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Patches for Installation Manual, Chapter 1 (welcome.sgml)



Hi,

Enclosed please find a set of patches for the first chapter of the
Installation manual (boot-floppies/documentation/en/welcome.sgml)
and boot-floppies/documentation/urls.ent.  I also made some fixes
and additions in urls.ent, and defined two entities that should
probably be defined elsewhere: emdash and endash.  (I don't
understand why these entities aren't defined at a higher level;
please suggest a better place for their definitions.)

Also note that the documentation build currently breaks while
trying to build the Finnish docs.  It looks like a whole slew of
identifiers aren't defined in the SGML files.


My plan is to work my way through the entire manual, but I thought
it would be a good idea to get some feedback before I get too
involved.  I'm especially interested in filling in some of the
holes in the PowerPC documentation.

The patches are probably larger than they could be because the
whitespace has changed.  Sorry about that.  If there's some tool
that formats SGML in a standard way that other folks working on
these manuals are using, please let me know.  I used Emacs' PSGML
mode, and I'm not aware of any better tools that don't cost a
fortune.

Thanks,

   CMC

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
 Behind the counter a boy with a shaven head stared vacantly into space, 
 a dozen spikes of microsoft protruding from the socket behind his ear.
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
   C.M. Connelly               c@eskimo.com                   SHC, DS
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+ 

Index: urls.ent
===================================================================
RCS file: /cvs/debian-boot/boot-floppies/documentation/urls.ent,v
retrieving revision 1.50
diff -u -r1.50 urls.ent
--- urls.ent	2000/06/29 14:27:27	1.50
+++ urls.ent	2000/08/09 19:57:04
@@ -24,9 +24,9 @@
 <!entity url-debian-home "http://&www-debian-org;/";>
 
 <!entity ftp-debian-org "ftp.debian.org">
-<!entity url-debian-ftp "http://&ftp-debian-org;/";>
+<!entity url-debian-ftp "ftp://&ftp-debian-org;/";>
 
-<!entity nonus-debian-org "ftp://nonus.debian.org/debian-non-US";>
+<!entity nonus-debian-org "ftp://nonus.debian.org/debian-non-US/";>
 
 <!entity url-social-contract "http://&www-debian-org;/social_contract";>
 
@@ -54,8 +54,8 @@
 <!entity email-boot-floppies-list "debian-boot@lists.debian.org">
 
 <!-- base for the current distribution -->
-<!entity disturlftp "ftp://&ftp-debian-org;/debian/dists/potato";>
-<!entity disturl    "http://http.us.debian.org/debian/dists/potato";>
+<!entity disturlftp "ftp://&ftp-debian-org;/debian/dists/potato/";>
+<!entity disturl    "http://http.us.debian.org/debian/dists/potato/";>
 
 <!entity url-readme-non-us "ftp://&ftp-debian-org;/debian/README.non-US";>
 
@@ -111,6 +111,13 @@
 
 
 <!--
+  Typographic niceties
+-->
+
+<!entity emdash "---">
+<!entity endash "--">
+
+<!--
   misc
   -->
 <![ %lang-ja [ <!entity url-osd
@@ -125,9 +132,13 @@
 
 <!entity url-linux-journal "http://www.linuxjournal.com/";>
 
+<!-- Linux Kernel entities -->
+<!entity url-linux-kernel-list-faq "http://www.tux.org/lkml/";>
+<!entity url-kernel-traffic "http://kt.linuxcare.com/kernel-traffic/";>
+
 <!-- Introductions to the FSF and GNU Project -->
 <!entity url-fsf-intro "http://www.gnu.org/fsf/fsf.html";>
-<!entity url-gnu-intro "http://www.gnu.org";>
+<!entity url-gnu-intro "http://www.gnu.org/";> 
 
 <!-- Kernel archives -->
 <!entity url-kernel-org "http://www.kernel.org/";>
@@ -288,7 +299,7 @@
   "http://www.cis.ohio-state.edu/hypertext/faq/usenet/pc-hardware-faq/top.html";
   -->
 
-<!-- there are a ton of other multiboot oriented HOWTOs; is useful?
+<!-- there are a ton of other multiboot-oriented HOWTOs; are they useful?
      http://metalab.unc.edu/LDP/HOWTO/mini/Linux+DOS+Win95+OS2.html
      http://metalab.unc.edu/LDP/HOWTO/mini/Linux+FreeBSD.html
      http://metalab.unc.edu/LDP/HOWTO/mini/Linux+NT-Loader.html

