Re: Debian Project News 2011/09 frozen. Please review and translate
On 2011-06-05 18:33, David Prévot wrote:
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Hi,
We just finished the last bits for the latest issue of the Debian
Project News we plan to send on Wednesday. We would appreciate reviews
and translations.
Instructions can be found on http://wiki.debian.org/ProjectNews.
As usual, the current issue is available on the publicity subversion
repository, even via HTTP:
http://anonscm.debian.org/viewvc/publicity/dpn/en/current/index.wml?view=markup
Regards
David
Thank you David. Here are my remarks:
Roland Mas sent a<a
href="http://lists.debian.org/debian-devel-announce/2011/05/msg00010.html";>report
from the Alioth sprint</a> held in Cambridge, England from 20 to 22
May in the course of which the three Alioth administrators (Stephan Gran, Tollef Fog,
Heen and Roland Mas) did an incredible amount of work to redefine the
hosting structure of Alioth.
Tollef Fog Heen is a single person, so there is no need for the comma.
So, it's time to update
<a
href="http://lists.debian.org/debian-devel-announce/2011/05/msg00007.html";>fingerprints</a>
<a
href="http://lists.debian.org/debian-devel-announce/2011/05/msg00008.html";>for
the two hosts</a>.
The link on "for the two hosts" is weird. The formulation is also odd.
It sounds like all readers would need to upgrade fingerprints, although
presumably only a minority do.
He summarized some of the hot topics discussed
in the Debian developer mailing list, such as the one about the
<q>rolling</q> release, pointing out how discussions in the
<tt>debian-devel</tt> mailing list have become more useful.
s/developer/development/
Also, the "the one about" can be dropped (The rolling release is a topic).
Per Andersson and Hedvig Kamp wrote a series of article about Free
Software in general, and Debian in particular, in a Swedish newspaper,
Fria Tidningen.
No comma is needed before an "and". "a Swedish newspaper, Fria
Tidningen" is a particular phrasing. Perhaps the author meant "Fria
Tidningen, a Swedish newspaper".
One article is titled<a
href="http://www.fria.nu/artikel/88296";>Det demokratiska Debian</a>
(<q>The democratic Debian</q>), which describes Debian's organization
and social responsibility.
Here, "which" refers to a title, but the title doesn't describe Debian's
organization and social responsibility, it's the article itself that
does. Use instead:
One article is titled [...] and describes Debian's ...
in the paper edition
there is also a big fat Debian Women logo
Let's avoid this poor formulation and replace with "a [very] large logo
of Debian Women".
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