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[Fwd: Re: Common Policy Proposal]

Now, this is what -curiosa needs!

-----Forwarded Message-----

From: Chad Walstrom <chewie@skuld.homelinux.org>
To: Wafula Okumu <wafulao@mail.com>
Cc: debian-devel@lists.debian.org
Subject: Re: Common Policy Proposal
Date: 20 Apr 2003 15:39:04 -0500

"Wafula Okumu" <wafulao@mail.com>  wrote:
> Dear Debian and Chad:
> Is it possible for you to assist me by sharing with me a framework for
> a comm on defence and security policy proposal.

HUH?  OK.  Let's give this a try.  I'm thinking that a couple Patriot
Missle batteries would be essential in any common defense and security
policy proposal.  I mean, if you're really going to deter your foes, why
not do it the right way.  They're a rightous weapon, and they attract
the babes like a basket full of Cadbury Chocolate Easter Eggs.

Now, you're going to have to hire at least enough mercenaries for a 5:1
ratio of your upper division staff, the people you most want to protect.
You could drop down to 1:20 for the rest of your company staff, maybe
even 1:50.  If you're trying to protect a country, well, I can't give
you exact numbers, but you're going to want tens of thousands of troops.
That might be a bit expensive to pay mercenaries, so try instilling a
draft.  In any case, make sure you keep them busy on the off time by
helping hide those Easter Eggs in the mine-field.  It's a diversion
tactic.  Your foes won't be able to resist the temptation of a good
egg hunt.

Before you ask, chemical weapons are right out.  It's just too messy and
way to problematic.  You'll likely kill half of your own troops trying
to pull off any sort of attack.  Train them in how to defend against
such warfare, but don't give them the means to participate in any other
way.  You do want some sort of credibility, don't you?  If you really
must, send your foes truckloads of "Peeps", you know, the marshmello
sugar bombs.  If that doesn't devestate your foe completely, they'll at
least be busy shoveling out the latrine for weeks.

Weapons of mass distruction?  Again out.  Don't even bother.  Just be
smart on how you deploy your forces and you'll do fine.  If you can,
however, try to get your hands on a "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch".
They're quite effective, especially against vorpal bunnies, but rare
indeed.  I suggest that you train your special forces in using this
awesome weapon by screening Monty Python's, "The Search for the Holy
Grail."  It is the defacto standard training material for Holy weaponry.
Remember, you must pull the pin and toss the Grenade on "three".

> I would be most grateful if you can share with me this information at
> your ea rliest possible convenience.

My pleasure.  I hope my information has helped you out...  OK, not

Chad Walstrom <chewie@wookimus.net>           http://www.wookimus.net/
           assert(expired(knowledge)); /* core dump */

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