329 6E61 2FF9 CD59 6126 16B5
Reply to: