[Debian]: Fake: Quantum, Seagate, and IBM sponsor the Debian project
nicht ernst nehmen, amüsieren und weitergeben ;-))
----- Forwarded message from firstname.lastname@example.org -----
Date: 6 Jul 1999 13:48:06 -0000
Subject: [LATEST] Quantum, Seagate, and IBM sponsor the Debian project
Quantum, Seagate, and IBM sponsor the Debian project
Straight from the department of Fake News
In several press releases issued today, three major hard drive
manufacturers announced their plans to supply servers, money, and
software packagers to the Debian project. "This is even better than
Windows 2000, but now there's no need for waiting! Many people are
downloading Debian GNU/Linux, but no one has time to go through all of
the packages and choose which ones they want. And the most natural
reaction is to install everything. This will cause a massive upsurge
in the demand for hard drives if Debian's growth continues," an IBM
spokesperson told Segfault.
Debian GNU/Linux is known for its vast size and willingness to accept
any package into the distribution that complies with its licensing
guidelines. Part of the deals with these three hard drive
manufacturers include the corperations assigning full-time employees
to generating new Debian packages to add to the distribution. Of
course, these will all be free. IBM said in its press release that it
would be licensing all of its upcoming Linux software under the GPL in
order to add a few hundred more megabytes of cruft to the main Debian
In return, Debian will be replacing the "No space available on device"
message, a common sight while doing an installation, with an
advertisement for a random one of these hard drive manufacturers.
Debian will require that these companies make all geometry information
and interface specifications for their drives publicly available. The
Debian project will unconditionally accept patches from any of these
companies to the IDE and SCSI subsections of the kernel. Segfault has
already obtained the initial set of patches from a source who prefers
to remain anonymous. These patches are far too lengthly to post here,
but Segfault's carefully trained code monkeys did notice lines
containing the words Maxtor, Western_Digital, and Conner used in if
statements - All with the comment /* DIE */ just after the opening of
the if statement.
Quantum is seeking to ship the Debian distribution on IDE hard disks.
"We feel like we can help those who want to try Debian but either have
a connection slower than an OC-3 or don't want to install from 10
DVD-roms," a spokesperson from Quantum told Segfault. The Debian
project told us that Quantum will begin maintaining the new default
apt mode: "Install from Quantum hard drive". Quantum will also
preinstall Debian GNU/Linux on selected drives, but rumor has it that
there will be 100 bytes of free space on the drive and the customer
will be urged to buy another Quantum hard drive to use for files,
data, and new applications.
Seagate told Segfault that they would be focusing on the Linux server
market. Seagate will ship spare drives for a RAID system in case the
nightly distribution update overflows the drives that are on-line.
Seagate will be making high-speed, reliable SCSI code patches for the
Linux kernel which will become standard in the Debian distribution's
default kernel. But rumor has it that you run a risk of corrupting
other brands of drives with it.
Written by Aaron Lehmann <email@example.com>
----- End forwarded message -----
_ciao, Jens_______________________________ http://www.pinguin.conetix.de
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