Re: [RFR] wml://legal/anssi.wml
David Prévot wrote:
> In order to address #610872, I propose to include a translation of the
> cryptographic export/import attestation and a link to the three scanned
> documents (hosted on the Debian website once published). Since the
> original document is in French, here is a first shot of its translation,
> even if I'm not well aware of legal English vocabulary (but I tried to
> find as much as I could from the English port of the FNISA web site [1])
> and of course, I'm not confident in what I wrote, so I'd welcome
> proofread, criticism or full rewrite of the attached file (French source
> attached too, if you can understand it).
My attached diff and revised version converts parts of it into the
verbiage that I've seen used more commonly in English (most obviously
the phrase "cryptographic mechanism"). I'm not entirely sure this is
appropriate, but then again it is only the original that's legally
significant.
Oh, and yes, it's true, anything resembling "je vous prie d'agréer,
Monsieur le président-directeur général, l'expression de mes
sentiments les plus respectueuses" boils down in anglophone
business-letterese to "Sincerely". The version I was taught at school
was "Yours Sincerely", but I gather these days that would sound
slightly old-fashioned and long-winded.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
--- anssi.wml.pristine 2011-04-25 07:02:31.940925528 +0100
+++ anssi.wml 2011-04-25 07:27:58.656925702 +0100
@@ -4,18 +4,18 @@
<p>
Following the <a
href="http://people.debian.org/~corsac/anssi/debian-lenny-crypto-declaration.pdf";>\
-declaration related to cryptology equipment</a>, the <a
+[transaction report for a] cryptographic mechanism</a>, the <a
href="http://www.ssi.gouv.fr/site_rubrique88.html";>\
-FNISA (ANSSI)</a> provided the <a
+FNISA (ANSSI)</a> assigned the <a
href="http://people.debian.org/~corsac/anssi/debian-lenny-crypto-attestation.pdf";>\
-1101027 file number</a>.
+file number 1101027</a> to the request.
</p>
<p>
Here is the translation of the <a
href="http://people.debian.org/~corsac/anssi/debian-lenny-crypto-attestation-export.pdf";>\
-cryptographic export/import attestation</a>, please use the <a
-href="anssi.fr.html">original version</a> for legal purpose.
+cryptographic export/import attestation</a> received; please use the <a
+href="anssi.fr.html">original version</a> for legal purposes.
</p>
<hr/>
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@
<br/>
<em>French Network and Information Security Agency</em>
<br/>
-<em>Regulation Coltrol Office</em>
+<em>Regulatory Oversight Office</em>
</p>
<p style="class:center"><strong>
@@ -37,7 +37,7 @@
<br/>
to
<br/>
-Mister Yves-Alexis Perez
+Mr Yves-Alexis Perez
</strong></p>
<table border=0 width="100%" summary="mail headers">
@@ -46,12 +46,12 @@
<tr><td>
Subject:
</td><td>
-Cryptology equipment classification
+Classification of a cryptographic mechanism
</td></tr>
<tr><td>
Reference:
</td><td>
-Your declaration related to cryptology equipment <strong>Debian version 5.0
+Your cryptographic mechanism declaration for <strong>Debian version 5.0
(Lenny)</strong>, registered under the file number <strong>1101027</strong>.
</td></tr>
</table>
@@ -62,28 +62,28 @@
</p>
<p>
-I hereby certify that the cryptology equipment indicated
-in your referred declaration comes under the 3rd category
-of the 2nd annexe of decree No. 2007-663, 2 may 2007.
+I hereby certify that the cryptographic mechanism indicated
+in the above declaration comes under Category 3
+of Schedule 2 of Order number 2007-663 of 2 May 2007.
</p>
<p>
-I consequently inform you that you may freely proceed to
+I consequently inform you that you may freely engage in
transfer operations to a member state of the European Union and
-export to a third-party state with this cryptology equipment.
+export to a third-party state with this cryptographic mechanism.
</p>
<p>
-This attestation does not form in any way a guideline about
-the quality of this cryptology equipment or a recommendation
+This declaration does not in any way constitute a statement about
+the quality of this cryptographic mechanism or a recommendation
from the French Network and Information Security Agency.
</p>
<p>
-Please accept, Sir, the assurances of my highest consideration.
+Sincerely
</p>
<p>
-Ivan Maximoff, policy officer, responsible for cryptology controls
+Ivan Maximoff, policy officer responsible for cryptography controls
</p>
#use wml::debian::template title="Cryptographic export/import attestation"
#use wml::debian::translation-check original="french" translation="1.1"
<p>
Following the <a
href="http://people.debian.org/~corsac/anssi/debian-lenny-crypto-declaration.pdf";>\
[transaction report for a] cryptographic mechanism</a>, the <a
href="http://www.ssi.gouv.fr/site_rubrique88.html";>\
FNISA (ANSSI)</a> assigned the <a
href="http://people.debian.org/~corsac/anssi/debian-lenny-crypto-attestation.pdf";>\
file number 1101027</a> to the request.
</p>
<p>
Here is the translation of the <a
href="http://people.debian.org/~corsac/anssi/debian-lenny-crypto-attestation-export.pdf";>\
cryptographic export/import attestation</a> received; please use the <a
href="anssi.fr.html">original version</a> for legal purposes.
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
Paris, 20 January 2011
</p>
<p>
General Secretariat for Defence and National Security
<br/>
<em>French Network and Information Security Agency</em>
<br/>
<em>Regulatory Oversight Office</em>
</p>
<p style="class:center"><strong>
The Chief Executive of the French Network and Information Security Agency
<br/>
to
<br/>
Mr Yves-Alexis Perez
</strong></p>
<table border=0 width="100%" summary="mail headers">
<colgroup span="2">
<col width="10%"><col>
<tr><td>
Subject:
</td><td>
Classification of a cryptographic mechanism
</td></tr>
<tr><td>
Reference:
</td><td>
Your cryptographic mechanism declaration for <strong>Debian version 5.0
(Lenny)</strong>, registered under the file number <strong>1101027</strong>.
</td></tr>
</table>
<p>
Sir,
</p>
<p>
I hereby certify that the cryptographic mechanism indicated
in the above declaration comes under Category 3
of Schedule 2 of Order number 2007-663 of 2 May 2007.
</p>
<p>
I consequently inform you that you may freely engage in
transfer operations to a member state of the European Union and
export to a third-party state with this cryptographic mechanism.
</p>
<p>
This declaration does not in any way constitute a statement about
the quality of this cryptographic mechanism or a recommendation
from the French Network and Information Security Agency.
</p>
<p>
Sincerely
</p>
<p>
Ivan Maximoff, policy officer responsible for cryptography controls
</p>
Reply to: