Re: releasenotes
Justin B Rye wrote:
> A patch for all these copy-editing issues. Mostly I've just assumed
> that the appropriate solution is to snip out the troublesome bits.
Next, proofreading patch (against the copy-edited version). I haven't
tried to make it consistent in its use of "serial comma", but where the
original had "customize the system to their localisation needs" I've
standardised on standardization.
--
JBR - and today's single word in West Greenlandic is:
Uqarituukasippungaasiit
"Silly me, I went and spoke out of turn as usual!"
diff -ru release-notes.copyedited//en/installing.dbk release-notes/en/installing.dbk
--- release-notes.copyedited//en/installing.dbk 2011-02-01 17:35:20.493027527 +0000
+++ release-notes/en/installing.dbk 2011-02-01 20:27:46.924926511 +0000
@@ -154,7 +154,7 @@
<listitem>
<para>
The dialogs presented during the installation process now provide help
-information. Although not currently used in all dialogs, this feature would be
+information. Although not currently used in all dialogs, this feature will be
increasingly used in future releases. This will improve the user experience
during the installation process, especially for new users.
</para>
@@ -199,8 +199,8 @@
<listitem>
<para>
The installation system provides better support for installing
-both &releasename; as well as &oldreleasename; and older releases
-(through the use of archive.debian.org). In addition, it will also
+&releasename; as well as &oldreleasename; and older releases
+(through the use of archive.debian.org). In addition it will
check that the selected mirror is consistent and holds the selected
release.
</para>
@@ -211,7 +211,7 @@
<term>Changes in partitioning features</term>
<listitem>
<para>
-This release of the installer supports the use of the ext4 file system and it
+This release of the installer supports the use of the ext4 file system, and
also simplifies the creation of RAID, LVM and crypto protected partitioning
systems. Support for the reiserfs file system is no longer included by default,
although it can be optionally loaded.
@@ -270,14 +270,14 @@
<listitem>
<para>
Thai, previously available only in the graphical user interface, is now
-available also in the text-based installation user interface too.
+available in the text-based installation user interface too.
</para>
</listitem>
</itemizedlist>
<para>
-Due to the lack of translation updates two languages were
+Due to the lack of translation updates, two languages were
dropped in this release: Wolof and Welsh.
</para>
@@ -291,17 +291,17 @@
</varlistentry>
<varlistentry>
-<term>Improved localisation selection</term>
+<term>Improved localization selection</term>
<listitem>
<para>
-The selection of localisation-related values (language, location and locale
-settings) is now less interdependent and more flexible. Users will be able to
-customize the system to their localisation needs more easily while still make
+The selection of localization-related values (language, location and locale
+settings) is now less interdependent and more flexible. This will allow users to
+customize the system to their localization needs more easily, while still making
it comfortable to use for users that want to select the locale most
common for the country they reside in.
</para>
<para>
-Additionally, the consequences of localisation choices (such as timezone,
+Additionally, the consequences of localization choices (such as timezone,
keymap and mirror selection) are now more obvious to the user.
</para>
</listitem>
diff -ru release-notes.copyedited//en/issues.dbk release-notes/en/issues.dbk
--- release-notes.copyedited//en/issues.dbk 2011-02-01 17:56:42.841258893 +0000
+++ release-notes/en/issues.dbk 2011-02-01 21:00:46.436925880 +0000
@@ -456,14 +456,14 @@
<filename>/etc/services</filename> is updated.
</para>
<para>
-This will affect Cyrus IMAP. This may also affect other sieve-enabled
+This will affect Cyrus IMAP, and may also affect other sieve-enabled
software such as DoveCot.
</para>
<para>
In order to avoid downtime problems, mail cluster administrators using
Debian are urged to verify their Cyrus (and probably also DoveCot) installs,
-and take measures to avoid services moving from port 2000/tcp to port
-4190/tcp by surprise in either servers or clients.
+and take measures to avoid surprises with services moving from port 2000/tcp to port
+4190/tcp in either servers or clients.
</para>
<para>
It is worth noting that:
@@ -486,7 +486,7 @@
<para>
You can edit <filename>/etc/cyrus.conf</filename> and any other relevant
configuration files for your mail/webmail cluster (e.g. on the sieve web
-frontends) ahead of time to force them all to a static port number.
