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Re: Review of trophy package description



Suddenly it's a busy day on d-l-e!

Andreas Moog wrote:
> I am the maintainer of the "trophy" package and have been asked to
> improve my package description.
> 
> This is the current description:
> 
> Description: 2D car racing action game
> Trophy is a single-player racing game for Linux. Even though the goal is
> basically to finish the laps as the first, Trophy is an action game
> which offers much more than just a race. Lots of extras enable "unusual"
> features for races such as shooting, putting mines and many others.
> 
> This package contains the executable.

Pretty good, but it has a couple of slightly unidiomatic phrasings;
probably s/as the first/in first place/, possibly s/extras/bonuses/,
and definitely s/putting/laying/.

Also, you can drop "for Linux"!

> I was thinking about changing the description to:
> 
> Description: 2D car racing action game
> Trophy is a single-player racing game for Linux, which combines elements
> from traditional race and action games. Lots of available extras enable
> features such as shooting, mines, barrels and many others.
> 
> This package contains the executable.
> 
> Does that look like a OK description?

Even better, though I'd shuffle the commas slightly:

  Description: 2D car racing action game
  Trophy is a single-player racing game which combines elements from
  traditional race and action games. Lots of available bonuses enable
  features such as shooting, mines, barrels, and many others.
  .
  This package contains the executable.

> The upstream description is at
> http://trophy.sourceforge.net/index.php?body=about

Let them know it installs (and seems to be running happily) on my
Debian GNU/kFreeBSD Wheezy testbed!
-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package


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