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release-notes: proofreading sweep - about.dbk



Package: release-notes
Severity: wishlist
Tags: patch

Just to get the ball rolling here's a commented diff on one of the
files that has least need for proofreading.  All I've got to suggest
are two very low-priority stylistic improvements.

 Index: about.dbk
 ===================================================================
 --- about.dbk	(revision 11524)
 +++ about.dbk	(working copy)
 @@ -51,7 +51,7 @@
  please file a bug in the <ulink url="&url-bts;">bug tracking
  system</ulink> against the <systemitem
  role="package">release-notes</systemitem> package. You
 -might want to review first the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
 +might first want to review the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
  reports</ulink> in case the issue you've found has already been reported. Feel
  free to add additional information to existing bug reports if you can
  contribute content for this document.

(This feels like a clumsy attempt to avoid a "split infinitive", but
in fact the way I'd naturally phrase it is like this, which avoids the
issue anyway.)

 @@ -132,7 +132,7 @@
      <emphasis>Debian Documentation Project</emphasis>.  You can use
      the <ulink url="&url-svn-release-notes;">web interface</ulink> to
      access its files individually through the web and see their
 -    changes.  For more information on how to access the SVN please
 +    changes.  For more information on how to access SVN please
      consult the <ulink url="&url-ddp-svn-info;">Debian Documentation
      Project SVN information pages</ulink>.
    </para>

I suppose developers may feel differently about this, but I wouldn't
naturally refer to a particular version control repository as "the"
SVN any more than I'd talk about checking something out of a git.

(The "Debian Documentation Project SVN information pages" also mention
git; is this SVN-only coverage in the release-notes still true or does
it need an update?)
-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
Index: about.dbk
===================================================================
--- about.dbk	(revision 11524)
+++ about.dbk	(working copy)
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@
 please file a bug in the <ulink url="&url-bts;">bug tracking
 system</ulink> against the <systemitem
 role="package">release-notes</systemitem> package. You
-might want to review first the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
+might first want to review the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
 reports</ulink> in case the issue you've found has already been reported. Feel
 free to add additional information to existing bug reports if you can
 contribute content for this document.
@@ -132,7 +132,7 @@
     <emphasis>Debian Documentation Project</emphasis>.  You can use
     the <ulink url="&url-svn-release-notes;">web interface</ulink> to
     access its files individually through the web and see their
-    changes.  For more information on how to access the SVN please
+    changes.  For more information on how to access SVN please
     consult the <ulink url="&url-ddp-svn-info;">Debian Documentation
     Project SVN information pages</ulink>.
   </para>

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