Re: [RFR] wml://www.debian.org/international/Dutch.en.html
Frans Spiesschaert wrote:
> <h1>Debian in Dutch-speaking countries and territories</h1>
>
> <p>Debian aims to be a universal operating system.
> This not only results in the fact that Debian runs
This is grammatical but a bit stilted. How about:
This results in Debian not only running [...] but also wanting [...]
> on a variety of computer architectures, but also in Debian
> wanting to be available in as much languages as possible
This is the countable sense of "language", so "many". Or you can save
a couple of words and say "wanting to be available in as many
languages and accessible for as many people as possible".
> and to be accessible for as many people as possible. Therefore it is not
> surprising that Debian, originated in the US and using
> English as its official language, evolved into a global
(Is it *officially* official? You can tell Debian was invented by
anglophones by the way the constitution just take it for granted!)
> network of volunteers with a worldwide userbase.</p>
That was pretty good, but this following paragraph needs some work:
> <p>Also in the Dutch-speaking countries and territories on the globe one
> can found several Debian developers and even more people that contribute
> to it by offering user support, by translating the operating system into Dutch
> or by presenting Debian web pages to Dutch-speaking persons
> in their native language.</p>
I'd make this:
<p>In the Dutch-speaking countries and territories around the world there are
several Debian developers as well as many others who contribute to Debian by
offering user support, by translating the operating system into Dutch
or by converting Debian web pages so that Dutch-speakers can read them in
their native language.</p>
(I've always had the impression that Dutch DDs number more than just
"several", but maybe this is counting them per territory...)
> <h2>Debian for its Dutch-speaking user base</h2>
>
> <ul>
> <li><a href="$(HOME)/social_contract">The Debian <q>Social Contract</q> with the Free Software Community</a></li>
> <li><a href="$(HOME)/intro/cn">Read the Debian web pages in your own language</a></li>
> <li>Dutch mailing list for Debian users:
> <a href="https://lists.debian.org/debian-user-dutch/";>mailing list archives</a>,
> <a href="https://lists.debian.org/debian-user-dutch/";>subscribe to the list</a>
> </li>
> </ul>
There's a comma in there that ought to be a semicolon.
> <h2>Helping out with the translation of Debian</h2>
>
> <p>We have the ambition to make the Debian operating system and
> its documentation also available in Dutch.
> This can be of great help for people that lack a good command
> of English. Among others we think that especially for children the lack of
> a Dutch translation can be an important barrier.</p>
"Among others we think" just leads to the misreading "We among others
think". Since you're saying "especially for children" you don't need
to belabour the non-exhaustiveness, and to be honest you might as well
drop the "we think" as well. It works much better as just:
This can be of great help for people who lack a good command
of English. For children especially, the lack of a Dutch translation
can be an important barrier.
> <p>Like the development of the Debian operating system itself,
> also its translation relies on volunteers. In case
You don't really need both "like" and "also", but it works well enough
if I just move the "also" to say "also relies". "In case" here means
"if" and might as well be "if".
> you might have some spare time and a reasonable command of
> English, then also you could consider contributing. If such an idea looks
Is that "also then", "also you" or "also consider contributing"?
I've really had quite enough repeats of the word "also", so maybe
this time we should use sentence-final "too".
> appealing to you, please find additional information
> at the following locations:</p>
>
> <ul>
> <li>At the <a href="dutch/index.html">project website</a> of the
> Debian translation project you may find additional information
> on the translation of Debian into Dutch.</li>
"You may... or then again you may not"? Make this a "will" and never
mind the fact that it won't be true if they don't look.
> <li>The Dutch translation is coordinated at this mailing list:
> <a href="mailto:debian-l10n-dutch@lists.debian.org";>
> debian-l10n-dutch@lists.debian.org</a>
> (<a href="https://lists.debian.org/debian-l10n-dutch/";>archives
> and subscription pages</a>).</li>
> </ul>
Okay.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
#use wml::debian::template title="Debian Dutch Pages"
# This contents of this page is completely the responsibility of
# the translation team
<h1>Debian in Dutch-speaking countries and territories</h1>
<p>Debian aims to be a universal operating system.