Index: en/welcome.sgml
===================================================================
RCS file: /cvs/debian-boot/boot-floppies/documentation/en/welcome.sgml,v
retrieving revision 1.15
diff -u -r1.15 welcome.sgml
--- en/welcome.sgml	2000/07/12 17:33:23	1.15
+++ en/welcome.sgml	2000/08/09 19:57:15
@@ -3,77 +3,83 @@
 
 <chapt id="welcome">Welcome to Debian
   <p>
-We're delighted that you have decided to try Debian.  We are sure that
-you will find that &debian; is unique among operating system
-distributions.  Debian brings together quality free software from
-around the world, integrating it into a coherent whole.  The total is
-is truly more than the sum of the parts.
-
-  <sect id="debian">What is Debian?
-    <p>
-Debian is a 100&percnt; volunteer organization, dedicated to developing free
-software and promoting the ideals of the Free Software Foundation.  We
-had our start in 1993 when Ian Murdock set out to create a complete and
-coherent software distribution, based on the relatively new Linux kernel,
-by issuing an open invitation to software developers who would like to
-contribute to the project.  That relatively small band of dedicated
-enthusiasts, originally funded by the
-<url id="&url-fsf-intro;" name="Free Software Foundation"> and
-influenced by the <url id="&url-gnu-intro;" name="GNU"> philosophy,
-has grown over the years into an organization of around 500
-<em>developers</em>.
-    <p>
-Developers are involved in a variety of activities, including:
-<url id="&url-debian-home;" name="WWW"> and
-<url id="&url-debian-ftp;" name="FTP"> site administration, graphics
-design, legal analysis of software licenses, writing documentation, and,
-of course, maintaining software packages.
-    <p>
-In the interest of communicating our philosophy and attracting developers
-who believe in what Debian stands for, we have published a number of
-documents that outline our values and serve as guides to what it means
-to be a Debian Developer.
+We are delighted that you have decided to try Debian, and sure that
+you will find that Debian's GNU/Linux distribution is unique.
+&debian; brings together high-quality free software from around the
+world, integrating it into a coherent whole.  We believe that you will
+find that the result is truly more than the sum of the parts.
+<p>
+This chapter provides an overview of the Debian Project and &debian;.
+  If you already know about the Debian Project's history and the
+  &debian; distribution, feel free to skip to the next chapter.
+
+<sect id="debian">What is Debian?
+    <p>
+Debian is an all-volunteer organization dedicated to developing free
+software and promoting the ideals of the Free Software Foundation.
+The Debian Project began in 1993, when Ian Murdock issued an open
+invitation to software developers to contribute to a complete and
+coherent software distribution based on the relatively new Linux
+kernel.  That relatively small band of dedicated enthusiasts,
+originally funded by the <url id="&url-fsf-intro;" name="Free Software
+Foundation"> and influenced by the <url id="&url-gnu-intro;"
+name="GNU"> philosophy, has grown over the years into an organization
+of around 500 <em>Debian Developers</em>.
+    <p>
+Debian Developers are involved in a variety of activities, including
+<url id="&url-debian-home;" name="Web"> and <url id="&ftp-debian-org;"
+name="FTP"> site administration, graphic design, legal analysis of
+software licenses, writing documentation, and, of course, maintaining
+software packages.
+    <p>
+In the interest of communicating our philosophy and attracting
+developers who believe in the principles that Debian stands for, the
+Debian Project has published a number of documents that outline our
+values and serve as guides to what it means to be a Debian Developer:
       <list compact>
-        <item>
-Anyone who agrees to abide by
-the <url id="&url-social-contract;" name="Debian Social Contract"> may
