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Bug#863881: marked as done (release-notes: proofreading sweep - about.dbk)

Your message dated Sat, 03 Jun 2017 10:01:00 +0000
with message-id <[🔎] 52d55e66-b304-b923-d809-a7ef2fe387a0@thykier.net>
and subject line Re: Bug#863881: release-notes: proofreading sweep - about.dbk
has caused the Debian Bug report #863881,
regarding release-notes: proofreading sweep - about.dbk
to be marked as done.

This means that you claim that the problem has been dealt with.
If this is not the case it is now your responsibility to reopen the
Bug report if necessary, and/or fix the problem forthwith.

(NB: If you are a system administrator and have no idea what this
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immediately.)


-- 
863881: http://bugs.debian.org/cgi-bin/bugreport.cgi?bug=863881
Debian Bug Tracking System
Contact owner@bugs.debian.org with problems
--- Begin Message --- 
Package: release-notes
Severity: wishlist
Tags: patch

Just to get the ball rolling here's a commented diff on one of the
files that has least need for proofreading.  All I've got to suggest
are two very low-priority stylistic improvements.

 Index: about.dbk
 ===================================================================
 --- about.dbk	(revision 11524)
 +++ about.dbk	(working copy)
 @@ -51,7 +51,7 @@
  please file a bug in the <ulink url="&url-bts;">bug tracking
  system</ulink> against the <systemitem
  role="package">release-notes</systemitem> package. You
 -might want to review first the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
 +might first want to review the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
  reports</ulink> in case the issue you've found has already been reported. Feel
  free to add additional information to existing bug reports if you can
  contribute content for this document.

(This feels like a clumsy attempt to avoid a "split infinitive", but
in fact the way I'd naturally phrase it is like this, which avoids the
issue anyway.)

 @@ -132,7 +132,7 @@
      <emphasis>Debian Documentation Project</emphasis>.  You can use
      the <ulink url="&url-svn-release-notes;">web interface</ulink> to
      access its files individually through the web and see their
 -    changes.  For more information on how to access the SVN please
 +    changes.  For more information on how to access SVN please
      consult the <ulink url="&url-ddp-svn-info;">Debian Documentation
      Project SVN information pages</ulink>.
    </para>

I suppose developers may feel differently about this, but I wouldn't
naturally refer to a particular version control repository as "the"
SVN any more than I'd talk about checking something out of a git.

(The "Debian Documentation Project SVN information pages" also mention
git; is this SVN-only coverage in the release-notes still true or does
it need an update?)
-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package

Index: about.dbk
===================================================================
--- about.dbk	(revision 11524)
+++ about.dbk	(working copy)
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@
 please file a bug in the <ulink url="&url-bts;">bug tracking
 system</ulink> against the <systemitem
 role="package">release-notes</systemitem> package. You
-might want to review first the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
+might first want to review the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
 reports</ulink> in case the issue you've found has already been reported. Feel
 free to add additional information to existing bug reports if you can
 contribute content for this document.
@@ -132,7 +132,7 @@
     <emphasis>Debian Documentation Project</emphasis>.  You can use
     the <ulink url="&url-svn-release-notes;">web interface</ulink> to
     access its files individually through the web and see their
-    changes.  For more information on how to access the SVN please
+    changes.  For more information on how to access SVN please
     consult the <ulink url="&url-ddp-svn-info;">Debian Documentation
     Project SVN information pages</ulink>.
   </para>

--- End Message ---
--- Begin Message --- 
Justin B Rye:
> Package: release-notes
> Severity: wishlist
> Tags: patch
> 
> Just to get the ball rolling here's a commented diff on one of the
> files that has least need for proofreading.  All I've got to suggest
> are two very low-priority stylistic improvements.
> 
> [...]

Thanks, applied. :)

> 
> (The "Debian Documentation Project SVN information pages" also mention
> git; is this SVN-only coverage in the release-notes still true or does
> it need an update?)
> 

The release-notes itself is still in SVN.  But I believe some of the
other documentation is now in git.  :)  So the release-notes part is
still true.
  Though it sounds like the "Debian Documentation Project SVN
information pages" could probably do with a "retitle" to use "VCS"
instead of "SVN". :)

Thanks,
~Niels

--- End Message ---
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