+front-ends) ahead of time to force them all to a static port number.
</para>
</listitem>
<listitem>
@@ -507,7 +507,7 @@
&Releasename; is the first Debian release to ship with the full support
for the next generation KDE that is based on Qt 4.
Most official KDE applications are at version 4.4.5 with the exception
-of <systemitem role="package">kdepim</systemitem> that is at version 4.4.7. You
+of <systemitem role="package">kdepim</systemitem>, which is at version 4.4.7. You
can read the <ulink url="http://www.kde.org/announcements/";>announcements from
the KDE Project</ulink> to learn more about the changes.
</para>
@@ -519,7 +519,7 @@
KDE 3 Desktop Environment is no longer supported in Debian &release;.
It will be automatically replaced by the new 4.4 series on upgrade.
As this is a major change, users should take some precautions in order
-to ensure as smooth of an upgrade process as possible.
+to ensure as smooth an upgrade process as possible.
</para>
<important>
@@ -541,15 +541,15 @@
</para>
<para>
-While KDE 3 based desktop environment is no longer supported,
+While the KDE 3 desktop environment is no longer supported,
users can still install and use some individual KDE 3 applications
since the core libraries and binaries of KDE 3
(<systemitem role="package">kdelibs</systemitem>) and Qt 3 are
still available in Debian &release;. However, please note that these
applications might not be well integrated with the new environment.
What's more, neither KDE 3 nor Qt 3 will be supported in any form in the next
-Debian release so if you are using them, you are strongly advised to port your
-software to the new platform.
+Debian release; so if you are using them, you are strongly advised to migrate
+to the new platform.
</para>
</section>
@@ -589,15 +589,15 @@
that can be installed with the
<systemitem role="package">kde-plasma-netbook</systemitem> package.
Plasma Netbook and Plasma Desktop can live in the same system
-and the default can be configured in System Settings (replacement of the
+and the default can be configured in System Settings (which replaces the
former KControl).
</para>
</listitem>
<listitem>
<para>
-If you want a full set of official KDE applications, you have the possibility
-to install the <systemitem role="package">kde-full</systemitem> package.
-It will install KDE Plasma Desktop by default.
+If you want a full set of official KDE applications, you have the option
+of installing the <systemitem role="package">kde-full</systemitem> package.
+This will install KDE Plasma Desktop by default.
</para>
</listitem>
</itemizedlist>
@@ -610,7 +610,7 @@
<title>GNOME desktop changes and support</title>
<para>
There have been many changes in the GNOME desktop environment from the version
-shipped in &oldreleasename; to the version in &releasename;, you can find more information in the
+shipped in &oldreleasename; to the version in &releasename;. You can find more information in the
<ulink url="http://library.gnome.org/misc/release-notes/2.30/";>GNOME 2.30 Release
Notes</ulink>. Specific issues are listed below.
</para>
@@ -618,11 +618,11 @@
<section>
<title>GDM 2.20 and 2.30</title>
<para>
-The GNOME Display Manager (GDM), is kept at version 2.20 for systems upgraded
-from &oldreleasename;. This version will still be maintained for the squeeze
-cycle but it is the last release to do so. Newly installed systems will get
+The GNOME Display Manager (GDM) is kept at version 2.20 for systems upgraded
+from &oldreleasename;. This version will still be maintained for the &releasename;
+cycle, but no longer. Newly installed systems will get
GDM 2.30 instead, provided by the <systemitem role="package">gdm3</systemitem>
-package. Because of incompatibilities between both versions, this upgrade is
+package. Because of incompatibilities between versions, this upgrade is
not automatic, but it is recommended to install <systemitem
role="package">gdm3</systemitem> after the upgrade to &releasename;. This
should be done from the console, or with only one open GNOME session. Note
@@ -645,7 +645,7 @@
Most graphical programs requiring root permissions now rely on <ulink
url="http://www.freedesktop.org/wiki/Software/PolicyKit";>PolicyKit</ulink> to
do so, instead of <systemitem role="package">gksu</systemitem>. The recommended
-way to give a user administrative rights is to add it to the
+way to give users administrative rights is to add them to the
<literal>sudo</literal> group.
