Re: More proposed changes to debian-faq
Beatrice Torracca wrote:
> This is the second part of my proposed changes to debian-faq. Aside
> minor changes in the English language (which probably need a review from
> a native speaker) I changed some contents, specifically:
[...]
Your English is almost flawless, but I noticed some other kinds of
problem.
> Index: pkg_basics.sgml
> ===================================================================
> --- pkg_basics.sgml (revisione 11198)
> +++ pkg_basics.sgml (copia locale)
[...]
> @@ -94,9 +94,10 @@
> file (<tt>debian/control</tt>), the installation or removal scripts
> (<tt>debian/p*</tt>), or in the configuration files used with the package.
>
> +<
> <p>The <tt>AAA</tt> component identifies the processor for which
> -the package was built. This is commonly <tt>i386</tt>, which refers to
> -chips compatible to Intel's 386 or later versions. For other
> +the package was built. This is commonly <tt>amd64</tt>, which refers to
> +AMD64, Intel 64 or VIA Nano chips. For other
> possibilities review Debian's FTP directory structure at <ref id="dirtree">.
> For details, see the description of "Debian architecture" in the manual page
> <manref name="dpkg-architecture" section="1">.
The content's good, but what's that extra "<"?
[...]
> @@ -196,7 +200,7 @@
> package <tt>foo</tt> once <tt>foo</tt> has been unpacked from its Debian
> archive (".deb") file. Often, 'postinst' scripts ask the user for input,
> and/or warn the user that if he accepts default values, he should remember
> - to go back and re-configure that package as the situation warrants.
> + to go back and re-configure that package as needed.
> Many 'postinst' scripts then execute any commands necessary to start or
> restart a service once a new package has been installed or upgraded.
I'd like to suggest a change to the start of that sentence:
Often, 'postinst' scripts ask users for input,
and/or warn them that if they accept default values, they should remember
to go back and re-configure that package as needed.
[...]
> @@ -275,7 +283,7 @@
> <p>A virtual package is a generic name that applies to any one of a group
> of packages, all of which provide similar basic functionality. For example,
> both the <tt>tin</tt> and <tt>trn</tt> programs are news readers, and
> -should therefore satisfy any dependency of a program that required a news
> +should therefore satisfy any dependency of a program that requires a news
> reader on a system, in order to work or to be useful.
> They are therefore both said to provide the "virtual package" called
> <tt>news-reader</tt>.
Given that trn is non-free, I would suggest instead mentioning slrn or
knews. Or given that twentyfirst-century newbies may never have heard
of USENET news groups, perhaps we should use a different example
virtual package, such as "editor" or "www-browser".
[...]
> Index: redist.sgml
> ===================================================================
> --- redist.sgml (revisione 11198)
> +++ redist.sgml (copia locale)
> @@ -36,9 +36,9 @@
>
> <p>Yes. Debian-derived distributions are being created both in close
> cooperation with the Debian project itself and by external parties. One can
> -use the <url id="http://cdd.alioth.debian.org/"; name="Custom Debian
> -Distributions"> framework to work together with Debian; <url
> -id="http://www.skolelinux.org/"; name="Skolelinux"> is one such project.
> +use the <url id="https://www.debian.org/blends/"; name="Debian
> +Pure Blends"> framework to work together with Debian; <url
> +id="https://wiki.debian.org/DebianEdu/"; name="DebianEdu/Skolelinux"> is one such project.
>
> <p>There are several other Debian-derived distributions already on the market,
> such as Progeny Debian, Linspire, Knoppix and Ubuntu, that are targeted at a
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^
"Progeny Linux" vanished nine years ago, and "Linspire" eight years
ago. Maybe Linux Mint and Raspbian? Or grml?
[...]
> @@ -168,11 +168,11 @@
> engine for newsgroups.
>
> <p>For example, to find out what experiences people have had with
> - finding drivers for Promise controllers under Debian, try searching on
> + finding drivers for Promise controllers under Debian, try searching
> the phrase <tt>Promise Linux driver</tt>. This will show you all the
> - postings that contain these strings, i.e. those where people discussed
> + posts that contain these strings, i.e. those where people discussed
> these topics. If you add <tt>Debian</tt> to those search strings, you'll
> - also get the postings specifically related to Debian.
> + also get the posts specifically related to Debian.
This is distinctly cobwebby - when I ask Google I find ten-year-old
books advising me that the best way to use Promise RAID controllers
even then was to use the standard open-source drivers in the mainline
kernel.
Plus, advising people to use Google Groups seems cruel.
> <item>Any of the common web spidering engines, such as
> <url id="http://www.altavista.com/"; name="AltaVista"> or
Alterswissenschaft? I would suggest DuckDuckGo.
> @@ -179,7 +179,7 @@
> <url id="http://www.google.com/"; name="Google">, as long as you use
> the right search terms.
>
> - <p>For example, searching on the string "cgi-perl" gives a more detailed
> + <p>For example, searching the string "cgi-perl" gives a more detailed
> explanation of this package than the brief description field in its
> control file.
> </list>
Oh, no, leave this. "Searching on" a string means using that string
as your search term (which is what's intended here); "searching" a
string would mean performing a search that goes through the string
looking for something.
Except that it's also cobwebby - libcgi-perl hasn't been a package
since round about Sarge.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
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