Re: First draft (was Re: we need a release announcement -- soon [source material])
Some minor comments:
On Mon, 7 Aug 2000, Chris Lawrence wrote:
> accordingly, we believe Debian 2.2 is the best-tested Linux
> distribution ever.
Why not just "is an extremely well-tested Linux distribution"? I think
we don't need to do comparisons in the press release.
> + reportbug - A tool to report problems in the first place.
s/in the first place//
> + zope - A web application platform suited to developing
> dynamic web sites, such as portals and weblogs.
Digital Creations defines Zope as a "web application server". It might be
wiser to use their terminology.
> + gnome-napster, gnapster, gnap - Three Napster implementations
> for all your RIAA-defying needs.
s/for all your RIAA-defying needs//
> + Last, but not least: 56 new games!
I'm religiously against exclamantion marks. Do you really think the
exclamation mark will impress anyone? I'm more impressed by the number
<wink>
> + Python 1.5.2 - Another popular scripting language
s/Another/A/
Additionally, no one in Python lands defines Python as a "scripting"
language -- the popular time is "A high-level interpreted language".
> Debian 2.2 also includes support for two new architectures, PowerPC
> and ARM; with this addition, Debian now runs on six architectures,
> more than any other Linux distribution.
Again, I'd lose the "more then any other Linux distribution" part.
> new package, called base-config, and has a more appealing interface
> based around our debconf system.
I'm not a native English speaker, but I think "based on" is preferred to
"based around".
Thanks a lot for the work on the first draft!
--
Moshe Zadka <moshez@math.huji.ac.il>
There is no IGLU cabal.
http://advogato.org/person/moshez
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