-become a <url id="&url-new-maintainer;" name="new maintainer">.
-Any maintainer can introduce new software
-into Debian -- provided it meets our criteria of being free, and the
-package follows our quality standards.
-        <item>
-The <url id="&url-dfsg;" name="Debian Free Software Guidelines">
-is a clear and concise statement of Debian's criteria for free
-software.  It is a very influential document in the Free Software
-Movement, and provided the basis of the <url id="&url-osd;"
-name="Open Source Free Software Guidelines">.
-        <item>
-Debian has an extensive specification of our standards of
-quality, the <url id="&url-debian-policy;" name="Debian Policy">.
-This document defines the qualities and standards to which we hold
-Debian packages.
+        <item>The <url id="&url-social-contract;" name="Debian Social
+		       Contract"> is a statement of Debian's
+		       commitments to the Free Software Community.
+		       Anyone who agrees to abide to the Social
+		       Contract may become a <url
+		       id="&url-new-maintainer;" name="maintainer">.
+		       Any maintainer can introduce new software into
+		       Debian&emdash;provided that the software meets
+		       our criteria for being free, and the package
+		       follows our quality standards.
+
+        <item>The <url id="&url-dfsg;" name="Debian Free Software
+		       Guidelines"> are a clear and concise statement
+		       of Debian's criteria for free software.  The
+		       DFSG is a very influential document in the Free
+		       Software Movement, and was the foundation of
+		       the <url id="&url-osd;" name="Open Source Free
+		       Software Guidelines">.
+
+        <item>The <url id="&url-debian-policy;" name="Debian Policy
+		       Manual"> is an extensive specification of the
+		       Debian Project's standards of quality.
     </list>
   <p>
 Debian developers are also involved in a number of other projects;
-some are specific to Debian, others involve the Linux and community
-in general, for example:.
+some specific to Debian, others involving some or all of the Linux
+community.  Some examples include
     <list compact>
+      <item> The <url id="&url-lsb-org;" name="Linux Standard Base">
+(LSB).  The LSB is a project aimed at standardizing the basic Linux
+system, which will enable third-party software and hardware developers
+to easily design programs and device drivers for Linux-in-general,
+rather than for a specific Linux distribution.
       <item>
-designing the
-<url id="&url-lsb-org;" name="Linux Standard Base"> (LSB).
-The LSB is a project aimed at standardizing the basic Linux system, which
-will enable third party software and hardware developers to easily design
-programs and device drivers for Linux in general, rather than for a
-specific Linux distribution.
+The <url id="&url-fhs-home;" name="Filesystem Hierarchy Standard">
+(FHS) is an effort to standardize the layout of the Linux
+filesystem. The FHS will allow software developers to concentrate
+their efforts on designing programs, without having to worry about how
+the package will be installed in different Linux distributions.
       <item>
-The <url id="&url-fhs-home;" name="Filesystem Hierarchy Standard"> (FHS)
-is an effort to standardize the layout of the Linux filesystem. This
-will allow software developers to concentrate their efforts on designing
-programs, without having to worry about how the package will fit into
-the various Linux distributions.
-      <item>
-<url id="&url-debian-jr;" name="Debian Jr."> is an internal project, aimed
-at making sure Debian has something to offer our youngest users.
+<url id="&url-debian-jr;" name="Debian Jr."> is an internal project,
+aimed at making sure Debian has something to offer to our youngest
+users.
     </list>
   <p>
 For more general information about Debian, see the <url
@@ -82,218 +88,261 @@
 
   <sect id="linux">What is GNU/Linux?
     <p>
-The GNU Project has developed a comprehensive set of free software tools
-for use with Unix&trade; and unix-like operating systems, such as Linux.
-These tools enable one to perform everything from mundane tasks like
-copying or removing files from the system, to compiling programs and
-doing sophisticated editing on a variety of document formats.
-    <p>
-Linux is a free kernel for the operating system of your computer.
-An operating system consists of various basic programs which are needed
-by your computer so that it can run software. The most important part is
-the kernel. The kernel is, simply put, a program which handles the hardware
-related issues like accessing the serial port, managing the hard drives and
-organizing your memory. It is also responsible for starting programs.
-Linux as such is just the kernel and people colloquially say Linux
-but mean a GNU/Linux system, which is based on the
-<url id="&url-kernel-org" name="Linux kernel"> and many GNU programs.
-    <p>
-Linux first appeared in 1991 and was written by Linus Torvalds from
-Finland. Nowadays several hundred people are actively working on the
-kernel. Linus is coordinating the development and also decides what
-will go into the kernel and what not.
+The GNU Project has developed a comprehensive set of free software
+tools for use with Unix&trade; and Unix-like operating systems such as
+Linux.  These tools enable users to perform tasks ranging from the
+mundane (such as copying or removing files from the system) to the
+arcane (such as writing and compiling programs or doing sophisticated
+editing in a variety of document formats).
+<!-- Sorry, I couldn't resist the rhyme. -->
+
+    <p>
+An operating system consists of various fundamental programs which are
+needed by your computer so that it can communicate and receive
+instructions from users; read and write data to hard disks, tapes, and
+printers; control the use of memory; and run other software. The most
+important part of an operating system is the kernel.  In a GNU/Linux
+system, Linux is the kernel component.  The rest of the system
+consists of other programs, many of which were written by or for the
+GNU Project.  Because the Linux kernel alone does not form a working
+operating system, we prefer to use the term ``GNU/Linux'' to refer to
+systems that many people casually refer to as ``Linux''.
+
+The <url id="&url-kernel-org" name="Linux kernel"> first appeared in
+1991, when a Finnish computing science student named Linus Torvalds
+announced an early version of a replacement kernel for Minix to the
+Usenet newsgroup <tt>comp.os.minix</tt>.  See Linux International's
+<url id="http://www.li.org/li/linuxhistory.shtml"; name="Linux History
+Page"> <!-- That newsgroup should probably have some non-stylistic
+markup...--> <!-- We could also have a more detailed history here if
+there's any --> <!-- interest. -->
+    <p>
+Linus Torvalds continues to coordinate the work of several hundred
+developers with the help of a few trusty deputies.  An excellent
+weekly summary of discussions on the <tt>linux-kernel</tt> mailing
+list is <url id="&url-kernel-traffic" name="Kernel Traffic">.  More
+information about the <tt>linux-kernel</tt> mailing list can be found
+on the <url id="&url-linux-kernel-list-faq" name="linux-kernel mailing
+list FAQ">
+
 
