On Friday 03 June 2016, at 15:53 +0100, Justin B Rye wrote:
Hi,
> >
> > +<
> > <p>The <tt>AAA</tt> component identifies the processor for which
> > -the package was built. This is commonly <tt>i386</tt>, which refers to
> > -chips compatible to Intel's 386 or later versions. For other
[snip]
> The content's good, but what's that extra "<"?
Something that slipped unintentionally. I will correct it.
> [...]
> > @@ -196,7 +200,7 @@
> > package <tt>foo</tt> once <tt>foo</tt> has been unpacked from its Debian
> > archive (".deb") file. Often, 'postinst' scripts ask the user for input,
> > and/or warn the user that if he accepts default values, he should remember
> > - to go back and re-configure that package as the situation warrants.
> > + to go back and re-configure that package as needed.
> > Many 'postinst' scripts then execute any commands necessary to start or
> > restart a service once a new package has been installed or upgraded.
>
> I'd like to suggest a change to the start of that sentence:
>
> Often, 'postinst' scripts ask users for input,
> and/or warn them that if they accept default values, they should remember
> to go back and re-configure that package as needed.
>
I will incorporate this and your other suggestions/corrections in a new
patch, so that Holger can work on a cleaner patch.
> > @@ -275,7 +283,7 @@
> > <p>A virtual package is a generic name that applies to any one of a group
> > of packages, all of which provide similar basic functionality. For example,
> > both the <tt>tin</tt> and <tt>trn</tt> programs are news readers, and
> > -should therefore satisfy any dependency of a program that required a news
> > +should therefore satisfy any dependency of a program that requires a news
> > reader on a system, in order to work or to be useful.
> > They are therefore both said to provide the "virtual package" called
> > <tt>news-reader</tt>.
>
> Given that trn is non-free, I would suggest instead mentioning slrn or
> knews. Or given that twentyfirst-century newbies may never have heard
> of USENET news groups, perhaps we should use a different example
> virtual package, such as "editor" or "www-browser".
OK. I will change the example to use www-browser and
konqueror/firefox-esr as packages.
> [...]
> > Index: redist.sgml
> > ===================================================================
> > --- redist.sgml (revisione 11198)
> > +++ redist.sgml (copia locale)
> > @@ -36,9 +36,9 @@
> >
> > <p>Yes. Debian-derived distributions are being created both in close
> > cooperation with the Debian project itself and by external parties. One can
> > -use the <url id="http://cdd.alioth.debian.org/"; name="Custom Debian
> > -Distributions"> framework to work together with Debian; <url
> > -id="http://www.skolelinux.org/"; name="Skolelinux"> is one such project.
> > +use the <url id="https://www.debian.org/blends/"; name="Debian
> > +Pure Blends"> framework to work together with Debian; <url
> > +id="https://wiki.debian.org/DebianEdu/"; name="DebianEdu/Skolelinux"> is one such project.
> >
> > <p>There are several other Debian-derived distributions already on the market,
> > such as Progeny Debian, Linspire, Knoppix and Ubuntu, that are targeted at a
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^
> "Progeny Linux" vanished nine years ago, and "Linspire" eight years
> ago. Maybe Linux Mint and Raspbian? Or grml?
based on the info in
https://www.debian.org/misc/children-distros.en.html, I will change my
proposal to "...such as grml, LMDE (Linux Mint Debian Edition), Knoppix
and Ubuntu..."
> [...]
> > @@ -168,11 +168,11 @@
> > engine for newsgroups.
> >
> > <p>For example, to find out what experiences people have had with
> > - finding drivers for Promise controllers under Debian, try searching on
> > + finding drivers for Promise controllers under Debian, try searching
> > the phrase <tt>Promise Linux driver</tt>. This will show you all the
> > - postings that contain these strings, i.e. those where people discussed
> > + posts that contain these strings, i.e. those where people discussed
> > these topics. If you add <tt>Debian</tt> to those search strings, you'll
> > - also get the postings specifically related to Debian.
> > + also get the posts specifically related to Debian.
>
> This is distinctly cobwebby - when I ask Google I find ten-year-old
> books advising me that the best way to use Promise RAID controllers
> even then was to use the standard open-source drivers in the mainline
> kernel.
>
> Plus, advising people to use Google Groups seems cruel.
"cobwebby" is a new word for me :)
maybe changing "Promise controllers" with NVIDIA graphic card? anyway I
don't think that the object of the search counts much, but rather the
suggestion on how to do the search.
As for the cruelty of suggesting Google Groups, I imagine Google Groups
(and USENET in general) are not as used today as they were in the
past. Still I think Google Groups indexes many newsgroups. I don't feel
comfortable in removing the suggestion and I'll let one of the main
authors of the document decide on this regard.
>
> > <item>Any of the common web spidering engines, such as
> > <url id="http://www.altavista.com/"; name="AltaVista"> or
>
> Alterswissenschaft? I would suggest DuckDuckGo.
I will change that in my new proposal.
>
> > @@ -179,7 +179,7 @@
> > <url id="http://www.google.com/"; name="Google">, as long as you use
> > the right search terms.
> >
> > - <p>For example, searching on the string "cgi-perl" gives a more detailed
> > + <p>For example, searching the string "cgi-perl" gives a more detailed
> > explanation of this package than the brief description field in its
> > control file.
> > </list>
>
> Oh, no, leave this. "Searching on" a string means using that string
> as your search term (which is what's intended here); "searching" a
> string would mean performing a search that goes through the string
> looking for something.
OK, thanks
> Except that it's also cobwebby - libcgi-perl hasn't been a package
> since round about Sarge.
cobwebby again :) - I will replace it with evince (the first package
that came to mind).
Thanks,
beatrice.
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