On Friday 03 June 2016, at 15:53 +0100, Justin B Rye wrote: Hi, > > > > +< > > <p>The <tt>AAA</tt> component identifies the processor for which > > -the package was built. This is commonly <tt>i386</tt>, which refers to > > -chips compatible to Intel's 386 or later versions. For other [snip] > The content's good, but what's that extra "<"? Something that slipped unintentionally. I will correct it. > [...] > > @@ -196,7 +200,7 @@ > > package <tt>foo</tt> once <tt>foo</tt> has been unpacked from its Debian > > archive (".deb") file. Often, 'postinst' scripts ask the user for input, > > and/or warn the user that if he accepts default values, he should remember > > - to go back and re-configure that package as the situation warrants. > > + to go back and re-configure that package as needed. > > Many 'postinst' scripts then execute any commands necessary to start or > > restart a service once a new package has been installed or upgraded. > > I'd like to suggest a change to the start of that sentence: > > Often, 'postinst' scripts ask users for input, > and/or warn them that if they accept default values, they should remember > to go back and re-configure that package as needed. > I will incorporate this and your other suggestions/corrections in a new patch, so that Holger can work on a cleaner patch. > > @@ -275,7 +283,7 @@ > > <p>A virtual package is a generic name that applies to any one of a group > > of packages, all of which provide similar basic functionality. For example, > > both the <tt>tin</tt> and <tt>trn</tt> programs are news readers, and > > -should therefore satisfy any dependency of a program that required a news > > +should therefore satisfy any dependency of a program that requires a news > > reader on a system, in order to work or to be useful. > > They are therefore both said to provide the "virtual package" called > > <tt>news-reader</tt>. > > Given that trn is non-free, I would suggest instead mentioning slrn or > knews. Or given that twentyfirst-century newbies may never have heard > of USENET news groups, perhaps we should use a different example > virtual package, such as "editor" or "www-browser". OK. I will change the example to use www-browser and konqueror/firefox-esr as packages. > [...] > > Index: redist.sgml > > =================================================================== > > --- redist.sgml (revisione 11198) > > +++ redist.sgml (copia locale) > > @@ -36,9 +36,9 @@ > > > > <p>Yes. Debian-derived distributions are being created both in close > > cooperation with the Debian project itself and by external parties. One can > > -use the <url id="http://cdd.alioth.debian.org/" name="Custom Debian > > -Distributions"> framework to work together with Debian; <url > > -id="http://www.skolelinux.org/" name="Skolelinux"> is one such project. > > +use the <url id="https://www.debian.org/blends/" name="Debian > > +Pure Blends"> framework to work together with Debian; <url > > +id="https://wiki.debian.org/DebianEdu/" name="DebianEdu/Skolelinux"> is one such project. > > > > <p>There are several other Debian-derived distributions already on the market, > > such as Progeny Debian, Linspire, Knoppix and Ubuntu, that are targeted at a > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^ > "Progeny Linux" vanished nine years ago, and "Linspire" eight years > ago. Maybe Linux Mint and Raspbian? Or grml? based on the info in https://www.debian.org/misc/children-distros.en.html, I will change my proposal to "...such as grml, LMDE (Linux Mint Debian Edition), Knoppix and Ubuntu..." > [...] > > @@ -168,11 +168,11 @@ > > engine for newsgroups. > > > > <p>For example, to find out what experiences people have had with > > - finding drivers for Promise controllers under Debian, try searching on > > + finding drivers for Promise controllers under Debian, try searching > > the phrase <tt>Promise Linux driver</tt>. This will show you all the > > - postings that contain these strings, i.e. those where people discussed > > + posts that contain these strings, i.e. those where people discussed > > these topics. If you add <tt>Debian</tt> to those search strings, you'll > > - also get the postings specifically related to Debian. > > + also get the posts specifically related to Debian. > > This is distinctly cobwebby - when I ask Google I find ten-year-old > books advising me that the best way to use Promise RAID controllers > even then was to use the standard open-source drivers in the mainline > kernel. > > Plus, advising people to use Google Groups seems cruel. "cobwebby" is a new word for me :) maybe changing "Promise controllers" with NVIDIA graphic card? anyway I don't think that the object of the search counts much, but rather the suggestion on how to do the search. As for the cruelty of suggesting Google Groups, I imagine Google Groups (and USENET in general) are not as used today as they were in the past. Still I think Google Groups indexes many newsgroups. I don't feel comfortable in removing the suggestion and I'll let one of the main authors of the document decide on this regard. > > > <item>Any of the common web spidering engines, such as > > <url id="http://www.altavista.com/" name="AltaVista"> or > > Alterswissenschaft? I would suggest DuckDuckGo. I will change that in my new proposal. > > > @@ -179,7 +179,7 @@ > > <url id="http://www.google.com/" name="Google">, as long as you use > > the right search terms. > > > > - <p>For example, searching on the string "cgi-perl" gives a more detailed > > + <p>For example, searching the string "cgi-perl" gives a more detailed > > explanation of this package than the brief description field in its > > control file. > > </list> > > Oh, no, leave this. "Searching on" a string means using that string > as your search term (which is what's intended here); "searching" a > string would mean performing a search that goes through the string > looking for something. OK, thanks > Except that it's also cobwebby - libcgi-perl hasn't been a package > since round about Sarge. cobwebby again :) - I will replace it with evince (the first package that came to mind). Thanks, beatrice.
Description: PGP signature