Re: New Debian machine for archive mirror announcement ready: please review and translate
Francesca Ciceri <madamezou@debian.org>
> I'd appreciate a lot reviews and translations.
Taken from http://anonscm.debian.org/viewvc/publicity/announcements/en/2012/2012-02-18-klecker.wml
Says:
## When is this announcement likely to be send out? Please keep in mind,
Should say (typo or tense):
## When is this announcement likely to be sent out? Please keep in mind,
Says:
The Debian Project is pleased to announce that, with the help of
<i>Studenten Net Twente (SNT)</i> and <i>HP</i>, the hardware behind
<q>ftp.debian.org</q> has recently been replaced.
Could say (make it flow better):
The Debian Project is pleased to announce that the hardware behind
<q>ftp.debian.org</q> has recently been replaced with the help of
<i>Studenten Net Twente (SNT)</i> and <i>HP</i>.
Says:
<q>The amount of new architectures added to Debian recently and the fact
Could say (better noun):
<q>The number of new architectures added to Debian recently and the fact
Says:
at University of Twente has a long tradition for the Debian Project.</q>,
Could say (better verb):
at University of Twente is a long tradition for the Debian Project.</q>,
Says:
managing servers and other services and therefore we kindly host `kassia`,
Note:
Strangely, to my en_GB ear, "kindly" there sounds boastful/immodest
but I don't want to mess with someone's quote.
Says:
SNT maintains an FTP mirror for major open source projects such as Firefox
Should say (be more inclusive):
SNT maintains an FTP mirror for major free and open source software projects such as Firefox
Says:
the largest and most influential open source projects. Thousands of
Should say (be more inclusive):
the largest and most influential free and open source software projects. Thousands of
Hope that helps,
--
MJR/slef
My Opinion Only: see http://people.debian.org/~mjr/
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