</para>
</section>
@@ -653,14 +653,14 @@
<section>
<title>network-manager and ifupdown interaction</title>
<para>
- Upon upgrading the <systemitem role="package">network-manager</systemitem>
- package, interfaces configured in
+ When the <systemitem role="package">network-manager</systemitem>
+ package is upgraded, interfaces configured in
<filename>/etc/network/interfaces</filename> to use
<acronym>DHCP</acronym> with no other options will be disabled in that
file, and handled by NetworkManager instead. Therefore the
<command>ifup</command> and <command>ifdown</command> commands will not
- work. These interfaces can be managed using the NetworkManager frontends
- instead, see <ulink
+ work. These interfaces can be managed using the NetworkManager front-ends
+ instead; see <ulink
url="http://live.gnome.org/NetworkManager/SystemSettings";>the
NetworkManager documentation</ulink>.
</para>
@@ -679,7 +679,7 @@
<title>Graphics stack changes</title>
<para>
There have been a number of changes to the X stack in Debian &release;.
- This section lists the most important and user-visible.
+ This section lists the most important and user-visible ones.
</para>
<section>
@@ -687,11 +687,11 @@
<para>
The <literal>cyrix</literal>, <literal>imstt</literal>,
<literal>sunbw2</literal> and <literal>vga</literal> Xorg video drivers
- are no longer provided. Users should switch to a generic such as
+ are no longer provided. Users should switch to a generic driver such as
<literal>vesa</literal> or <literal>fbdev</literal> instead.
</para>
<para>
- The old <literal>via</literal> driver was no longer maintained, and has
+ The old <literal>via</literal> driver was unmaintained, and has
been replaced by the <literal>openchrome</literal> driver, which will be
used automatically after the upgrade.
</para>
@@ -699,7 +699,7 @@
The <literal>nv</literal> and <literal>radeonhd</literal> drivers are
still present in this release, but are deprecated. Users should
consider the <literal>nouveau</literal> and <literal>radeon</literal>
- drivers instead, respectively.
+ drivers instead.
</para>
<para>
The <literal>calcomp</literal>, <literal>citron</literal>,
@@ -738,7 +738,7 @@
<title>Input device hotplug</title>
<para>
The Xorg X server included in Debian &release; provides improved support
- for hotplugging of input devices (mice, keyboards, tablets, …). The old
+ for hotplugging of input devices such as mice, keyboards or tablets. The old
<systemitem role="package">xserver-xorg-input-kbd</systemitem> and
<systemitem role="package">xserver-xorg-input-mouse</systemitem>
packages are replaced by <systemitem
diff -ru release-notes.copyedited//en/moreinfo.dbk release-notes/en/moreinfo.dbk
--- release-notes.copyedited//en/moreinfo.dbk 2011-02-01 17:35:20.496916343 +0000
+++ release-notes/en/moreinfo.dbk 2011-02-01 20:41:36.877259095 +0000
@@ -12,8 +12,8 @@
Beyond these release notes and the installation guide, further documentation on
&debian; is available from the Debian Documentation Project (DDP),
whose goal is to create high-quality documentation for Debian users and
-developers. Documentation, including the Debian Reference, Debian New
-Maintainers Guide, and Debian FAQ are available, and many more. For full
+developers. Documentation is available, including the Debian Reference, Debian New
+Maintainers Guide, and Debian FAQ, among others. For full
details of the existing resources see the <ulink
url="&url-ddp;">Debian Documentation website</ulink> and the
<ulink url="&url-wiki;">Debian Wiki website</ulink>
@@ -69,11 +69,11 @@
<section id="bugs">
<title>Reporting bugs</title>
<para>
-We strive to make &debian; a high quality operating system, however
+We strive to make &debian; a high quality operating system; however,
that does not mean that the packages we provide are totally free of bugs.
Consistent with Debian's <quote>open development</quote> philosophy and as a service to our
users, we provide all the information on reported bugs at our own Bug Tracking
-System (BTS). The BTS is browseable at <ulink
+System (BTS). The BTS is browsable at <ulink
url="&url-bts;"></ulink>.
