Re: FW: Time for compassion and the Init GR
On 11/6/2014 4:55 PM, Andrei POPESCU wrote:
> ----- Forwarded message from Sam Hartman <hartmans@debian.org> -----
>
> Date: Thu, 6 Nov 2014 09:58:29 +0000
> From: Sam Hartman <hartmans@debian.org>
> To: debian-project@lists.debian.org
> Cc: debian-devel@lists.debian.org
> Subject: Time for compassion and the Init GR
> User-Agent: Gnus/5.13 (Gnus v5.13) Emacs/24.3 (gnu/linux)
>
>
> Early morning, Wednesday, November 19, the results of the GR on init
> system coupling will be announced.
> No result will make everyone happy. In fact, that morning, some of our
> developers, users and contributors will be really unhappy.
>
> I would be dishonest if I said I didn't hope to be happy and reassured that
> morning. I suspect we all hope that the project will agree with our
> position on this complex and emotionally intense issue and reassure us
> that our values are close to those of the project; reassure us that
> this is a place where we can safely work together.
>
> I don't know who, but I know that for some of the people I care about in
> the project--people whose opinion I value--that morning will bring
> disappointment, sadness, frustration and fear. I may well be one of
> those people.
>
> However, Wednesday November 19 and every day after, Debian needs to work
> together. Today, now, before the results are announced, we have an
> opportunity to extend compassion and empathy and remind ourselves of the
> spirit in which we'd like to work together.
>
> I'm hoping that we can all take a few minutes to gain empathy for those
> who disagree with us. Then I'm hoping we can use that understanding to
> reassure them that they are valued and respected and their concerns
> considered even when we end up strongly disagreeing with them or valuing
> different things. Towards that, I ask you to take a few minutes to
> consider how you will feel if the option other than further discussion
> that you least favor is selected by the project. Actually, for some of
> us, the prospect of months of further discussion of this issue itself is
> likely to have its own negative feelings. For the moment though, I ask
> that you focus on one of the other options.
>
> What do you feel? Disappointment that the project didn't value
> something important to you? Fear about whether Debian will meet your
> needs as an OS and community? Sadness? Frustration? Fear when you
> consider whether you'll be able to get your work done?
>
> What actions could other members of the project take to turn some of
> those feelings around without compromising their beliefs, changing their
> mind, or giving up on the values that are important to them? I'll
> answer this question for myself in a moment; if you cannot think of
> things that would help you, perhaps some of the things that would help
> me would also be valuable to you. If not, you could find someone you
> trust and value and work together to see what you could ask for to
> receive emotional care.
>
> It's almost certainly true that others in the project--people you have
> worked with over the years--will have similar feelings if their least
> favored option is selected. Some of those people probably disagree with
> you.
> I'd ask you to consider extending other members of the project the sort
> of care that will help you--the actions you were thinking about in the
> previous paragraph. My hope is that by doing so we can all treat each
> other with respect and value without compromising our positions. In
> many cases, it may make sense to extend that care now, to commit now to
> an attitude of care and respect even when we might be the ones needing
> that care in a couple of weeks.
>
> For myself, here are things that I'd really value in a situation where
> I'm feeling disappointed, sad and afraid that my values might not match
> the project's:
>
> * Not talking about these tradeoffs in terms of what's right and wrong,
> but acknowledging that different members of our project have different
> values. User choice isn't bad any more than combining software to
> reduce code size is bad. There isn't a right answer. As Russ has
> explained a number of times in the TC, on debian-vote and on his blog,
> this is about tradeoffs. I'm sure some people will be happy if the
> project's values are aligned with theirs. When they take that as far
> as saying the project made the "right decision" or rejected "bad
> options," they are not valuing the contributions of those who disagreed
> with them.
>
>
> * People who disagree with me taking the time to understand my
> position. "Hey, Sam, what you seem to be saying is this...for these
> reasons. Have I got it?" That is, people taking the time to make
> sure they understand me without trying to persuade me. I'm not asking
> for agreement, simply that I'm valued and my opinions are valued
> enough to read, understand and confirm that understanding. I feel
> reassured that someone took the time to consider what I had to say
> even if they came to a different conclusion.
>
> * When true, reassurances that we share common values even in situations
> where we disagree about how to balance tradeoffs.
>
> * Offers to work together/to listen to my opinions in future. "Hey,
> Sam, I
> realize the decision didn't go the way you were hoping, but I'm
> interested in figuring out how within the scope of what we did decide
> we can best address the concerns you had." I really hope that folks
> who value user choice will be willing to work with those who are
> trying to introduce improved ways of doing things regardless of what
> we decide.
>
>
> * Reassurances that I'm acting in good faith/that it's clear we're all
> working to build the best Debian we can even when we have different
> ideas of what that is.
>
>
> Don't be afraid to offer the sort of care that you'd like to receive in
> public mail. -project seems relatively quiet at the moment. Yeah,
> feel-good messages do take up space in the inbox. However, even if we
> managed to generate 1/100th the messages that this discussion has
> already taken reminding ourselves that we're a community, filled with
> heart-felt desires to respect and value each other, I think it will be
> worth it.
>
> Also, I understand that this issue is really important to a lot of us.
> I've heard implications from people on multiple sides of the issue that
> they are not sure they will be able to stay involved/contribute at their
> current level if it turns out their values and the project's values are
> significantly misaligned on this issue. I'm always sad when I hear
> that people feel the need to leave a community. Recently, I was really
> touched by a note about the importance of happiness. Unfortunately it
> was on debian-private so I cannot point to it here. I can say though
> I'd be even more sad to hear that someone stayed against the calling of
> their happiness than finding a community that is aligned with their
> values. Change happens. We refine our values as we grow. I for one am
> committed to respecting both Debian and any who choose to leave. I hope
> we treat each other with respect and value when our paths cross again.
> The free software community and the broader IT community are bigger
> places with room for a lot of values. If another project/community
> works better for you, I hope you find value in contributing there. I
> hope that project and Debian learn from each other, and I hope that the
> experience you found in Debian brings value to you in the future.
>
> Thanks for listening to me, and I hope that together we can reaffirm our
> commitment to our users and free software in a wonderful community.
>
>
>
> ----- End forwarded message -----
>
Unfortunately, from the tone of the message I can almost guess whet the
result of the GR will be. I hope I'm wrong - but if I'm not, it's going
to create a rift in debian users, and could well result in a fork and/or
large numbers of people abandoning Debian.
Jerry
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