Re: draft news entry about the Debian derivative FrontDesk
I haven't improved the content, I've just tweaked the phrasing.
Commentary below, revised version at the end.
Stefano Zacchiroli wrote:
> More collaboration among Debian-based distributions: Debian introduces the Derivatives Front Desk
Cut "Debian introduces"?
> The Debian Project has been promoting software freedom and delivering
> Free Software to users via its releases since 1993. Having been one of
~~~~~~~~~~~
This needs a bit of rephrasing, but it's tricky. You've already
used a "since"...
> the first GNU/Linux distribution ever, Debian has spawned several
distributions
> distributions which are nowadays based on the work which is done in
> Debian, as allowed and encouraged by Free Software customs. Such
Okay, how about cutting those sentences up slightly differently:
The Debian Project has been promoting software freedom and delivering
Free Software to users via its releases since 1993, when it was one of
the first GNU/Linux distributions ever. It has spawned several
distributions which are nowadays based on the work done in Debian,
as allowed and encouraged by Free Software customs.
> distributions are colloquially referred to as "derivative
> distributions"; according to DistroWatch, Debian currently enjoys more
That's not particularly "colloquial", and getting a bit repetitive.
I would suggest
Such distributions are colloquially referred to as "derivatives";
(since after all that's what you call them in the next line!)
> than 120 derivatives, including some of the most popular GNU/Linux
> distributions nowadays.
"Nowadays" is slightly awkward, and again repetitive. How about
s/nowadays/currently available/?
> The Debian Project encourages other distributions to be based on the
Should this be "encourages others to base their distributions
on..."? "Encourages other distributions to base themselves on"?
> volunteer work of Debian Developers and believes that it is in
s/in/through/
> inter-distribution collaboration activities such as bug forwarding,
collaborative
> joint maintenance team, patch forwarding, etc. that the Free Software
teams
> ethos gets implemented.
>
> To that end, the Debian Project is happy to announce the opening of its
> Derivatives Front Desk, a discussion place where contributors of
(Is there a more idiomatic phrase than "discussion place"? How
about just "forum"? The word "discuss" is still there later in the
sentence.)
> Debian-based distribution can meet and discuss on how to better push
distributions xx ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Discuss" doesn't need "on".
Formal English "how better to"; more casually "the best ways to".
> their changes back to Debian or otherwise ask for help on how to
> interact with Debian development.
>
> Developers of Debian-based distributions are hereby invited to join the
> <debian-derivatives@lists.debian.org> mailing list as the main
> discussion place for derivatives. Additionally, the Debian Project
discussion forum
> encourages contributors of Debian-based distributions to mail inquiries
> about how to contribute back their changes at <derivatives@debian.org>.
to
You mail inquiries to addresses, not at them.
So that's:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
More collaboration among Debian-based distributions: the Derivatives Front Desk
The Debian Project has been promoting software freedom and delivering
Free Software to users via its releases since 1993, when it was one of
the first GNU/Linux distributions ever. It has spawned several
distributions which are nowadays based on the work done in Debian,
as allowed and encouraged by Free Software customs. Such
distributions are colloquially referred to as "derivatives";
according to DistroWatch, Debian currently enjoys more than 120
derivatives, including some of the most popular GNU/Linux
distributions currently available.
The Debian Project encourages other distributions to base themselves
on the volunteer work of Debian Developers and believes that it is
through inter-distribution collaborative activities such as bug
forwarding, joint maintenance teams, patch forwarding, etc. that the
Free Software ethos gets implemented.
To that end, the Debian Project is happy to announce the opening of its
Derivatives Front Desk, a forum where contributors to Debian-based
distributions can meet and discuss the best ways to push their
changes back to Debian or otherwise ask for help on how to interact
with Debian development.
Developers of Debian-based distributions are hereby invited to join the
<debian-derivatives@lists.debian.org> mailing list as the main
discussion forum for derivatives. Additionally, the Debian Project
encourages contributors of Debian-based distributions to mail inquiries
about how to contribute back their changes to <derivatives@debian.org>.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
JBR
Ankh kak! (Ancient Egyptian blessing)
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