</para>
<para>
diff -ru release-notes.copyedited//en/old-stuff.dbk release-notes/en/old-stuff.dbk
--- release-notes.copyedited//en/old-stuff.dbk 2011-02-01 17:35:20.493027527 +0000
+++ release-notes/en/old-stuff.dbk 2011-02-01 20:39:41.033258938 +0000
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
<section id="old-upgrade">
<title>Upgrading your &oldreleasename; system</title>
<para>
-Basically this is no different than any other upgrade of &oldreleasename; you've been
+Basically this is no different from any other upgrade of &oldreleasename; you've been
doing. The only difference is that you first need to make sure your package
list still contains references to &oldreleasename; as explained in <xref
linkend="old-sources"/>.
@@ -77,11 +77,11 @@
<title>Upgrade legacy locales to UTF-8</title>
<para>
-If your system is localised and is using a locale that is not based on UTF-8
+If your system is localized and is using a locale that is not based on UTF-8
you should strongly consider switching your system over to using UTF-8 locales.
-In the past, there have been bugs identified that manifest itself only when
+In the past, there have been bugs identified that manifest themselves only when
using a non-UTF-8 locale. On the desktop, such legacy locales are supported
-through ugly hacks in the libraries internals, and we cannot decently provide
+through ugly hacks in the library internals, and we cannot decently provide
support for users who still use them.
</para>
<para>
diff -ru release-notes.copyedited//en/upgrading.dbk release-notes/en/upgrading.dbk
--- release-notes.copyedited//en/upgrading.dbk 2011-02-01 17:45:33.093263258 +0000
+++ release-notes/en/upgrading.dbk 2011-02-01 20:57:03.849259174 +0000
@@ -75,21 +75,20 @@
<!-- Based on information/complains from upgrade-reports, such as #602797 -->
<section id="services-downtime">
-<title>Prepare for downtime on services</title>
+<title>Prepare for downtime of services</title>
<para>
-During the upgrade process, there might be services associated with packages
-that will be include in the upgrade. If this is the case, these services might
-be stopped while the packages that are going to be upgraded are being replaced
-and configured. During this time, these services will not be available.
+Upgrades to packages that are providing services may result in these services
+being stopped while these packages are being replaced and configured.
+During this time, these services will not be available.
</para>
<para>
-The precise downtime for these service will vary depending on the number of
-packages being upgraded in the system, and it also includes the time the system
-administrator answers the configuration questions from different package
-upgrades (if any). Notice that if the upgrade process is left unattended and
-the system requests input throughout the upgrade there is a high
+The precise downtime for these services will vary depending on the number of
+packages being upgraded in the system, and on the time it takes for the system
+administrator to answer any configuration questions from package upgrades.
+Note that if the upgrade process is left unattended and
+the system requests input during the upgrade there is a high
possibility of services being unavailable<footnote><para>If the debconf
priority is set to a very high level you might prevent configuration prompts,
but services that rely on default answers that are not applicable to your
@@ -98,7 +97,7 @@
<para>
If the system being upgraded provides critical services for your users or
-network<footnote><para>For example: DNS or DHCP services, specially when
+network<footnote><para>For example: DNS or DHCP services, especially when
there is no redundancy or failover. In the DHCP case end-users might be disconnected
from the network if the lease time is lower than the time it takes for the
upgrade process to complete.</para></footnote>, you can reduce the downtime if
@@ -123,7 +122,7 @@
documented in this and the next chapters of these Release Notes.
</para>
<para>
-For that reason it makes sense to ensure that you will be able to recover if
+For this reason it makes sense to ensure that you will be able to recover if
your system should fail to reboot or, for remotely managed systems, fail to
bring up networking.