This results in Debian not only running on a variety of computer
architectures, but also wanting to be available in as many languages
and accessible for as many people as possible. Therefore it is not
surprising that Debian, originated in the US and using
English as its official language, evolved into a global
network of volunteers with a worldwide userbase.</p>
<p>In the Dutch-speaking countries and territories around the world there are
several Debian developers as well as many others who contribute to Debian by
offering user support, translating the operating system into Dutch
or converting Debian web pages so that Dutch-speakers can read them in
their native language.</p>
<h2>Debian for its Dutch-speaking user base</h2>
<ul>
<li><a href="$(HOME)/social_contract">The Debian <q>Social Contract</q> with the Free Software Community</a></li>
<li><a href="$(HOME)/intro/cn">Read the Debian web pages in your own language</a></li>
<li>Dutch mailing list for Debian users:
<a href="https://lists.debian.org/debian-user-dutch/";>mailing list archives</a>;
<a href="https://lists.debian.org/debian-user-dutch/";>subscribe to the list</a>
</li>
</ul>
<h2>Helping out with the translation of Debian</h2>
<p>We have the ambition to make the Debian operating system and
its documentation also available in Dutch.
This can be of great help for people who lack a good command
of English. For children especially, the lack of a Dutch translation
can be an important barrier.</p>
<p>Like the development of the Debian operating system itself,
its translation also relies on volunteers. If
you might have some spare time and a reasonable command of
English, then you could consider contributing too. If such an idea looks
appealing to you, please find additional information
at the following locations:</p>
<ul>
<li>At the <a href="dutch/index.html">project website</a> of the
Debian translation project you will find additional information
on the translation of Debian into Dutch.</li>
<li>The Dutch translation is coordinated on this mailing list:
<a href="mailto:debian-l10n-dutch@lists.debian.org";>
debian-l10n-dutch@lists.debian.org</a>
(<a href="https://lists.debian.org/debian-l10n-dutch/";>archives
and subscription pages</a>).</li>
</ul>
--- Dutch.wml.old 2016-07-29 11:21:00.072284879 +0100
+++ Dutch.wml 2016-07-29 11:36:44.002053805 +0100
@@ -7,18 +7,17 @@
<h1>Debian in Dutch-speaking countries and territories</h1>
<p>Debian aims to be a universal operating system.
-This not only results in the fact that Debian runs
-on a variety of computer architectures, but also in Debian
-wanting to be available in as much languages as possible
-and to be accessible for as many people as possible. Therefore it is not
+This results in Debian not only running on a variety of computer
+architectures, but also wanting to be available in as many languages
+and accessible for as many people as possible. Therefore it is not
surprising that Debian, originated in the US and using
English as its official language, evolved into a global
network of volunteers with a worldwide userbase.</p>
-<p>Also in the Dutch-speaking countries and territories on the globe one
-can found several Debian developers and even more people that contribute
-to it by offering user support, by translating the operating system into Dutch
-or by presenting Debian web pages to Dutch-speaking persons
-in their native language.</p>
+<p>In the Dutch-speaking countries and territories around the world there are
+several Debian developers as well as many others who contribute to Debian by
+offering user support, translating the operating system into Dutch
+or converting Debian web pages so that Dutch-speakers can read them in
+their native language.</p>
<h2>Debian for its Dutch-speaking user base</h2>
@@ -26,7 +25,7 @@
<li><a href="$(HOME)/social_contract">The Debian <q>Social Contract</q> with the Free Software Community</a></li>
<li><a href="$(HOME)/intro/cn">Read the Debian web pages in your own language</a></li>
<li>Dutch mailing list for Debian users:
- <a href="https://lists.debian.org/debian-user-dutch/";>mailing list archives</a>,
+ <a href="https://lists.debian.org/debian-user-dutch/";>mailing list archives</a>;
<a href="https://lists.debian.org/debian-user-dutch/";>subscribe to the list</a>
</li>
</ul>
@@ -36,22 +35,22 @@
<p>We have the ambition to make the Debian operating system and
its documentation also available in Dutch.
-This can be of great help for people that lack a good command
-of English. Among others we think that especially for children the lack of
-a Dutch translation can be an important barrier.</p>
+This can be of great help for people who lack a good command
+of English. For children especially, the lack of a Dutch translation
+can be an important barrier.</p>
<p>Like the development of the Debian operating system itself,
-also its translation relies on volunteers. In case
+its translation also relies on volunteers. If
you might have some spare time and a reasonable command of
-English, then also you could consider contributing. If such an idea looks
+English, then you could consider contributing too. If such an idea looks
appealing to you, please find additional information
at the following locations:</p>
<ul>
<li>At the <a href="dutch/index.html">project website</a> of the
- Debian translation project you may find additional information
+ Debian translation project you will find additional information
on the translation of Debian into Dutch.</li>
- <li>The Dutch translation is coordinated at this mailing list:
+ <li>The Dutch translation is coordinated on this mailing list:
<a href="mailto:debian-l10n-dutch@lists.debian.org";>
debian-l10n-dutch@lists.debian.org</a>
(<a href="https://lists.debian.org/debian-l10n-dutch/";>archives
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