Re: [DRAFT FOR REVIEW] SERPRO chose Debian GNU / Linux for its servers and wish to collaborate
On Tue, Aug 26, 2008 at 12:11:52PM -0700, AndreMachado wrote:
> Please, review and improve the draft [0], even its title.
Some suggestions (quotes copy&pasted from the wiki):
> SERPRO chose Debian GNU / Linux for its servers and wish to collaborate
No spaces between GNU, / and Linux. Maybe rephrase the title to
"Brazilian Government agency" or something instead of SERPRO, nobody
outside of Brazil knows that acronym. In any case "brazilian government
IT company" sounds weird, is it a company, or part of the government?
Or a company which the government holds the majority of the shares?
> US$ 1 billion annual revenue, 10 thousand plus employees
I'd drop that, or put it in later, it looks distracting in the first
paragraph. Maybe it's best to include that in an "About SERPRO"
paragraph at the end.
> Debian Day Brasil 2008 RS Porto Alegre
What does the RS stand for? If it's an acronym, spell it out the first
time, or drop it.
> The SERPRO will strategically reduce the cost of suppliers dependency
> and increase its flexibility, agility and participation in solution
> processes, by increasing the direct interaction with the Debian
> Project community.
Sorry, but this sounds like plain marketing speech. I am not convinced
a US$ 1 billion company will significantly change its figures just by
"direct interaction with the Debian Project community".
> culturally release total control for increasing collaboration and
> respect at the community, to increase agility at the needed
> information flux in order to get better operational continuity and
> efficiency.
Are you really sure they got suggested doing this at Debian Day? In any
case, I cannot parse this, most notably not the first part "culturally
release total control for increasing collaboration".
Michael
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