</para>
@@ -158,7 +157,7 @@
<!-- FIXME: Consider putting this option first, as it should be the
recommended rescue method -->
<para>
-Another option we'd like to recommend is to use the <emphasis>rescue
+Another particularly recommended option is to use the <emphasis>rescue
mode</emphasis> of the &releasename; Debian Installer. The advantage of using the
installer is that you can choose between its many installation methods for one
that best suits your situation. For more information, please consult the
@@ -212,7 +211,7 @@
</para>
</important>
<para>
-In order to gain extra safety margin when upgrading remotely, we suggest that
+For an extra safety margin when upgrading remotely, we suggest that
you run upgrade processes in the virtual console provided by the
<command>screen</command> program, which enables safe reconnection and ensures
the upgrade process is not interrupted even if the remote connection process
@@ -340,7 +339,7 @@
# dpkg --get-selections "*" > ~/curr-pkgs.txt
</screen>
<para>
-It is desirable to remove any holds before upgrading. If any package that is
+It is necessary to remove any holds before upgrading. If any package that is
essential for the upgrade is on hold, the upgrade will fail.
</para>
<para>
@@ -446,11 +445,11 @@
</para>
<section id="network">
-<title>Adding APT Internet sources</title>
+<title>Adding APT sources for an Internet mirror</title>
<para>
-The default configuration is set up for installation from main Debian Internet
+The default configuration is set up for installation from the main Debian Internet
servers, but you may wish to modify <filename>/etc/apt/sources.list</filename>
-to use other mirrors, preferably a mirror that is network-wise closest to you.
+to use other mirrors, preferably those closest to you in network terms.
</para>
<para>
Debian HTTP or FTP mirror addresses can be found at <ulink
@@ -515,7 +514,7 @@
</section>
<section id="cdroms">
-<title>Adding APT source from CD-ROM or DVD</title>
+<title>Adding APT sources from CD-ROM or DVD</title>
<para>
If you want to use CDs <emphasis>only</emphasis>, comment out the existing
<quote><literal>deb</literal></quote> lines in <filename>/etc/apt/sources.list</filename> by
@@ -565,8 +564,8 @@
use the package management tool <command>apt-get</command>. In previous
releases, <command>aptitude</command> was recommended for this purpose, but
recent versions of <command>apt-get</command> provide equivalent
-functionality and also have shown to more consistently give the desired
-upgrade results.
+functionality and have also been shown to give the desired upgrade results
+more consistently.
</para>
<para>
Don't forget to mount all needed partitions (notably the root and
@@ -592,8 +591,8 @@
<section id="record-session">
<title>Recording the session</title>
<para>
-It is strongly recommended that you use the <command>/usr/bin/script</command>
-program to record a transcript of the upgrade session. Then if a problem
+It is strongly recommended that you use <command>/usr/bin/script</command>
+to record a transcript of the upgrade session. Then if a problem
occurs, you will have a log of what happened, and if needed, can provide exact
information in a bug report. To start the recording, type:
</para>
@@ -659,11 +658,11 @@
space in other file system partitions in order to both install upgraded
packages (which might contain bigger binaries or more data) and new packages
that will be pulled in for the upgrade. If your system does not have
-sufficient space you might end up with an incomplete upgrade that might be
+sufficient space you might end up with an incomplete upgrade that is
difficult to recover from.
</para>
<para>
-<command>apt-get</command> can show you detailed information of the disk
+<command>apt-get</command> can show you detailed information on the disk
space needed for the installation. Before executing the upgrade, you can see
this estimate by running:
</para>
@@ -727,13 +726,13 @@
<command>wajig</command> (running <literal>wajig size</literal>).
</para>
<para>
-You can list packages that take up most of the disk space with
+You can list the packages that take up the most disk space with
<systemitem role="package">aptitude</systemitem>. Start
-<command>aptitude</command> in <quote>visual mode</quote>,
+<command>aptitude</command> in full-screen mode,
select <menuchoice><guimenu>Views</guimenu><guimenuitem>New Flat Package
List</guimenuitem></menuchoice>, press <keycap>l</keycap> and enter
<literal>~i</literal>, press <keycap>S</keycap> and enter
-<literal>~installsize</literal>, then it will give you nice list to work
+<literal>~installsize</literal>; this will give you a nice list to work
with.
</para>
</listitem>
@@ -838,7 +837,7 @@
<para>
In some cases, doing the full upgrade (as described below) directly might
remove large numbers of packages that you will want to keep. We therefore
-recommend a two-part upgrade process, first a minimal upgrade to overcome these
+recommend a two-part upgrade process: first a minimal upgrade to overcome these
conflicts, then a full upgrade as described in <xref
linkend="upgrading-full"/>.
