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Re: [useless] I am still on the keyring. With my old key.

>>>>> "Chip" == Chip Salzenberg <chip@pobox.com> writes:

    Chip> Who does a developer have to fuck around here to get his key
    Chip> deleted?  -- Chip Salzenberg <chip@pobox.com>

    Chip> -- To UNSUBSC

Hi.  As you are no doubt aware by now, getting your key removed is a
great mystery and deep magic requiring much research and perseverance.
However as best I can tell delving into the sacred texts, it's a
cryptography magic not a sex magic.  Now, perhaps what you're trying
to do is use a sex magic as a means of coercion to catalyze the
cryptography magic.

That's certainly an interesting approach.  There do seem to be some
references to something similar in some related folk traditions.
However there aren't really any references to this sort of thing in
the sacred texts of cryptography.  I'm a bit concerned that
cryptography has its own coercion magic--never fully described and
only alluded to by the primary tool (the rubber hose [*]).  I'm
concerned that since cryptography has its own coercion magic, it may
not be easy to use another magic for the same purpose.  The powers at
play may simply not interact well.  If you do manage to succeed with
this approach then you will have learned something interesting.

Now, a few comments on attempting the cryptography magic directly.
It's my understanding that the key to such magics--particularly in the
Debian tradition--is to harness sufficient energy and focus it on a
point.  There are apparently techniques that involve public mailing
lists for amplification.  You do have access to a symbol of power
which may give you control of sufficient energy: your old key.

Consider carefully the following ritual.  Carefully write instructions
describing how one not familiar with the Debian tradition could use a
key to influence Debian--particularly focusing on a description of the
package upload ritual.  Of course since you are targeting novices your
description should focus on warning about the ways in which such power
could be abused; not all novices have sufficient imagination so you'll
have to be very explicit.  Take this ritual and place along side it
your private key.  I'm afraid that in order to harness sufficient
power you may have to remove the traditional wards around your key.
Post the result to debian-devel.  I think that the resulting
energy--particularly focused so close to your private key--may totally
destroy your key in the Debian sphere.

BE WARNED.  This is the first ritual I've tried to create myself.  It
involves powers and energies much stronger than I'm used to applying.
Energies that strong often lead to karmic backlash.  I have not yet
calculated the full extent of karmic backlash possible from this
ritual; it seems beyond my capabilities.  I would strongly advise
finishing such a calculation before you begin.  I'm certain that the
energies involved are great enough that there will be consequences
beyond your primary intended effect.

Good luck in your quest.


P.S.  This is a *joke*.  I am not actually advocating disclosing a
private key.  Good luck in actually getting the key removed through
the normal mechanism.

[*] I suppose there are sex magics involving rubber hoses.  They are
beyond my experience and I am not sure how they would interact with
cryptography magic.

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