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Re: Request for Review: APT manpages



I'm skipping apt.conf for now because it's horrible, so next it's
apt-config.

[...]
>  <refsect1><title>Description</title>
>    <para><command>apt-config</command> is an internal program used by various
>    portions of the APT suite to provide consistent configurability. It accesses
>    the main configuration file <filename>/etc/apt/apt.conf</filename> in a
>    manner that is easy to use by scripted applications.</para>
                                ^^
"By" would need a passive or something; say "for".
 
>    <para>Unless the <option>-h</option>, or <option>--help</option> option is
>    given one of the commands below must be present.
>    </para>
>    
>    <variablelist>
>      <varlistentry><term><option>shell</option></term>
>      <listitem><para>
>      shell is used to access the configuration information from a shell 
>      script. It is given pairs of arguments, the first being a shell 
>      variable and the second the configuration value to query. As output 
>      it lists a series of shell assignments commands for each present value. 
                ^^^^^^^^^^^
Drop this phrase - it lists one command for each value, not a series
of commands for each value.

>      In a shell script it should be used like:

s/like/as follows/
      
[...]
>       <term><option>--format '<replaceable>&percnt;f &#x0022;&percnt;v&#x0022;;&percnt;n</replaceable>'</option></term>
>       <listitem><para>Defines the output of each config option. &percnt;t will be replaced with the name of the option,
> 		      &percnt;f with the complete optionname and &percnt;v with the value of the option.
> 		      Use uppercase letters and special characters in the value will be encoded to ensure that
> 		      it can e.g. be savely used in a quoted-string as defined by RFC822. Additionally
> 		      &percnt;n will be replaced by a newline, &percnt;N by a tab. A &percnt; can be
> 		      printed by using &percnt;&percnt;.</para></listitem>

The distinction between "the name of the option" and "the complete
optionname" is a bit obscure; I've rephrased it as "its individual
name" and "its full hierarchical name", and fixed s/savely/safely/.

But what is that bit about uppercase letters and special characters
trying to say?  I don't see anything in RFC822's definition of
quoted-string about uppercase letters... how does the first clause of
that sentence relate to the rest?
-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
--- old/apt-config.8.xml	2012-05-21 10:41:17.000000000 +0100
+++ new/apt-config.8.xml	2012-05-25 00:28:28.795392739 +0100
@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@
    <para><command>apt-config</command> is an internal program used by various
    portions of the APT suite to provide consistent configurability. It accesses
    the main configuration file <filename>/etc/apt/apt.conf</filename> in a
-   manner that is easy to use by scripted applications.</para>
+   manner that is easy to use for scripted applications.</para>
 
    <para>Unless the <option>-h</option>, or <option>--help</option> option is
    given one of the commands below must be present.
@@ -51,8 +51,8 @@
      shell is used to access the configuration information from a shell 
      script. It is given pairs of arguments, the first being a shell 
      variable and the second the configuration value to query. As output 
-     it lists a series of shell assignments commands for each present value. 
-     In a shell script it should be used like:
+     it lists shell assignment commands for each value present. 
+     In a shell script it should be used as follows:
      </para>
      
 <informalexample><programlisting>
@@ -93,11 +93,11 @@
 
      <varlistentry>
       <term><option>--format '<replaceable>&percnt;f &#x0022;&percnt;v&#x0022;;&percnt;n</replaceable>'</option></term>
-      <listitem><para>Defines the output of each config option. &percnt;t will be replaced with the name of the option,
-		      &percnt;f with the complete optionname and &percnt;v with the value of the option.
+      <listitem><para>Defines the output of each config option. &percnt;t will be replaced with its individual name,
+		      &percnt;f with its full hierarchical name and &percnt;v with its value.
 		      Use uppercase letters and special characters in the value will be encoded to ensure that
-		      it can e.g. be savely used in a quoted-string as defined by RFC822. Additionally
-		      &percnt;n will be replaced by a newline, &percnt;N by a tab. A &percnt; can be
+		      it can e.g. be safely used in a quoted-string as defined by RFC822. Additionally
+		      &percnt;n will be replaced by a newline, and &percnt;N by a tab. A &percnt; can be
 		      printed by using &percnt;&percnt;.</para></listitem>
      </varlistentry>
 

Attachment: apt-config.8.xml
Description: application/xml


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