</para>
@@ -970,7 +969,7 @@
version (displayed as <quote>held back</quote>). This can be resolved by either using
<command>aptitude</command> to choose these packages for installation or by
trying <literal>apt-get -f install
-<replaceable>package</replaceable></literal>.
+<replaceable>package_name</replaceable></literal>.
</para>
</section>
@@ -1120,9 +1119,9 @@
<para>
During the upgrade, you will be asked questions regarding the configuration
-or re-configuration of several packages. When you are asked if any file in
-the <filename>/etc/init.d</filename> directory, or the
-<filename>/etc/manpath.config</filename> file should be replaced by the
+or re-configuration of several packages. When you are asked if the
+<filename>/etc/manpath.config</filename> file or any file in the
+<filename>/etc/init.d</filename> directory should be replaced by the
package maintainer's version, it's usually necessary to answer `yes' to
ensure system consistency. You can always revert to the old versions, since
they will be saved with a <literal>.dpkg-old</literal> extension.
@@ -1394,7 +1393,7 @@
<programlisting condition="fixme">TODO: Remove for lenny?</programlisting>
<para>
mdadm now needs a configuration file to assemble MD arrays (<acronym>RAID</acronym>) from the
-initial ramdisk and during the system initialisation sequence. Please make
+initial ramdisk and during the system initialization sequence. Please make
sure to read and act upon the instructions in
<filename>/usr/share/doc/mdadm/README.upgrading-2.5.3.gz</filename> after the
package has been upgraded <emphasis role="strong">and before you
@@ -1972,19 +1971,19 @@
</listitem>
<listitem>
<para>
- <systemitem role="package">postgresql-8.3</systemitem>, successor
+ <systemitem role="package">postgresql-8.3</systemitem>; successor
is <systemitem role="package">postgresql-8.4</systemitem>.
</para>
</listitem>
<listitem>
<para>
- <systemitem role="package">mysql-server-5.0</systemitem>, successor
+ <systemitem role="package">mysql-server-5.0</systemitem>; successor
is <systemitem role="package">mysql-server-5.1</systemitem>.
</para>
</listitem>
<listitem>
<para>
- <systemitem role="package">python2.4</systemitem>, successor
+ <systemitem role="package">python2.4</systemitem>; successor
is <systemitem role="package">python2.6</systemitem>.
</para>
</listitem>
@@ -1992,7 +1991,7 @@
<para>
Java 5 software including the packages <systemitem
role="package">sun-java5-jre</systemitem> and <systemitem
- role="package">sun-java5-bin</systemitem>, successor is Java 6:
+ role="package">sun-java5-bin</systemitem>; successor is Java 6:
<systemitem role="package">sun-java6-jre</systemitem> and
associated packages.
</para>
@@ -2018,7 +2017,7 @@
<systemitem role="package">xserver-xorg-video-nsc</systemitem>,
<systemitem role="package">xserver-xorg-video-sunbw2</systemitem>, and
<systemitem role="package">xserver-xorg-video-vga</systemitem>.
- They might be removed through the upgrade. Users should install
+ They may be removed during the upgrade. Users should install
<systemitem role="package">xserver-xorg-video-all</systemitem>
instead.
</para>
diff -ru release-notes.copyedited//en/whats-new.dbk release-notes/en/whats-new.dbk
--- release-notes.copyedited//en/whats-new.dbk 2011-02-01 17:39:11.828925631 +0000
+++ release-notes/en/whats-new.dbk 2011-02-01 20:58:56.277260594 +0000
@@ -129,10 +129,10 @@
<section id="newfors390" arch="s390">
<title>What's new for S390?</title>
<para>
- The 32-bit <literal>s390</literal> kernel flavour is no longer
+ The 32-bit <literal>s390</literal> kernel flavor is no longer
provided. As a consequence, only hardware with z/Architecture support
will be supported in Debian &release;, using the
- <literal>s390x</literal> kernel flavour.
+ <literal>s390x</literal> kernel flavor.
</para>
</section>
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