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PLEASE, IT
READS WITH SUFFICIENT ATTENTION.
Perhaps you
it will be able to find that I am being wild. But this is my only
hope, although thousand of people, possibly, to find that I
am lying. I know that the time not to be able to
stop, but, unhappyly, seems that
my life stopped in the time.
Although to know to make one accumulated
of things. In the
desperation, I tried to finish with my life thinking that
this was the
only solution, therefore did not support drama to arrive
tired of in such
a way walking the job seek during hundreds of days. In house,
the children were with a sad look, the nervous woman with gesture of
disillusion and in the kitchen, almost always, panelas empty. Each day if passes, the one after other
and in the other day, always the
same thing. No matter
how hard you it tries, the hope never seems to arrive. E at this
moment, you feels a anguish, mainly when it arrives in house
and it looks at
pra family and everything more seems not to correspond. The fear
coexists you day-day. Its auto-they
estimates seems to run away from
you and no matter how hard it tries to reach forces,
nothing it seems to
move. Its days are each more common
time and above of everything,
very sad. In the hour of the
decision an insane person felt to
me. Each moment age of
reflection. It seems incrível! But, people
alone obtain to think about the worse things that had
happened during our
life. Therefore, I was seated in
the top of a building I give to
jump pro another side of the life, full of anguish and depression
was is of me. When
suddenly I was to light a cigarette and, inexplicavelmente
my lighter was
below. Overwhelming, I decided to
go down until the last floor and
to catch the elevator in fetching of my lighter and, when arriving at
the térreo, I looked at for all the sides in fetching of my lighter,
but until then, I did not find object which I looked for. I perceived
that one garotinho left sings it of the street and it asked to me
if I was looking a lighter. After I
to answer, it it said me again
that he was observing me in the top of the building and
asked to me if I
intended to jump. Without
meaning to the boy that dramatical moment, I spoke: Not! It was only
observing how much this city is pretty.
But, exactly thus, it retrucou
me: Please, mine Sir, does not need
to lie pra me, therefore I
am small, but I am a lived boy, therefore, every day I sleep here
in this square, feel cold, hunger, fear and to the times also I do
not know which will be my day of tomorrow.
I do not have father, nor
mother and exactly thus, I am here persisting each day of my
life. Alimentary Pra, I wait the
sopão. Walking
slowly, I was until the square for which the boy pointed
me while it
heard its history. The boy followed
me. I seated in
the bank of the
square and continued ouviz it e, of time in when, I decided to
make some questions and vice and turns. Suddenly in
way to the colloquy it said me that he was thinking about ordering a
letter for the Gugu of the program Legal Sunday, because
it helped much
people. But, unhappyly, wise person
not to write.
I asked if it
did not have relatives, friends and/or any another person who it
could write the letter pra it. It
said me that he has relative,
but preferred does not look them e, how much to the
friends it pointed
me pra one accumulated of these people who live in the street and
she said me that these were its colleagues, but in the
hour of the
survival pra is each one itself and God pra all. Also, that already it
saw people to kill because of food and when arrives the night the
cantos of the street, also they are disputed. For many
times, its great majority smells glue pra to try to forget the fear or
the danger. I asked if already she
had looked some type of aid,
spoke to me that almost all the day always has a good
person that it
tries enxerga it with good eyes, but in the majority of
the times the
people seem that she has fear to approach to them and when it tries
approaches them in the majority of the times if he feels ignored. It still
said me, that the suffering is very, but great parts of
this people, (It
pointed with respect to its colleagues), do not want to leave the
street, because when appears some type of aid, are treated as
enslaved, they are humiliated, they do not obtain to be
normal people,
beyond the conflicts with the excessively familiar ones
that person who
considered to help. According to
it, to the times the intention
of that person is good, but its familiar ones seem not to accept to
live in the same habitat. (Words
improved for me according to its
story). With this,
my affliction was passing and decided to come back pra house and
to try to preset my life. But until
this moment nothing my life
nothing moved. When arriving in
house I gave one hug in my children
and my woman and asked for to excuse of everything for
which I made them
to pass. In the
other day, I was until that square to the seek of that boy
and, thus almost
that consecutively, but never I could see it. It disappeared! Nobody knows to inform its paradeiro,
not even those people who
it pointed me as its colleagues.
Exactly thus, this boy never more
will leave my head and not even I could give one I hug and to be
thankful to it, for saving my life. From there,
I took off one instant and I praid, I asked for the God who showed
a form to decide all to me my problems and that a light in the end of
the tunnel was shown to me, so that I obtained to decide, therefore,
has passed for many humilhações due to live of lease, to be
dismissed and the times even though as for feed. I must very, I lost all my
credits, although to know to make many things I do not obtain
nothing absolutely. But
remembering me the boy, also I thought to write a letter for
the Gugu. E at the moment where I was typing the
mentioned letter, came me an idea
to try to find a battalion of friends through the
Internet, since still
I have chance to have access this tool, although it uses it of
favor. E thus, I thought who knows
either a solution pointed for
God. I go to
try. I talked
with a friend and I asked for that I left to create an
email through its
computer and, then I decided to write this message. I do not
want that it thinks that I am being opportunist and/or that
I am using
its good faith and/or of other people I am only asking for
a force to
try to obtain a worthier life. I do not
want to criticize nobody, as I know that I also have guilt
of this my
situation, but, my family this growing and depends on me, cannot want
abandons them now. They do not have
that to pay for my errors or
my ansiedades. But, they believe
that one day, they will be happy. I still
want to use to advantage this strong tool of communication,
to inform that
everything that I placed in this story is truthful and at any moment,
I I lay or I invented any circumstance to use to advantage me of
this. If necessary I will open mine
the life to all vocês that will be
able to help me direct or indirectly. If you do
not believe my History. Please, he
does not criticize me, he only
prays for me! When I
decided you make it is because I believe that with a bit
of each one I
will be able to decide great part of my problems and who even though
knows to reencontrar that small friend and invites it to be part of
my family. Therefore it is very
special pra me. It I
must my
life. I go to look for until
finding, as I have made to some months. For the
time being, I preferred to protect my family and not even
to display me,
but, I promise to whom I will become public this together action to
that they believe me and who it can interest that I am not an
imposter. Therefore this is my
great hope. If of some
form it will be able to help me, me pass an email that I will enter
in contact. Email:
paginaberta@uol.com.br Very
obliged for reading my history. Jose Robert
Ferreira City: Vila
Velha Country: Espírito Santo - Brasil |