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Re: Please review announcement of upcoming release of Debian 4.0r4 "etch-and-a-half"



Alexander Reichle-Schmehl wrote:

> Attached you'll find the current draft for the announcement of
> "etch-and-a-half".  Please review it;

Patch attached.

Mostly null grammar changes. I also replaced the reference to "update
against ftp.debian.org" to "update against a Debian mirror" as using
ftp.debian.org as a mirror is deprecated.


Regards,

-- 
Chris Lamb, UK                                       chris@chris-lamb.co.uk
                                                            GPG: 0x634F9A20
--- 20080726.wml.orig	2008-07-26 15:30:39.000000000 +0100
+++ 20080726.wml	2008-07-26 16:13:20.000000000 +0100
@@ -33,17 +33,17 @@
 <p>Please note that this update does not constitute a new version of Debian
 GNU/Linux 4.0 but only updates some of the packages included.  Even if you need
 new drivers during installation time there is no need to throw away 4.0 CDs or
-DVDs. If you don't need newer drivers you'll only to update against
-ftp.debian.org after an installation, in order to incorporate those late
+DVDs. If you do not need newer drivers you will only need to update against a
+Debian mirror after an installation in order to incorporate these late
 changes.</p>
 
-<p>Those who frequently install updates from security.debian.org won't have
-to update many packages and most updates from security.debian.org are
-included in this update.</p>
+<p>Those who frequently install updates from security.debian.org will not have
+to update many packages as most updates from security.debian.org are included
+in this update.</p>
 
 <p>New CD and DVD images containing updated packages and the regular
-installation media accompanied with the package archive respectively
-will be available soon at the regular locations.</p>
+installation media accompanied with the package archive will be available
+soon at the regular locations.</p>
 
 <p>Upgrading to this revision online is usually done by pointing the
 aptitude (or apt) package tool (see the sources.list(5) manual page) to
@@ -91,10 +91,10 @@
 
 <h2>Debian-Installer Update</h2>
 
-<p>Due to changes regarding creating of ssl certificates used during
-installation via the network-console the Debian-Installer got updated,
-too.  Two other issues regarding installation on already existing RAID
-setups and recognizing PowerPC64 system have been fixed, too.</p>
+<p>The Debian-Installer was also updated due to changes regarding the creation
+of SSL certificates used during installation via the network-console. Two other
+issues regarding installation on existing RAID setups and recognizing PowerPC64
+systems have also been fixed.</p>
 
 
 <h2>Miscellaneous Bugfixes</h2>
@@ -137,7 +137,7 @@
 <correction znc				"Fix NULL pointer deferences leading to crashes">
 </table>
 
-<p>These packages got updated on the named architecture, to bring the architectures back in sync:</p>
+<p>These packages were updated on the specified architecture to bring the architectures back in sync:</p>
 <table border=0>
 <tr><th>Package</th>			<th>Architecture &mdash; Reason</th></tr>
 <correction apache2-mpm-itk		"s390 amd64 sparc powerpc arm i386 mips ia64 alpha mipsel hppa &mdash; Rebuild against updated apache2">
@@ -266,7 +266,7 @@
 </table>
 
 <p>A complete list of all accepted and rejected packages together with
-rationale is on the preparation page for this revision:</p>
+rationale is available on the preparation page for this revision:</p>
 
 <div class="center">
   <url "http://release.debian.org/stable/<release>/<revision>/">
@@ -276,7 +276,7 @@
 
 <h2>Removed packages</h2>
 
-<p>The following packages got removed due to circumstances beyond our control:</p>
+<p>The following packages were removed due to circumstances beyond our control:</p>
 <table border=0>
 <tr><th>Package</th>                    <th>Reason</th></tr>
 <correction glimpse                     "Licensing issues">

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