confused on mailman

[Joe Mc Cool <joe@benburb.demon.co.uk>]

Please,

sarge, mailman, exim4:

all I wish to do is set up a simple mailing list for family use.  Any 
family subscriber can post a message and any family subscriber can 
respond.  Much like debian-user.

so far I have:

apt-get install mailman

I've read:

http://www.debian-administration.org/articles/108

and carried out all the instructions except adding the following lines 
to my apache config file:

   Alias /pipermail/ /var/lib/mailman/archives/public/

 Alias /images/mailman/ /usr/share/images/mailman/

1. I don't know where the apache config file lives and
2. I don't want the mail list archive to be public

I've added the aliases (manually - newlist does not add them) to 
/etc/aliases and I have run newaliases.  I have restarted mailman and exim4.

I can send mail to the list:
 
   ls | mail -s test sheep

and no errors are returned

similarly (as joe):

  ls | mail -s subscribe sheep-subscribe

returns no errors.  But I get no acknowledgement and subsequent mails to 
sheep are not mailed to me as a subscriber.

Confused :-(   I need an idiots guide.

Joe