Please find, for review, the debconf templates and packages descriptions for the sandboxgamemaker source package.
(apparently, that will be yet another funny situation where a non
native English speaker is proposing a review to a native speaker, if I
take Scott's name as a proff that he has English as native language...:-))
This review will last from Sunday, March 14, 2010 to Wednesday, March 24, 2010.
Please send reviews as unified diffs (diff -u) against the original
files. Comments about your proposed changes will be appreciated.
Your review should be sent as an answer to this mail.
When appropriate, I will send intermediate requests for review, with
"[RFRn]" (n>=2) as a subject tag.
When we will reach a consensus, I send a "Last Chance For
Comments" mail with "[LCFC]" as a subject tag.
Finally, the reviewed templates will be sent to the package maintainer
as a bug report, and a mail will be sent to this list with "[BTS]" as
a subject tag.
Rationale:
--- sandboxgamemaker.old/debian/templates 2010-03-13 08:12:11.031845369 +0100
+++ sandboxgamemaker/debian/templates 2010-03-13 11:38:24.743833066 +0100
@@ -1,8 +1,12 @@
Template: sandboxgamemaker/PAS_downloader_q
Type: boolean
-_Description: Would you like to install the default content?
- Platinum Arts, LLC, distributes default game content over the internet.
- This content is non-DFSG, > 200 MB, and will ovewrite the game content
- already in /usr/share/sandboxgamemaker. The answer to this question will
- be remembered for future upgrades and will download new content with new
- releases.
+_Description: Install default content from Platinum Arts?
Dropping the "would you like" to leave more room to better explain
what default content we're talking about in case this question pops up
in the middle of dozen other questions.
+ Platinum Arts, LLC, distributes default game content over the
+ Internet.
+ .
+ This content is non free, over 200 MB in size, and will ovewrite the
+ game content already in /usr/share/sandboxgamemaker.
+ .
+ If you choose to download and overwrite default game content, this
+ action will be repeated for any further upgrade of the package,
+ keeping this data up-to-date with recently released material.
Splitting things in paragraphs to improve readability.
Unjargonize a little bit (DFSG->free)
Change the last sentence to make it clearer (and avoid reference to
"that question" (it's always recommended to avoid having debconf
making references to itself). I hope that my re-interpretation of the
original wording is correct.
--- sandboxgamemaker.old/debian/control 2010-03-13 08:12:11.031845369 +0100
+++ sandboxgamemaker/debian/control 2010-03-13 11:40:42.372832881 +0100
@@ -12,17 +12,14 @@
Package: sandboxgamemaker
Architecture: any
-Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}, debconf (>= 0.2.17)
+Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}
I don't generally do this in reviews, but I spotted this
one. ${misc:Depends} will add the right dependency on debconf
(actually, it will add "debconf | debconf-2.0" which is the
recommended practice), so the extra reference to debconf is useless
(the versioned dependency refereces a very old version of debconf and
such versioned dependencies are considered useless).
Recommends: libsmpeg0, mikmod, timidity
-Description: Standalone 3D Game Maker and 3D Game Design program
- Platinum Arts Sandbox is an open source easy to use standalone 3D Game Maker
- and 3D Game Design program currently based on the cube 2 engine being used in
+Description: standalone 3D game maker and 3D game design program
+ Platinum Arts Sandbox is an open source, easy to use, standalone 3D game maker
+ and 3D game design program currently based on the cube 2 engine being used in
many schools throughout the world that allows kids and adults to create their
- own video games, worlds, levels, adventures and quests, even cooperatively!
+ own video games, worlds, levels, adventures and quests, even cooperatively.
The goal is to make it accessible to kids but also powerful enough for full
- game projects. With a simple click and roll of a mouse wheel users can modify
- the world however they want. In the words of Margaret, a nine year old Sandbox
- user, “Press Edit and go fulfill your dreams!”. Now features new
- game modes such as sidescroller, machinima, kartmode, RPG, and more!
+ game projects.
.
This package contains the client and server binaries.
Uncapitalize the synopsis (no leading capital as recommended by the
Developer's Reference...and not capitals on other words).
Add a few commas.
Drop an exclamation mark (excl. marks always bring a sense of non
"neutrality" which is discouraged in descriptions).
Drop the last sentence that more sounds as a commercial than real
description of the software. I think that the first sentences already
well describe the package.
--
Template: sandboxgamemaker/PAS_downloader_q Type: boolean _Description: Install default content from Platinum Arts? Platinum Arts, LLC, distributes default game content over the Internet. . This content is non free, over 200 MB in size, and will ovewrite the game content already in /usr/share/sandboxgamemaker. . If you choose to download and overwrite default game content, this action will be repeated for any further upgrade of the package, keeping this data up-to-date with recently released material.
--- sandboxgamemaker.old/debian/templates 2010-03-13 08:12:11.031845369 +0100
+++ sandboxgamemaker/debian/templates 2010-03-13 11:38:24.743833066 +0100
@@ -1,8 +1,12 @@
Template: sandboxgamemaker/PAS_downloader_q
Type: boolean
-_Description: Would you like to install the default content?
- Platinum Arts, LLC, distributes default game content over the internet.
- This content is non-DFSG, > 200 MB, and will ovewrite the game content
- already in /usr/share/sandboxgamemaker. The answer to this question will
- be remembered for future upgrades and will download new content with new
- releases.
+_Description: Install default content from Platinum Arts?
+ Platinum Arts, LLC, distributes default game content over the
+ Internet.
+ .
+ This content is non free, over 200 MB in size, and will ovewrite the
+ game content already in /usr/share/sandboxgamemaker.
+ .
+ If you choose the download and overwrite default game content, this
+ action will be repeated for any further upgrade of the package,
+ keeping this data up-to-date with recently released material.
--- sandboxgamemaker.old/debian/control 2010-03-13 08:12:11.031845369 +0100
+++ sandboxgamemaker/debian/control 2010-03-13 11:40:42.372832881 +0100
@@ -12,17 +12,14 @@
Package: sandboxgamemaker
Architecture: any
-Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}, debconf (>= 0.2.17)
+Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}
Recommends: libsmpeg0, mikmod, timidity
-Description: Standalone 3D Game Maker and 3D Game Design program
- Platinum Arts Sandbox is an open source easy to use standalone 3D Game Maker
- and 3D Game Design program currently based on the cube 2 engine being used in
+Description: standalone 3D game maker and 3D game design program
+ Platinum Arts Sandbox is an open source, easy to use, standalone 3D game maker
+ and 3D game design program currently based on the cube 2 engine being used in
many schools throughout the world that allows kids and adults to create their
- own video games, worlds, levels, adventures and quests, even cooperatively!
+ own video games, worlds, levels, adventures and quests, even cooperatively.
The goal is to make it accessible to kids but also powerful enough for full
- game projects. With a simple click and roll of a mouse wheel users can modify
- the world however they want. In the words of Margaret, a nine year old Sandbox
- user, “Press Edit and go fulfill your dreams!”. Now features new
- game modes such as sidescroller, machinima, kartmode, RPG, and more!
+ game projects.
.
This package contains the client and server binaries.
Source: sandboxgamemaker
Section: contrib/games
Priority: optional
Maintainer: Scott Howard <showard314@gmail.com>
DM-Upload-Allowed: yes
Build-Depends: debhelper (>= 7.0.50~), libsdl-image1.2-dev, libsdl-mixer1.2-dev, libsdl1.2-dev, libenet-dev, po-debconf
Standards-Version: 3.8.4
Homepage: http://sandboxgamemaker.com/
Vcs-Browser: http://git.debian.org/?p=pkg-games/sandboxgamemaker.git
Vcs-git: git://git.debian.org/git/pkg-games/sandboxgamemaker.git
Package: sandboxgamemaker
Architecture: any
Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}
Recommends: libsmpeg0, mikmod, timidity
Description: standalone 3D game maker and 3D game design program
Platinum Arts Sandbox is an open source, easy to use, standalone 3D game maker
and 3D game design program currently based on the cube 2 engine being used in
many schools throughout the world that allows kids and adults to create their
own video games, worlds, levels, adventures and quests, even cooperatively.
The goal is to make it accessible to kids but also powerful enough for full
game projects.
.
This package contains the client and server binaries.
Attachment:
signature.asc
Description: Digital signature