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mysql trouble

Hi all,
I'm new to this list and have a concern with  mysql-server running on debian 
the problem is connecting to the mysql server in my home lan from
trying to connect from a client results in:
error 2003: can't connect to mysql server (111)
whereas doing the same on the server works ok.
meanwhile I've narrowed this down to be a concern with
inetd - I figured out that I had to enable mysql service
on port 3306 somehow.
so I put this line in /etc/inetd.conf:
mysql   stream  tcp     nowait  mysql   /usr/sbin/tcpd  /usr/sbin/mysqld
after that, nmap shows mysql listening on port 3306, but client connection
doesn't work anyway - now mysql just sits there and does nothing upon
login attempt.
I suppose something is wrong with my inetd.conf entry.
so I tried next in inetd.conf:
mysql   stream  tcp     nowait  mysql   /usr/sbin/mysqld
this is the result:
ERROR 2013: Lost connection to MySQL server during query

anyone knows ?

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