   <sect id="dgl">What is &debian;?
     <p>
-The combination of Debian philosophy and methodology, with the GNU tools
-and the Linux kernel have resulted in a unique software distribution that
-is known as &debian;. This distribution is made up of a large number of
-software <em>packages</em>. Each package: consists of executables, scripts,
-documentation, and configuration information; has a <em>maintainer</em>
-who is responsible for the package; and is tested to ensure that it works
-with the other packages in the distribution. All of this results in
-&debian; being a high quality, stable, and scalable distribution; easily
-configured as a small firewall box, desktop computer, workstation, or
-a high-end client/server/peer for use with the Internet or a Local
-Area Network.
+The combination of Debian's philosophy and methodology and the GNU
+tools, the Linux kernel, and other important free software, form a
+unique software distribution called &debian;. This distribution is
+made up of a large number of software <em>packages</em>.  Each package
+in the distribution contains executables, scripts, documentation, and
+configuration information, and has a <em>maintainer</em> who is
+primarily responsible for keeping the package up-to-date, tracking bug
+reports, and communicating with the upstream author(s) of the packaged
+software.  Especially important packages are tested to ensure that
+they work well with the other packages in the distribution.
+<!-- How much testing is really done beyond making a package available -->
+<!-- in unstable for people to use and report any bugs?  I think that -->
+<!-- making a big deal out of packages being tested implies that there -->
+<!-- is some rigorous process beyond simple bug reporting by end -->
+<!-- users.-->
+<p>
+Debian's attention to detail allows us to produce a high-quality,
+stable, and scalable distribution.  Installations can be easily
+configured to serve many roles, from stripped-down firewalls to
+desktop scientific workstations to high-end network servers.
     <p>
 The feature that most distinguishes Debian from other GNU/Linux
-distributions is its package management system; <prgn>dpkg</prgn>,
-<prgn>dselect</prgn> and the <prgn>apt</prgn> suite of programs.
-These tools give the administrator of a Debian system complete control
-over the packages that comprise it, including automatically updating
-the entire distribution or singling out packages that should not be
-updated. It is even possible to tell the package management system about
-software you have compiled yourself and what dependencies it fulfills.
-    <p>
-To protect your system against trojan horses and other malevolent
-software, Debian verifies that packages have come from their real
-Debian maintainers. Debian packagers also take great care to configure
-the packages in a secure manner.  If security problems do arise with
-shipped packages, fixes are generally quickly available.  Simply by
-updating your systems periodically, you will download and install
-security fixes.
+distributions is its package management system.  These tools give the
+administrator of a Debian system complete control over the packages
+installed on that system, including the ability to install a single
+package or automatically update the entire operating system.
+Individual packages can also be protected from being updated.  You can
+even tell the package management system about software you have
+compiled yourself and what dependencies it fulfills.
+    <p>
+To protect your system against ``trojan horses'' and other malevolent
+software, Debian's servers verify that uploaded packages come from
+their registered Debian maintainers.  Debian packagers also take great
+care to configure their packages in a secure manner.  When security
+problems in shipped packages do appear, fixes are usually available
+very quickly.  With Debian's simple update options, security fixes can
+be downloaded and installed automatically across the Internet.
     <p>
 The primary, and best, method of getting support for your &debian;
-system and communicating with the Developers is through the 80+ mailing
-lists that Debian maintains. To subscribe to one of the Debian mailing
-lists please go to <url id="&url-debian-lists-subscribe;"
-name="the subscription page">.
-
-
-  <sect id="hurd">What is Hurd?
-    <p>
-Debian GNU/Hurd is a Debian GNU system which is using the Hurd kernel.
-In contrast to the monolithic Linux kernel the Hurd kernel is a
-micro-kernel based on the MACH kernel. The current status is that is
-still being developed although the base is working and nearly full
-operational. In a nutshell: the Hurd system will be treated like the
-&debian; system but has another kernel management. If you are curious
-and you want to learn more about Debian GNU/Hurd please see the
-<url id="&url-debian-home;ports/hurd/" name="Debian GNU/Hurd ports pages">
-and the mailinglist <email>debian-hurd@lists.debian.org</email>.
+system and communicating with Debian Developers is through the many
+mailing lists maintained by the Debian Project (there are more than 90
+at this writing).  The easiest way to subscribe to one or more of
+these lists is visit <url id="&url-debian-lists-subscribe;"
+name="Debian's mailing list subscription page"> and fill out the form
+you'll find there.
+
+
+  <sect id="hurd">What is Debian GNU/Hurd?
+    <p>
+Debian GNU/Hurd is a Debian GNU system that replaces the Linux
+monolithic kernel with the GNU Hurd&emdash;a set of servers running on
+top of the GNU Mach microkernel.  The Hurd is still unfinished, and is
+unsuitable for day-to-day use, but work is continuing.  The Hurd is
+currently only being developed for the i386 architecture, although
+ports to other architectures will be made once the system becomes more
+stable.
+
+For more information, see the <url id="&url-debian-home;ports/hurd/"
+name="Debian GNU/Hurd ports page">
+and the <email>debian-hurd@lists.debian.org</email> mailing list.
 
 
   <sect id="getting-newest-doc">
 	<heading>Getting the Newest Version of This Document</heading>
 	<p>
-This document is continually changing.  Make sure to check <url
-id="&url-release-area;" name="Debian &release; pages"> for last minute
-information about the &release; release.  Updated versions of this
-installation manual are also available at the
-<url id="&url-install-manual;" name="Official Install Manual pages">.
+This document is constantly being revised.  Be sure to check the <url
+id="&url-release-area;" name="Debian &release; pages"> for any
+last-minute information about the &release; release of the &debian
+system.  Updated versions of this installation manual are also
+available from the <url id="&url-install-manual;" name="official
+Install Manual pages">.
 
   <sect id="organization">Organization of This Document
     <p>
-This document is meant to serve as a manual for first time Debian
-users.  It tries to make as few assumptions as possible about the
-level of expertise of the reader.  However, general knowledge of how
-your hardware works is assumed.
+This document is meant to serve as a manual for first-time Debian
+users.  It tries to make as few assumptions as possible about your
+level of expertise.  However, we do assume that you have a general
+understanding of how the hardware in your computer works.
     <p>
 Expert users may also find interesting reference information in this
-document, including minimum installation sizes, details of hardware
-supported by the Debian installation system, and so on.  We encourage
-expert users to jump around in the document.
-    <p>
-In general, the document is arranged in linear fashion, walking the
-user through the installation process.  Here are the steps, and the
-sections of this document which correlate with the steps.
+document, including minimum installation sizes, details about the
+hardware supported by the Debian installation system, and so on.  We
+encourage expert users to jump around in the document.
+    <p>
+In general, this manual is arranged in a linear fashion, walking you
+through the installation process from start to finish.  Here are the
+steps in installing &debian;, and the sections of this document which
+correlate with each step:
 <enumlist>
 	<item>
 Determine whether your hardware meets the requirements for using the
 installation system, in <ref id="hardware-req">.
 	<item>
-Backup your system, and perform any planning and hardware
+Backup your system, and perform any necessary planning and hardware
 configuration prior to installing Debian, in <ref id="preparing">.
 	<item>
 Partition your hard disk as described in <ref id="partitioning">.
-Partitioning is very important, since you may have to live with it for
-a while.
+Getting the partitions on your system set up correctly is very
+important, because once you've done the install, you may have to live
+with your choices for a long time.
 	<item>
-In <ref id="install-methods">, the different ways to install Debian
-are presented.  Select and prepare your installation media accordingly.
+In <ref id="install-methods">, several different ways to install
+Debian are presented and discussed.  Select your favorite method and
+prepare your installation media as described.
 	<item>
-Next, you shall boot the installation system.  Information on this
-step is covered in <ref id="rescue-boot">; this chapter also contains
-troubleshooting procedures in case you have a hard time booting.
+<ref id="rescue-boot">, describes booting into the installation
+system.  This chapter also discusses troubleshooting procedures in
+case you have problems with this step.
 	<item>
-Perform initial system configuration, which is discussed in <ref
-id="init-config">, Sections <ref id="dbootstrap-intro"> to <ref
-id="configure-network">.
+Perform the initial system configuration, which is discussed in <ref
+id="init-config"> (Sections <ref id="dbootstrap-intro"> through <ref
+id="configure-network">).
 	<item>
-Install the base system, from <ref id="install-base">.
+<ref id="install-base">.
 	<item>
-Boot into the newly installed base system and run through some
-post-base-installation tasks, from <ref id="base-boot">.
+Boot into your newly installed base system and run through some
+post-base&endash;installation tasks, from <ref id="base-boot">.
 	<item>
 Install the rest of the system, using <prgn>dselect</prgn> or
 <prgn>apt-get</prgn>, in <ref id="install-packages">.
       </enumlist>
     <p>
 Once you've got your system installed, you can read <ref
-id="post-install">.  This chapter explains where to look to find more
-information about Unix, Debian, and how to replace your kernel.  In
-case you want to build your own install system from  sources, take a
-look at <ref id="boot-floppy-techinfo">.
+id="post-install">.  That chapter explains where to look to find more
+information about Unix and Debian, and how to replace your kernel.  If
+you want to build your own install system from source, be sure to read
+<ref id="boot-floppy-techinfo">.
     <p>
-Finally, information about this document, and how to contribute to it,
+Finally, information about this document and how to contribute to it
 may be found in <ref id="administrivia">.
 
 
 <![ %FIXME [
       <sect>WARNING: This Document is in Testing
 	<p>
-This document is an early, pre-release version of the official Debian
-Installation Manual.  It is known to be incomplete and not finished,
-and probably contains errors, grammatical problems, etc.  If you see
-``FIXME'' or ``TODO'', you can be sure we already know that that
-section is not complete.  Buyer beware.  Any help, suggestions, and
-especially, patches, would be greatly appreciated.
+This document is an early, prerelease version of the official Debian
+Installation Manual.  It is known to be incomplete, and probably also
+contains errors, grammatical problems, and so forth.  If you see the
+words ``FIXME'' or ``TODO'', you can be sure we already know that
+section is not complete.  As usual, <em>caveat emptor</em> (buyer
+beware).  Any help, suggestions, and, especially, patches, would be
+greatly appreciated.
 	<p>
-The non-x86 version of this document are particularly incomplete,
-inaccurate, and untested.  Help needed!
+The non-x86 versions of this document are particularly incomplete,
+inaccurate, and untested.  Your help is definitely wanted!
 	<p>
 Working versions of this document can be found at <url
-id="&url-install-manual;">.  There you can find subdirectories
+id="&url-install-manual;">.  There you will find subdirectories
 containing the different architectural flavors of the document.  The
 <file>source</file> subdirectory contains SGML sources for the
-document, which is the appropriate area if you want to go patching.
-Note that area is rebuilt daily out of the
+document, which is the appropriate area if you want to make patches.
+Note that the contents of these directories are rebuilt daily from the
 <package>boot-floppies</package> CVS area.
 
