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Changing Lightbulbs

I don't think this has been ported to Debian before.



for the original



How many Debian Maintainers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Nine hundred and thirty-nine:

Twenty-three to complain to -devel about the lights being out;

Four to claim that it is a configuration problem, and that such
matters really belong on -user;

Three to submit bugs about it, one of which has priority "grave" and
consists only of "it's dark";

One to do an untested NMU which breaks unstable, then ask around on
#debian how to remove it five minutes later;

Eight to flame the bug report submitters for not including patches in
their bug reports;

Five to complain about unstable being broken;

Thirty-one to answer that it works for them, and they must have
apt-get upgraded at a bad time;

One to post a patch for a new lightbulb to -project;

One to complain that he had patches for this three years ago, but when
he sent them to -devel they were just ignored, and he has had bad
experiences with the BTS; besides, the proposed new lightbulb is

Thirty-seven to scream that lightbulbs do not belong in the base
system, that maintainers have no right to do things like this without
prior discussion, and WHAT IS THE RM DOING ABOUT IT!?

Two hundred to complain about the length of the release cycle;

Three to point out that the patch violates policy;

Seventeen to complain that the proposed new lightbulb is not under

Three hundred and fifty-three to engage in a flame war about the
comparative advantages of the GPL, the BSD license, the MIT license,
the NPL, and the personal hygiene of unnamed FSF founders;

Seven to move various portions of the thread to -legal and -hurd;

One to upload the suggested lightbulb, even though it shines dimmer
than the old one;

Two to file a furious flame of a bug report, arguing that testing is
better off in the dark than with a dim lightbulb;

Forty-six to argue vociferously about the bug report about the dim
lightbulb and demanding a statement from ftpmaster;

Eleven to request a smaller lightbulb so it will fit their Tamagotchi
if we ever decide to port Debian to that platform;

Seventy-three to complain about the SNR on -devel and -qa and
unsubscribe in protest;

Thirteen to post "unsubscribe", "How do I unsubscribe?", or "Please
remove me from the list", followed by the usual footer;

One to upload a working lightbulb while everybody is too busy flaming
everybody else to notice;

Thirty-one to point out that the new lightbulb would shine 0.364%
brighter if compiled with processor-specific optimizations (although
it will have to be reshaped into a cube), and that Debian should
therefore adapt the gentoo "portage" system into dpkg;

One to complain that the new lightbulb lacks fairings;

Nine (including the bug submitters) to ask "what is

Fifty-seven to complain about the lights being out two weeks after the
bulb has been changed.

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