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Re: Help Wanted: refine the description of Seafile



Shuai Lin wrote:
> I am a developer of seafile, an open source alternative to dropbox. For details
> of seafile, see the links [0], [1], [2].
> 
> Recently I am preparing the debian package of seafile client, and as I am not
> so good at English writing, I want help from someone here to refine the wording
> of the packge descrption. The current description can be found in the debian/
> control file in [3].
> 
> Anybody here can help me? 

Okay, here's a review:

# Package: seafile-client
#[...]
# Description: Client of seafile, an online file storage and collaboration tool

No need to capitalise "Client".  And at least in English, it's obvious
what seafile-client is a client for.  I would suggest:

  Description: online file storage and collaboration tool - client

and then for seafile-server it's "- server", and so on.

#  Seafile enables you to build private cloud for file sharing and collaboration
#  among team members in your company/organization. This is the Linux desktop
#  client of the seafile system.

One factual question: does it run on Debian GNU/kFreeBSD?  If it
doesn't, it should be "Architecture: linux-any"; if it does, it
shouldn't specify "Linux".  (In fact there's no real reason to mention
Linux here anyway, since obviously the Debian package doesn't contain
the Win32 client...)

If I shorten it down to this I don't seem to have lost anything:

   This package provides a desktop client for Seafile, a tool for building
   private clouds for file sharing and collaboration among team members.

#  .
#  First you create a file library in the web and upload files to it. Then you
#  share it into a team or with another user.

All this use of "you" is grammatical, but it wouldn't be much use if
*only* "you" (the root-privileged sysadmin installing the package)
could use it...

   Users first create a file library on the web and upload files to it.
   Then they can share it with other users or teams.

Or taking an alternative phrasing from the web:

   Then they can share it with friends or colleagues.

#  .
#  File libraries can also be synchronized among computers and mobile devices. You
#  download a library to your PC. Whenever you add, delete or edit a file, the
#  latest version be uploaded to the server automatically and then be synchronized
#  to everyone's computer.

(Does it really mean that you would download the whole "library" in
order to edit one individual file?)

   File libraries can also be synchronized among computers and mobile
   devices. Whenever a file is added, deleted, or modified in a downloaded
   file library, Seafile automatically uploads the latest version to the
   server and then synchronizes it to everyone's computer.

(Or should that last word be "computers"?  That's what I would
normally expect in English, but here for some reason singular feels
more natural.)
-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
--- control.old	2013-02-02 10:29:48.802323401 +0000
+++ control.new	2013-02-02 10:29:21.511171164 +0000
@@ -29,15 +29,14 @@
 	python-webpy,
 	python-mako,
 	python-simplejson
-Description: Client of seafile, an online file storage and collaboration tool
- Seafile enables you to build private cloud for file sharing and collaboration
- among team members in your company/organization. This is the Linux desktop
- client of the seafile system.
+Description: online file storage and collaboration tool - client
+ This package provides a desktop client for Seafile, a tool for building
+ private clouds for file sharing and collaboration among team members.
  .
- First you create a file library in the web and upload files to it. Then you
- share it into a team or with another user.
+ Users first create a file library on the web and upload files to it.
+ Then they can share it with friends or colleagues.
  .
- File libraries can also be synchronized among computers and mobile devices. You
- download a library to your PC. Whenever you add, delete or edit a file, the
- latest version be uploaded to the server automatically and then be synchronized
- to everyone's computer.
+ File libraries can also be synchronized among computers and mobile
+ devices. Whenever a file is added, deleted, or modified in a downloaded
+ file library, Seafile automatically uploads the latest version to the
+ server and then synchronizes it to everyone's computer.
Source: seafile-client
Section: net
Priority: extra
Maintainer: Lingtao Pan <freeplant@gmail.com>
Build-Depends:
	debhelper (>= 7),
	autotools-dev,
	libssl-dev,
	libsqlite3-dev,
	intltool,
	libglib2.0-dev,
	libevent-dev,
	uuid-dev,
	libgtk2.0-dev
Standards-Version: 3.9.4
Homepage: http://seafile.com

Package: seafile-client
Architecture: any
Depends:
	${shlibs:Depends},
	${misc:Depends},
	libglib2.0-0,
	libgtk2.0-0 (>= 2.16.0),
	libsqlite3-0,
	libuuid1,
	libssl0.9.8 | libssl1.0.0,
	libevent-2.0-5,
	python-webpy,
	python-mako,
	python-simplejson
Description: online file storage and collaboration tool - client
 This package provides a desktop client for Seafile, a tool for building
 private clouds for file sharing and collaboration among team members.
 .
 Users first create a file library on the web and upload files to it.
 Then they can share it with friends or colleagues.
 .
 File libraries can also be synchronized among computers and mobile
 devices. Whenever a file is added, deleted, or modified in a downloaded
 file library, Seafile automatically uploads the latest version to the
 server and then synchronizes it to everyone's computer.

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