 ]]>
 
   <sect>About Copyrights and Software Licenses
     <p>
-I'm sure you've read the licenses that come with most commercial
-software -- they say you can only use one copy of the software on one
-computer. The &debian; system isn't like that. We encourage
-you to put a copy on every computer in your school or place of
-business. Lend it to your friends, and help them install it on their
-computers. You can even make thousands of copies and <em>sell</em>
-them -- with a few restrictions. That's because Debian is based on
-<em>free software</em>.
-    <p>
-Free software doesn't mean that it doesn't have a copyright, and it
-doesn't mean that CDs containing this software are
-distributed at no charge.  Free software, in part, means that the
-licenses of individual programs do not require you to pay for the
-privilege of distributing or using the programs. It also means that
-anyone may extend, adapt, and modify the software, and distribute the
-results of their work as well.<footnote>Note that we do make available
-many packages which do not meet our criteria of being free.  These are
-distributed in the <tt>contrib</tt> area or the <tt>non-free</tt>
-area; see the <url id="&url-debian-faq;" name="Debian FAQ">, under
-``The Debian FTP archives''.
+We're sure that you've read some of the licenses that come with most
+commercial software&emdash;they usually say that you can only use one
+copy of the software on a single computer.  The &debian; system's
+license isn't like that at all.  We encourage you to put a copy of
+&debian; on every computer in your school or place of business.  Lend
+your installation media to your friends and help them install it on
+their computers!  You can even make thousands of copies and
+<em>sell</em> them&emdash;albeit with a few restrictions.  Your
+freedom to install and use the system comes directly from Debian being
+based on <em>free software</em>.
+    <p>
+Calling software ``free'' doesn't mean that the software isn't
+copyrighted, and it doesn't mean that CDs containing that software
+must be distributed at no charge.  Free software, in part, means that
+the licenses of individual programs do not require you to pay for the
+privilege of distributing or using those programs.  Free software also
+means that not only may anyone extend, adapt, and modify the software,
+but that they may distribute the results of their work as
+well.<footnote>Note that the Debian project, as a pragmatic concession
+to its users, does make some packages available that do not meet our
+criteria for being free.  These packages are not part of the official
+distribution, however, and are only available from the
+<tt>contrib</tt> or <tt>non-free</tt> areas of Debian mirrors or on
+third-party CD-ROMs; see the <url id="&url-debian-faq;" name="Debian
+FAQ">, under ``The Debian FTP archives'', for more information about
+the layout and contents of the archives.
       </footnote>
 
     <p>
 Many of the programs in the system are licensed under the <em>GNU</em>
-<em>General Public License</em>, or <em>GPL</em>.  The GPL requires
-that you make the <em>source code</em> of the programs available
-whenever you distribute a copy of the program; that ensures that you,
-the user, are able to modify the software.  Thus, we've included the
-source code for all of those programs in the Debian
-system.<footnote>For information on how to locate and unpack Debian
-source packages, see the <url id="&url-debian-faq;" name="Debian
-FAQ">.</footnote> There are several other forms of copyright and
-software license used on the programs in Debian. You can find the
-copyrights and licenses of every program by looking in the file
-<!-- this is tt rather than file on purpose -->
+<em>General Public License</em>, often simply referred to as ``the
+GPL''.  The GPL requires you to make the <em>source code</em> of the
+programs available whenever you distribute a binary copy of the
+program; that provision of the license ensures that any user will be
+able to modify the software.  Because of this provision, the source
+code for all such programs is available in the Debian
+system.<footnote>For information on how to locate, unpack, and build
+binaries from Debian source packages, see the <url
+id="&url-debian-faq;" name="Debian FAQ">.</footnote> There are several
+other forms of copyright statements and software licenses used on the
+programs in Debian. You can find the copyrights and licenses for every
+package installed on your system by looking in the file <!-- this is
+tt rather than file on purpose -->
 <tt>/usr/doc/<var>package-name</var>/copyright</tt> once you've
-installed your system.
+installed a package on your system.
     <p>
-For more information on licenses and how Debian decides what is free
-enough to be included in the main distribution, see the <url
-id="&url-dfsg;" name="Debian Free Software Guidelines">.
+For more information about licenses and how Debian determines whether
+software is free enough to be included in the main distribution, see
+the <url id="&url-dfsg;" name="Debian Free Software Guidelines">.
     <p>
 The most important legal notice is that this software comes with
 <em>no warranties</em>.  The programmers who have created this
 software have done so for the benefit of the community.  No guarantee
 is made as to the suitability of the software for any given purpose.
-However, since the software is free, you are empowered to modify
-software to suit your needs as needed -- and enjoy the benefits of
-others who have extended the software in this way.
+However, since the software is free, you are empowered to modify that
+software to suit your needs&emdash;and to enjoy the benefits of the
+changes made by others who have extended the software in this way.
 
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