Re: First draft of Debian Day announcement
Thank you Francesca, here are my remarks:
The Debian Project, the team behind the free Debian GNU/Linux
operating syste, would like to invite you to participate in the upcoming
Debian Day which will take place on 24th of July 2011 at Banski Dvor,
Banja Luka, Republic of Srpska, Bosnia and Herzegovina as first day of
the Annual Debian Conference.
s/syste/system/
During Debian Day, the conference opens its door to anyone interested
in finding out more about Debian and Free Software, inviting enthusiast,
users and developers to a full day of talks on several subjects such as Free
Software in government, design and Free Software, Free Software advocacy
as well as a string of talks about the Debian project and operating
system.
I would use "doors" instead of "door".
s/enthusiast/enthusiasts/
After the<q>Debian Day opening plenary</q> during which Adnan Hodzic
will welcome attendees, will be delivered, among others, the following
talks:
This may be valid, but putting the subject after the verb is unusual.
More information about it, and a complete schedule, could
be found at<a
href="http://www.debianday.org";>http://www.debianday.org</a>.
Shouldn't this read "*can* be found"?
Note that the capitalization of "Project" in "Debian project" is not
consistent.
On 2011-07-08 05:38, Francesca Ciceri wrote:
On Fri, Jul 08, 2011 at 11:30:04AM +0200, Francesca Ciceri wrote:
Hi all,
I wrote a first draft of the Debian Day announcement: comments and
reviews would be very very appreciated (as for now is in en_IT).
TIA,
Francesca
And the draft is here:
http://anonscm.debian.org/viewvc/publicity/announcements/en/2011/2011-07-12-debianday.wml?revision=2373&view=markup
:)
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