[Date Prev][Date Next] [Thread Prev][Thread Next] [Date Index] [Thread Index]

Re: Blogpost welcoming Outreachy interns, and GSoC preparation



Laura Arjona Reina wrote:
> Please, have a look at the current draft:
> 
> https://bits.debian.org/drafts/welcome-outreachy-interns-2017-2018.html
> 
> and ping me here or in the IRC channels if you have corrections/comments
> (or commit yourselves).

I don't know the required incantations for doing this via git, so this
is just a verbal-mode diff on the formatted web page.

> We'd like to welcome our three Outreachy interns for this round,
> lasting from December 2017 to March 2018.
> 
> Juliana Oliveira is working in Reproducible builds for Debian and free
> software.

Here and below, "working in" (a field) is possible, but less likely
than "working on" (compare the quoted material from outreachy.org).

There's also some arbitrary overcapitalisation here: s/Repro/repro/
and (below) s/Bringing/bringing/.
 
> Kira Obrezkova is working in Bringing open-source mobile technologies
> to the new level with Debian (Osmocom).
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That's either "to a new level" or "to the next level".
 
> Renata D'Avila is working in a calendar database of FOSS social events
> and conferences.

This really *has* to be "working on".

> 
> Congratulations, Juliana, Kira and Renata!
> 
> From the official website: _Outreachy provides three-month internships
> for people from groups traditionally underrepresented in tech. Interns
> work remotely with mentors from Free and Open Source Software (FOSS)
> communities on projects ranging from programming, user experience,
> documentation, illustration and graphical design, to data science._

We've used "FOSS" without defining it in the previous paragraph.  We
don't want to *move* the definition, since this part is a quote, so
instead change that previous paragraph not to use it - maybe "a
calendar database of conferences and social events for free software
developers".
 
> The Outreachy program is possible in Debian thanks to the effort of
                                                                 ^^
s/effort/efforts/

> Debian developers and contributors that dedicate part of their free
                                     ^^^^          ^^^^^^^
s/that/who/; you could probably drop "part of".

> time to mentor students and outreach tasks, and the help of the
> Software Freedom Conservancy, who provides administrative support for

My en_GB instincts tell me that an organisation counts for verb
agreement as plural ("who provide").  Americans often prefer to stick
to the rule that an organization is singular but nonhuman ("which
provides").  Or we could avoid the issue by just saying

                                       [...], and the Software Freedom
 Conservancy's administrative support, as well as [...]

> Outreachy, as well as the continued support of Debian's donors, who
> provide funding for the internships.
> 
> Debian will also participate in the next round for Outreachy, during
> next summer, and is currently applying as mentoring organization for

Instead of repeating "next", since it's the summer of this year you
could trim it down a bit: drop "during next summer" and make it "will
also participate this summer".

> the Google Summer of Code 2018 program. Have a look at the projects
> wiki page and contact the Debian Outreach Team mailing list to join as
> a mentor or welcome applicants in the Outreachy or GSoC program.

If you wanted it to be en_GB you'd need to change the spellings
"organiZation" and (twice) "programME".  No need otherwise.

I think you probably mean "welcome applicants s/in/into/".
 
> Join us and help extend Debian!

We achieved our Stretch goals last year!
-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package


Reply to: