release-notes: proofreading sweep - whats-new.dbk
Package: release-notes
Severity: wishlist
Tags: patch
The one I almost forgot, which fortunately is only wishlist
English language/style changes
Index: whats-new.dbk
===================================================================
--- whats-new.dbk (revision 11552)
+++ whats-new.dbk (working copy)
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@
</itemizedlist>
<para>
- Debian &release; regrettably remove support for the following architecture:
+ Debian &release; regrettably removes support for the following architecture:
</para>
<itemizedlist>
<listitem>
English number agreement.
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@
The 32-bit PC support (known as the Debian architecture
<literal>i386</literal>) now no longer covers a plain i586
processor. The new baseline is the i686, although some i586
- processors (e.g. the "AMD Geode") will remain supported.
+ processors (e.g. the <quote>AMD Geode</quote>) will remain supported.
</para>
<para>
Please refer to <xref linkend="i386-is-now-almost-i686"/> for
Avoid ASCII quotes, here and repeatedly below.
@@ -445,7 +445,7 @@
<title>MariaDB replaces MySQL</title>
<para>
MariaDB is now the default MySQL variant in Debian, at version 10.1.
- The &Releasename; release introduces a new mechanism for switching the
+ The &releasename; release introduces a new mechanism for switching the
default variant, using metapackages created from the
<systemitem role="package">mysql-defaults</systemitem> source package.
For example, installing the metapackage
Releasenames are lowercase (and the &-entities are unhelpful in this
file, but never mind).
@@ -481,25 +481,25 @@
</section>
<section id="apt-improvements">
- <title>Improvements to apt and archive layouts</title>
+ <title>Improvements to APT and archive layouts</title>
Through all of this I'm capitalising the brandname of the "suite" as
opposed to the package or command (which should get their own markup).
<para>
The <systemitem role="package">apt</systemitem> package manager
has seen a number of improvements since jessie. Most of these
apply to <systemitem role="package">aptitude</systemitem> as well.
- The following is a selected highlight of some of these.
+ Following are selected highlights of some of these.
Multiple highlights.
</para>
<para>
- On the security side, apt now rejects weaker checksums by default
+ On the security side, APT now rejects weaker checksums by default
(e.g. SHA1) and attempts to download as an unprivileged user.
Please refer to <xref linkend="apt-new-requirements-to-mirrors" />
and <xref linkend="apt-unpriv-acquire" /> for more information.
</para>
<para>
- The apt-based package managers have also gotten a number of
- improvements that will remove the annoying "hash sum mismatch"
+ The APT-based package managers have also gotten a number of
+ improvements that will remove the annoying <quote>hash sum mismatch</quote>
warning that occurs when running apt during a mirror
- synchronisation. This happens via the new
- <literal>by-hash</literal> layout, which enables apt to download
+ synchronization. This happens via the new
+ <literal>by-hash</literal> layout, which enables APT to download
metadata files by their content hash.
</para>
<para>
en-US -ization to go with en-US "gotten".
@@ -512,10 +512,10 @@
format description</ulink>
</para>
<para>
- While possibly mostly interesting for mirror administrators, apt
- in stretch can use DNS (SRV) records to locate a HTTP backend.
+ While this may be mostly interesting for mirror administrators, APT
+ in stretch can use DNS (SRV) records to locate an HTTP backend.
It's not saying that APT is uninteresting to normal users, just that
this following news-item might be. Then HTTP begins with a vowel
sound.
This is useful for providing a simple DNS name and then managing
- backends via DNS rather than using a "redirector" service. This
+ backends via DNS rather than using a <quote>redirector</quote> service. This
feature is also used by the new Debian mirror described in <xref
linkend="deb-debian-org-mirror" />.
</para>
@@ -531,9 +531,9 @@
under a single easy to remember hostname.
</para>
<para>
- This service relies on the new DNS support in apt, but will
- fallback to a regular redirect for HTTPS access or older versions
- of apt. More details are provided on <ulink
+ This service relies on the new DNS support in APT, but will
+ fall back to a regular redirect for HTTPS access or older versions
+ of APT. More details are provided on <ulink
url="https://deb.debian.org";>deb.debian.org</ulink>.
</para>
<para>
One-word noun ("a fallback"), two-word verb ("to fall back, falling
back").
@@ -546,7 +546,7 @@
<title>Move to "Modern" GnuPG</title>
<para>
The stretch release is the first version of Debian to feature the
- "Modern" branch of GnuPG in the <systemitem
+ <quote>modern</quote> branch of GnuPG in the <systemitem
role="package">gnupg</systemitem> package. This brings with it
elliptic curve cryptography, better defaults, a more modular
architecture, and improved smartcard support. The modern branch
While I'm fixing the quotes, make it consistently lowercase.
@@ -556,7 +556,7 @@
information.
</para>
<para>
- We will continue to supply the "classic" branch of GnuPG as
+ We will continue to supply the <quote>classic</quote> branch of GnuPG as
<systemitem role="package">gnupg1</systemitem> for people who need
it, but it is now deprecated.
</para>
@@ -572,16 +572,16 @@
</para>
</note>
<para>
- Previously, the main debian archive would include packages
+ Previously, the main Debian archive would include packages
This might alternatively go in quotes like "debian-debug" below.
containg debug symbols for selected libraries or programs. With
stretch, most of these have been moved to a separate archive
- called the "debian-debug" archive. This archive contains the
+ called the <quote>debian-debug</quote> archive. This archive contains the
debug symbol packages for the vast majority of all packages
provided by Debian.
</para>
<para>
If you want to fetch such debug packages, please include the following
- in your apt sources: <screen>
+ in your APT sources: <screen>
deb http://debug.mirrors.debian.org/debian-debug/ stretch-debug main
</screen>
Alternatively, you can also fetch them from <ulink
@@ -604,7 +604,7 @@
<para>
The installer and newly installed systems will use a new standard
naming scheme for network interfaces instead of <literal>eth0</literal>,
- <literal>eth1</literal> etc.
+ <literal>eth1</literal>, etc.
The old naming method suffered from enumeration race conditions
that made it possible for interface names to change unexpectedly
and is incompatible with mounting the root filesystem read-only.
Harvard comma to match the other iteration of this text.
@@ -617,7 +617,7 @@
will have names based upon their ethernet MAC addresses.
</para>
<para>
- This change does not apply to upgrades of jessie systems,
+ This change does not apply to upgrades of jessie systems;
the naming will continue to be enforced by
<filename>/etc/udev/rules.d/70-persistent-net.rules</filename>.
For more information, see
Fixing a run-on sentence with stronger punctuation.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
Index: whats-new.dbk
===================================================================
--- whats-new.dbk (revision 11552)
+++ whats-new.dbk (working copy)
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@
</itemizedlist>
<para>
- Debian &release; regrettably remove support for the following architecture:
+ Debian &release; regrettably removes support for the following architecture:
</para>
<itemizedlist>
<listitem>
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@
The 32-bit PC support (known as the Debian architecture
<literal>i386</literal>) now no longer covers a plain i586
processor. The new baseline is the i686, although some i586
- processors (e.g. the "AMD Geode") will remain supported.
+ processors (e.g. the <quote>AMD Geode</quote>) will remain supported.
</para>
<para>
Please refer to <xref linkend="i386-is-now-almost-i686"/> for
@@ -445,7 +445,7 @@
<title>MariaDB replaces MySQL</title>
<para>
MariaDB is now the default MySQL variant in Debian, at version 10.1.
- The &Releasename; release introduces a new mechanism for switching the
+ The &releasename; release introduces a new mechanism for switching the
default variant, using metapackages created from the
<systemitem role="package">mysql-defaults</systemitem> source package.
For example, installing the metapackage
@@ -481,25 +481,25 @@
</section>
<section id="apt-improvements">
- <title>Improvements to apt and archive layouts</title>
+ <title>Improvements to APT and archive layouts</title>
<para>
The <systemitem role="package">apt</systemitem> package manager
has seen a number of improvements since jessie. Most of these
apply to <systemitem role="package">aptitude</systemitem> as well.
- The following is a selected highlight of some of these.
+ Following are selected highlights of some of these.
</para>
<para>
- On the security side, apt now rejects weaker checksums by default
+ On the security side, APT now rejects weaker checksums by default
(e.g. SHA1) and attempts to download as an unprivileged user.
Please refer to <xref linkend="apt-new-requirements-to-mirrors" />
and <xref linkend="apt-unpriv-acquire" /> for more information.
</para>
<para>
- The apt-based package managers have also gotten a number of
- improvements that will remove the annoying "hash sum mismatch"
+ The APT-based package managers have also gotten a number of
+ improvements that will remove the annoying <quote>hash sum mismatch</quote>
warning that occurs when running apt during a mirror
- synchronisation. This happens via the new
- <literal>by-hash</literal> layout, which enables apt to download
+ synchronization. This happens via the new
+ <literal>by-hash</literal> layout, which enables APT to download
metadata files by their content hash.
</para>
<para>
@@ -512,10 +512,10 @@
format description</ulink>
</para>
<para>
- While possibly mostly interesting for mirror administrators, apt
- in stretch can use DNS (SRV) records to locate a HTTP backend.
+ While this may be mostly interesting for mirror administrators, APT
+ in stretch can use DNS (SRV) records to locate an HTTP backend.
This is useful for providing a simple DNS name and then managing
- backends via DNS rather than using a "redirector" service. This
+ backends via DNS rather than using a <quote>redirector</quote> service. This
feature is also used by the new Debian mirror described in <xref
linkend="deb-debian-org-mirror" />.
</para>
@@ -531,9 +531,9 @@
under a single easy to remember hostname.
</para>
<para>
- This service relies on the new DNS support in apt, but will
- fallback to a regular redirect for HTTPS access or older versions
- of apt. More details are provided on <ulink
+ This service relies on the new DNS support in APT, but will
+ fall back to a regular redirect for HTTPS access or older versions
+ of APT. More details are provided on <ulink
url="https://deb.debian.org";>deb.debian.org</ulink>.
</para>
<para>
@@ -546,7 +546,7 @@
<title>Move to "Modern" GnuPG</title>
<para>
The stretch release is the first version of Debian to feature the
- "Modern" branch of GnuPG in the <systemitem
+ <quote>modern</quote> branch of GnuPG in the <systemitem
role="package">gnupg</systemitem> package. This brings with it
elliptic curve cryptography, better defaults, a more modular
architecture, and improved smartcard support. The modern branch
@@ -556,7 +556,7 @@
information.
</para>
<para>
- We will continue to supply the "classic" branch of GnuPG as
+ We will continue to supply the <quote>classic</quote> branch of GnuPG as
<systemitem role="package">gnupg1</systemitem> for people who need
it, but it is now deprecated.
</para>
@@ -572,16 +572,16 @@
</para>
</note>
<para>
- Previously, the main debian archive would include packages
+ Previously, the main Debian archive would include packages
containg debug symbols for selected libraries or programs. With
stretch, most of these have been moved to a separate archive
- called the "debian-debug" archive. This archive contains the
+ called the <quote>debian-debug</quote> archive. This archive contains the
debug symbol packages for the vast majority of all packages
provided by Debian.
</para>
<para>
If you want to fetch such debug packages, please include the following
- in your apt sources: <screen>
+ in your APT sources: <screen>
deb http://debug.mirrors.debian.org/debian-debug/ stretch-debug main
</screen>
Alternatively, you can also fetch them from <ulink
@@ -604,7 +604,7 @@
<para>
The installer and newly installed systems will use a new standard
naming scheme for network interfaces instead of <literal>eth0</literal>,
- <literal>eth1</literal> etc.
+ <literal>eth1</literal>, etc.
The old naming method suffered from enumeration race conditions
that made it possible for interface names to change unexpectedly
and is incompatible with mounting the root filesystem read-only.
@@ -617,7 +617,7 @@
will have names based upon their ethernet MAC addresses.
</para>
<para>
- This change does not apply to upgrades of jessie systems,
+ This change does not apply to upgrades of jessie systems;
the naming will continue to be enforced by
<filename>/etc/udev/rules.d/70-persistent-net.rules</filename>.
For more information, see
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