On Sat, Oct 15, 2011 at 4:35 AM, Pablo Duboue <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I'll see if I can chip in some help after being MIA for dc11 (having a
legal residence in 3 different countries in the same year was a little
too much ;-)
Just read the brochure. The last sections need work:
"Importancia de DebConf para Nicaragua" makes too strong claims about
how dc10 changed Debian perception in NY/CU and about how there was a
noticeable increase of adoption in Debian in NYC after dc10.
"Efectos a largo plazo de la DebConf12" includes the following
sentence "Esto no está basado en nuestras creencias, sino en datos
estadísticos generados después de las Conferencias Debian realizadas
anteriormente en otros países." which translates "this [the impact of
DebConf in the local place] is not based on our beliefs but in
statistical data generated after past DebConfs at other countries"
(quick translate, but you get the idea). When I worked on the dc10
brochure there were no such statistical data available and I really
doubt we have strong numbers, as collecting them is expensive and
wouldn't serve any real purpose beyond making our sponsors happy (we
make them happy by other means, for example giving them Debian :-).
Even if this version of the brochure is in Spanish so it might feel
"local", we can't put the name of Debian and DebConf behind things we
can't back up a 100%. Accuracy is very important in communicating with
potential sponsors and making a bad impression on one sponsor can
reflect bad on the conference for the years to come.
Agreed. My suggestion is to get rid of paragraphs 3-5.
The claims about the tourist impact seem inflated. Many of our
attendees operate in a shoestring budget and are completely sponsored.
Others are better off and spend a month visiting the host country.
Better wording will help here.
Changed 'muchos' to 'algunos' at the beginning. Rephrased paragraph number 3.
The last sections look like a wall of text and don't fit with the
overall tone of the previous parts.
I know Spanish prose is more in the lines of the last sections so the
dc12 team might want to rearrange the whole thing so it flows well for
the Spanish speaking crowd.
Yep. That last part looks quite intimidating. Let me check with the rest of the team and see what we can come up with.
Still, if you're going to go for local
companies they will want a shorter brochure.
I think this is the long version of the sponsorship brochure. We'll have something shorter and 'friendlier' available as well.
For the dc10 brochure I got two of our past sponsors on the record
with quotations about the value they received by sponsors dc9. You
might want to fish that back from the dc10 brochure. I think that's
one of the best bits, there might be more stuff. Starting with the dc9
brochure sounds rather old ;-)
Agreed. Will check the dc10 brochure for quotations.
Last question: the last sections seems strongly geared towards
government support. Is that the case?
Actually, yes! I think that was the whole idea with the last section. Maybe we should drop it or rephrase it for other potential (non-governmental) sponsors?
Thank you so much for proofreading!
PS: si mi ingles esta confuso, escribanme fuera de la lista, en
español. En IRC soy DrDub. Un gran saludo y felicitaciones al equipo
Gracias! Lo haremos!