Re: unwritten "messages" was: On debian lists, we cc if asked
Hello MJR, all,
MJR, you asked for more information about what the problem is with your
posts, seeing as they are written in what is undeniably clear english.
I think that the problem is well illustrated by the language you are
using when you post to this list. I believe that you probably don't
intend to cause offence, and I also believe that some of the words
people are using to refer to your posts/actions also have the potential
to cause offence. But regardless of your probably good intent, you are
tending to use strong language when describing members of the
debian-women comunity, and this is producing a range of reactions that
are obviously bothering you.
Here's a summary of potentially offensive words used in the posts on
this thread to date (I've ignored a couple of potentially offensive
implications that weren't easily summarised in single words and quotes
from previously posted emails):
MJR, in 4 emails, refers to people on the debian-women list as:
People on the debian-women, in 7 emails, list refer to MJR as:
Now I don't think any of this language is particularly appropriate, but
in any case, it's clearly a bit one sided. On the whole it looks like
the people replying to MJR are being comparatively restrained.
Thankyou for those who are doing this.
It is a good idea in general to assume that someone did not mean to
cause offence by such actions as
* forgetting to CC someone who wasn't on the list (they may not be
familiar with mailing list ettiquette)
* referring to someone in language you find insulting (they may not
realise their words are potentially insulting, and cultural differences
may make some comments hard to interpret as they were intended)
A polite and gentle request to change the behaviour may work wonders in
such situations. Actually, I believe that most of us already understand
this perfectly well.
In that vein I suggest, as politely and nicely as I can, that people try
to refrain from using potentially insulting language to describe other
people, both in mailing list posts and on irc. If you can't help it,
try to refer to someone's actions rather than someone's person, eg: "I
felt offended by your action", rather than the more sweeping "you are
offensive". If you absolutely must write to someone in a potentially
insulting way, its a good idea to take it off the list, since the rest
of the list subscribers are probably not interested in watching people
insult each other.
Ladies and Gentlemen, let's all be civilised :)