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Re: Please review this manpage



On Mon, Jul 26, 2004 at 03:48:38AM +0200, Nicolas Boullis wrote:
> I wrote a manpage for a package of mine (athcool), and upstream agrees 
> to take it. But as neither of us is a native English speaker, I'd like 
> to have this manpage reviewed (and fixed) before it is merged upstream.
> Can anyone check it?

> athcool \- control powersaving mode on AMD Athlon/Duron CPUs

I would say "power-saving" throughout rather than "powersaving".

> \fBathcool\fR is a program that controls the powersaving mode on AMD
> Athlon/Duron CPUs. The parameter \fIcommand\fR is one of:

As a *roff style point, the full stop at the end of a sentence should
always be followed by a newline (*roff performs better spacing if you do
it that way). So:

  \fBathcool\fR is a program that controls the powersaving mode on AMD
  Athlon/Duron CPUs.
  The parameter \fIcommand\fR is one of:

... and so on throughout.

> a slowdown in harddisk performance,

Make this "hard disk", or maybe just "disk".

> system locks or instability,

Perhaps "lock-ups" or better "hangs" or "freezes". "Locks" as a noun, as
opposed to a verb, sounds too much like something you open with a key.

> If you meet those problems, you should not use athcool.

"If you encounter those problems".

> For more information about powersaving with Athlon/Duron CPU,

"CPUs", I think.

Aside from that, this man page looks good.

Cheers,

-- 
Colin Watson                                  [cjwatson@flatline.org.uk]



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