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Re: Mini-DebConf India: review needed for /events/ page text



Francesca Ciceri wrote:
> I've just added the page about the Mini-DebConf India on the /events/
> section of www.debian.org [1].

# VALU (VIT Active Linux Users) and CoFSUG (COEP Free Software Users
# Group) are organizing a Mini-DebConf at Pune, India. This event will
# welcome everyone with an interest in the Debian project for a series
# of talks and workshops about Debian. The main goal of this event is
# encourage people in contributing to Debian by bringing existing
# Debian contributors as mentors: "Listen, Learn and Practice" is the
# event's motto!

Missing word: "The main goal of this event is ^to^ encourage", and
probably "is to encourage people to contribute".

"Bringing" isn't quite the right word - "involving"?  "Acquiring"?
"Finding"?

Most en_US styleguides would say that motto needs an extra comma:
"Listen, Learn, and Practice".

# The India Mini-DebConf 2011 will be held at Viskwakarma Institute of
# Technology of Pune.

"Technology of Pune" sounds strange, and indeed www.vit.edu calls it
just "Viskwakarma Institute of Technology, Pune".

(Tut tut, www.vit.edu has a stray apostrophe on the first line of
text... but it's text-as-jpeg, so I can't send them a patch.)

# Debian Involvement
#
# There will be several talks and workshops, as well as a special Q&A
# session about Debian and a keysigning party.

Fine.
-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package


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