Re: When a discussion goes bad...
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MJ Ray wrote:
> Jonas Smedegaard <dr@jones.dk> wrote [quoted with permission]:
>> [...] I kept repeating same argument, which X
>> refused to accept. Each time I repeated, I raised my voice a bit,
>
> Just an aside for future reference: unless the other person is hard of
> hearing, I can't see that approach ending well. If one can't explain
> it any way that the other person will accept, then I think there comes
> a point when one should reply:
>
> 1/ "let's see what Joe thinks" - involve someone who understands your
> view, who will hopefully feed back to you more reasonably if the other
> person has a valid point;
>
> 2/ "the solution must do Y" - challenge them directly to produce a
> solution which meets your criteria; and/or
>
> 3/ "I'm here, so I win" - pull rank, then shut up and endure the flames.
Thanks. That is a fine listing.
For the concrete case, I'd already practiced both 1/ and 2/ on IRC for
months. 2/ had been turned down (repeatingly and insistingly, to put it
mildly) as incompetence on my part. We then met in person, only to be
nagged with same claim of incompetence and insisting on fixing my
mistakes, which made me loose my temper and yell. For the remains of the
4 day meeting I practiced 3/.
- Jonas
- --
* Jonas Smedegaard - idealist og Internet-arkitekt
* Tlf.: +45 40843136 Website: http://dr.jones.dk/
- Enden er nær: http://www.shibumi.org/eoti.htm
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