Re: Proposal for public announcement for the next release update
Hi,
On Sun, Jul 23, 2006 at 07:58:06PM +0200, Martin Schulze wrote:
> Here's the current text:
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> The Debian Project http://www.debian.org/
> Upcoming Release of Debian GNU/Linux 4.0 press@debian.org
> July XXXX, 2006 http://www.debian.org/News/2006/200607XX
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Upcoming Release of Debian GNU/Linux 4.0
>
> The Debian project confirms December 2006 as date for the next release
> of its distribution which will be named Debian GNU/Linux 4.0 alias
> 'etch'. It will be released synchronously for 11 architectures and
> will officially support the AMD64 architecture for the first time.
You should have "confirms December 2006 as the date for the".
I'd change the end of the last sentence to be on its own: "This will be
the first official release of the AMD64 architecture".
> The upcoming release will probably be shipped with Linux 2.6.17 as
> default kernel. This kernel will be used synchronously for all
> architectures and the installer. At a review in October the project
> may decide upon a newer version, though.
This paragraph sounds weird compared to the last one in which you
seemed confident everything was scheduled properly, so I'd change it to
this:
At this stage, the upcoming release will ship with Linux 2.6.17
as its default kernel. This kernel will be used across all
architectures and on the installer. A later version may be
selected during a review in October.
If you don't like that change, you should still change "will probably
be shipped" to "will probably ship", and "as default kernel" to "as the
default kernel".
Martin's already commented on the weird use of synchronously here so
I'll leave that out.
You should lose the "though" at the end, it looks out of place.
> New features include the GNU Compiler Collection 4.1 as default
> compiler. X.Org will replace XFree86 as implementation of the X
> Window System X11. Secure APT will add extra security by easily
> supporting strong cryptography and digital signatures to validate
> downloaded packages.
It's strange to refer to new features, and then have a list of new
programs instead. How about something like:
New features include a new default compiler (GNU Compiler
Collection 4.1), a new X Window System X11 implementation
(X.Org), more security in package installation with the use of
strong cryptography and digital signatures to validated
downloaded packages.
The rest looks good.
Hope that helps,
Pasc
--
Pascal Hakim 0403 411 672
Do Not Bend
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