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Re: End of Debconf press release

On 2012-07-15 01:12, Neil McGovern wrote:
I've submitted this to

Reviews and translations would be great.


Thank you Neil. The current version can be browsed using http://anonscm.debian.org/viewvc/publicity/announcements/en/2012/2012-07-16-debconf-ends.wml?revision=4047&view=co
Here are my remarks:

This year's DebConf in Managua not only took Debian to a new part of the world
which is too little visited by major Free Software events, allowing the project
to reach out to new contributors and learn new perspectives, but also to
continue its hard work towards the next stable release of Debian.

This sentence is long. "Not only" should be followed by a counterpart found shortly after the first part (usually in the same sentence or in the next sentence, but in any case in the same paragraph). "Not only did I win, but I beat the record!"

Gaudenz Steinlin, DebConf organiser said:

A comma should be added after "organiser".

DebConf in 2012 will be held in Le Camp, Vaumarcus, Switzerland which will
again be a great opportunity to advance the development of Debian.

A comma should be added after "Switzerland".

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