Re: Please review Debian Project News
Paul Wise <pabs@debian.org> wrote:
> On Sun, Feb 8, 2009 at 5:29 AM, Jonathan Evans <zeetung@talktalk.net> wrote:
> > Have you got the url for that?!?!??
>
> As always, it is here:
> http://wiki.debian.org/ProjectNews/Issues/Current
I think "sent a release update regarding the upcoming release" would
be better as "sent a release update about the upcoming release".
Replace "He noted that with the" with "The".
Replace "sorted in" with "sorted into".
Remove "again" from "he mentioned that again".
I don't mind the link-per-word of "gave a detailed retrospective",
"have been working" and "at the recent reports" but I've been asked
not to do such things in my planet debian posts in the past.
Replace "different projects" with "different tasks" to avoid repeating
"projects". Alternatively, replace "free software projects" with
"free software organisations" or "developers" or some such.
Replace "The Debian Project got" with "The Debian Project had" and
maybe replace "of which some" with "some of which".
Replace "calls, by creating" with "calls. This is done by creating"
and "to be, since it" with "to be. It" to split long sentences.
I'm confused by the second paragraph of "Bits from the Policy Team,
call for volunteers" but I'm not sure quite what it's trying to
communicate. While I'm meta-analysing, I don't think "List statistics
for debian mailing lists" is newsworthy.
Insert "that" after "mentioned some criteria".
The link to "the package xorg-server" replies "Sorry, your search gave
no results" to me. Replace "a license" with "the SGI Free Software
License B 2.0, ".
Replace "the different status files apt uses" with "the different
status files used by apt".
Hope that helps,
--
MJR/slef
My Opinion Only: see http://people.debian.org/~mjr/
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