[Date Prev][Date Next] [Thread Prev][Thread Next] [Date Index] [Thread Index]

Re: Draft for lenny release announcement



Alexander Reichle-Schmehl wrote:
> http://svn.schmehl.info/svn/debian-publicity/20090214-lenny-release/lenny-announcement.en.wml

Before we get to the stage of correcting the style, here are some
issues with the content (from an SVN edition).

> constant development.  Debian GNU/Linux is a free operating system which
> supports a total of eleven processor architectures and includes the KDE,
                      ^^^^^^
Recount!

> GNOME, Xfce, and lxde desktop environments.  It also features cryptographic
> software and compatibility with the FHS v2.3 and software developed

While clearly Debian (like every other distro) includes SSH,
"cryptographic software" looks like a new-in-Etchism.

> <!-- p>Using a now fully integrated installation process, Debian GNU/Linux 5.0

This whole paragraph should go - new in Etch, old in Lenny.

 <p>Debian GNU/Linux runs on computers ranging from palmtops and handheld
 systems to supercomputers, and on nearly everything in between.  A total
 of eleven architectures are supported including:  Sun SPARC (sparc), HP
 Alpha (alpha), Motorola/IBM PowerPC (powerpc), Intel IA-32 (i386) and
 IA-64 (ia64), HP PA-RISC (hppa), MIPS (mips, mipsel), ARM (arm, armel), IBM
 S/390 (s390) and AMD64 and Intel EM64T (amd64).</p>

Recount!  And don't say "including" before an exhaustive list.  Now
that the 64-bit architectures aren't new (and therefore tacked on to
the end), should they be sorted in with the other AMD and Intel
architectures?

> <p>With the integration of X.org 7.3 the X server autoconfigures itself
[...]
> <p>The integration of OpenJDK, a free version of Sun's Java technology,

"Integration" with what?  Does this just mean "inclusion"?

> <p>Debian GNU/Linux can be installed from various installation media such
> as DVDs, CDs, USB sticks and floppies, or from the network.  GNOME is the

Is this trying to be an exhaustive list?

> <p>Debian GNU/Linux can be downloaded right now via bittorrent (the 
> recommended way), jigdo or HTTP;  see <a href="$(HOME)/CD/">Debian
> GNU/Linux on CDs</a> for further information.  It will soon be available
> on DVD and CD-ROM from numerous <a href="$(HOME)/CD/vendors">vendors</a>,
> too.</p>         
 
Mention Blu-ray Discs here?

> <p>This release includes a number of updated software packages, such as

(Some of these need fixing.)

> <p>The Debian project's key strengths are

Fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to
the Pope... and nice red uniforms.
-- 
JBR
Ankh kak! (Ancient Egyptian blessing)


Reply to: