Re: draft: confirm your attendance to debconf5, please
I second the comments that "How" isn't covered at all and it
should be on the end of the first paragraph with any URL (also?)
at the finish. Who, what, why, and when are there. I guess where
is missing, but I don't know whether it's important.
Dates should be DD MMM YYYY with DD either cardinal (21) or
ordinal (21st) for Europeans, in my opinion. Other than that,
I mostly flip or add pronouns and prepositions. I can't
explain all of them, other than sounding nice to my English
ear. Hope that's OK.
Here are my suggestions:
Dear Debconf5 registree!
- Please confirm your attendance to debconf5 untill 21:00UTC 31 May,
- completing the registration form including your arrival and
- departure date and time, sleeping preferences, etc and updating
- the field if you will or will not attend.
+ Please confirm your attendance at Debconf5 before 21 May 2005 21:00 +0000,
+ by completing the registration form, including your arrival and
+ departure date and time, sleeping preferences, and so on, and updating
+ the field to show whether you will or will not attend.
We need to make final arrangements for food and room allocation
- and need to make binding arrangements on the 1st of june.
+ and we need to make binding arrangements on 1 June.
- We will need to disregard registrations which are incomplete or
- have not confirmed their attendence by then. This implies their
+ We will need to discard registrations which are incomplete or
+ have not confirmed their attendence by then. This implies
removal from the sponsored travel/food/accomodation.
If you have questions regarding this, please contact
debconf5-team@lists.debconf.org for assistance.
Thank you very much!
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